Monday, March 31, 2008

Don't be a jerk. Delurk! (And, Tootsie Rolls)

Ok, well, maybe jerk is a little strong. The problem is that my rhyming skillz are a bit lackluster, and what else rhymes with lurk that fits the sentence?

But Mrs. Higrens asked what everyone could do to make my two weeks go by more quickly. And I could think of a lot of things:

1. Send money. For shoes.
2. Send cookies. For nom nom nom, Cookie Monster Style.
3. Send nachos. For obvious reasons.
4. Send comments. Delurk. Make your self known, and whatnot.

It seems like # 4 is most realistic, no? (Now anyone compelled to comply with 1 - 3 should go for it.)

I know people are reading...but not posting comments. So leave me a comment! Tell me how you got here. Or what you're infertility situation is. Or hell, tell me you love me and want to marry me!

That would make me feel better.

Now, on to other things. (Other things being me, making an ass of myself and totally oversharing.)

I feel really shit-tay today. I was suffering through work, and I skipped class tonight because I couldn't see getting through it without falling asleep. Or without having my abdomen explode and covering everyone in follicle goo.

Back when I was still seeing Dr. Fabulous, I went to their required IVF informational meeting. It was...informational? Yes. It was.

The speaker at the meeting said something that didn't mean much to me at the time, but hit me like a ton of bricks today. Apparently, when you normally ovulate, your ovaries are the size of the tip of your thumb. And, apparently, when you're stimming for IVF, your ovaries become the size of your FISTS.

And really, that seems appropriate. Because before I remembered that, I was almost thinking that there was some sort of mini-hulk taking lodge in my abdomen. Making me bloated and punching me right in the ovaries (Right in the babymaker, if you will).

I keep wondering if it is the size of your own fists, or the size of, say...the fists of Arsenio Hall? Because my fists are not impressive because I have freakishly small hands. Carnie Hands. (Not! that there's anything wrong with being a carnie...)

Yesterday when I went for my super pleasant and painless ultrasound, my ovaries looked all cattywhompus. There were so many follicles, that instead of being round, they were kind of square? I guess they were more rectangular. Dr. Goldfarb called them oblong.

I think they looked like Tootsie Rolls.



I've never been a huge fan of Tootsie Rolls. I think they're a piss poor excuse for chocolate. Impostors! Plus, they make my jaw all hurty when I eat them.

But ever since yesterday, I've been really hungry for a damn Tootsie Roll.

17 comments:

Io said...

I'm no lurker! C'mon lurkers, be cool like me and comment!
Tootsie rolls suck.

Paranoid said...

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm a lurker. I found your blog two weeks ago while I was in my own IVF 2ww and furiously looking for others in a similar position so I could distract myself.

I hope all goes well for you tomorrow, though with your description of your laden ovaries, it doesn't look like you need any help. :-)

Bec said...

OK I admit I lurk a bit... *waves*
Hmmm... We don't have Tootsie Rolls here so I can't judge :-)

PJ said...

I'm sending nachos. You DO like nachos, don't you? :)

Fists!!! Sigh...

Good luck with you!

Eggie said...

I love you and want to marry you...shhh, don't tell Jared.

Mrs. Higrens said...

I'd be happy to send cookies. Just not "Toll House" because I've made 3 batches in the past 2 weeks. I'm all "Toll House'd" out. Rice crispy treats OK?

(Thanks for the shout out. I'm going now to make sure my internet underwear is safely put away - just in case, you know!)

donna said...

delurking breifly : - )

good luck today xxx

casicola said...

Im no lurker...im a a full fledge stalker..hahahha I get so many laughs from your page. I have told you before that you make me smile when i dont want to sometimes...so thanks. And btw when i did a mini stem i felt like my overaies where huge i cant even imagine during IVF with a full stem...omg holy bloatedness

Lindsay said...

so totally a lurker as well :-)

my dh and i just completed our first IUI and are in the 2ww. as much as i hope to god that i do not have to make it to IVF, the grace with which you handle the process and your emotions makes me cry everytime i read your blog.

okay, maybe its you + the huge ass amounts of clomid coursing through my veins thats making me Mrs. Teenage Angst, but whatev.

Marie said...

I love your blog I read it everday to get my laugh on.

Ahuva Batya said...

I found your log because I decided to just randomly click through the Stirrup Queens blogroll, and lo, there you were. I read every day, and on the days you don't blog I feel a deflated sense of disappointment.

Ovaries the size of fists, you say? Fists of Fury?

Jendeis said...

Tootsie rolls do suck. I'll hold out for Rolos though. :)

Emily said...

Why do I suddenly have the urge to start singing that stooopid song ... you know the one.

"Let me see that Tootsie Roll..."

Thanks for the laughs today. I've been better about trying not to just "lurk" like Lurch.

Annegirrl said...

Delurking! Tootsie rolls are a waste. We have had the same 5 little ones sitting in a basket for over a year in our break room here at work.

liina said...

Delurking. Struggling to make baby no. 2 for almost 2 years. Now on Clomid and full of hope.

E_Sharp said...

I'll be lurking now that I have found this blog (albeit a little later in the space time continuum than this entry was written).
I wasn't going to comment until I saw you used the term "cattywhompus" (which I always thought was spelled "kettywhompus"). I'd never heard of that term before I met my husband. It's usually in reference to hair.
But I blather... You're funny lady. I'll be back.

Mrs PAJ said...

ok so i know this is an old post but i just found your blog and have been reading from the beginning (work? what's work?) and since this entry requested delurking i'm writing to thank you. we haven't officially started the IUI and IVF fun (after my endo diagnosis last august i went on lupron and then my period went into hiding) but i still relate to so many of your comments and my husband totally reminds me of yours and i just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences. ok that was all :-)