Monday, May 19, 2008

Back In The Saddle...Well...Stirrups

The stirrups in the ultrasound room don’t have covers on them. Which sounds kind of inconsiderate, but I’ve developed an elaborate explanation for the lack of soft covers on the shockingly cold metal.

Dr. Goldfarb told me that every afternoon, all of the doctors get together and review every patient file. They have to do this, because they are very busy and work as a team, and this helps them to all be familiar with every case. And that all seems like a very good idea, except nobody ever knows who the hell I am without going through my entire file while I sit and watch, thinking, “Seriously? I’m going to be late for work.”

But my theory is that one day, while at one of these daily afternoon meetings, one of the doctors started complaining about how all the patients fall asleep on the ultrasound table between the time they tell you to STRIP! From the waist down and when they come back to view the girly bits.

Who hasn’t been tempted to just take a teeny little nap on that ultrasound table? Sometimes you have to wait for, like, two minutes! That’s two whole minutes of precious sleep! I mean, we’re on Lupron after all…and we can’t have caffeine, because it’s clearly Satan in a Styrofoam cup…

So the doctors came up with the brilliant scheme to keep us awake. Are you ready? Because I’m about to blow. your. mind.

I think that one of the doctors, or maybe an ultrasound tech or a nurse, had the brilliant idea to set the room temperature to a frigid 22 degrees. And just in case the arctic blast of the room wasn’t enough? Let’s not cover the stirrups! Let’s leave the metal bare, and maybe even rub it with ice cubes before each patient, so that when they lay down, they can’t nap! Because it’s cold!

And everyone at the big wooden table does a long, evil belly laugh…

Other than the frostbite that I got on my pinky toe during today’s ultrasound, everything else went well. The regular ultrasound lady, Martie, is back from Paris – so no more Teeny McShortarms. And Martie? Is fabulous! She explains everything – not in a condescending way – and says things like, “your antral follicles are like ladies in waiting,” and “your uterus is lovely, and your ovaries are really working hard.” And Martie? Calls you in by first AND last name. No confusion of the Jennifers when Martie is in charge.

And she wears cute shoes.

It sounds like maybe I have a girl crush on Martie, doesn’t it? Clearly not, but I think we’re going to get along juuuuust fine.

One ultrasound down. One million to go.

Are you doing treatments right now? If so, where are you in the process? And also, do they cover the stirrups at your office??

31 comments:

Paranoid said...

I'm three days away from my first FET (assuming my embryo-cicles make it out of the freezer ok). My clinic keeps its ultrasound rooms at a nice, cozy 75 degrees. Which is fine when everything's going well, but can feel like you're literally in hell when things are going badly.

Infertile Friend said...

Going in for my first ultrasound tomorrow for our first IUI. I'll let you know if the stirrups are covered!

Stephanie said...

The stirrups are always covered with socks. Socks that match the season/holidays. Soft socks....I like them!

Glad things went well for you at the U/S and that Martie is back!!!

Alison said...

LOL! I think you might be on to something. Glad everything is going well!

Bon said...

HAHA. I'm going in for IUI here in a couple weeks after AF starts again. Oh yes..she WILL come. They don't have socks on the stirrups at my RE's office. I remember this because during my last exam, I was so tense I was gripping the cold metal rings with my toes.

Esther said...

I'm doing Clomid 150mg this cycle and will have my HSG on Wednesday. Stirrups are covered, but it is FREEZING cold in the office and I have literally waited there for 1.5 hours covered in little more than a piece of paper towl.

emily said...

my doctor's office usually has them covered but as i lay there, with nothing to think about, i always obsess over the gross fungal (is that a word?) diseases that might be living on those socks. i wonder how often they wash them?

on a different note, i just discovered your blog last week and i have really enjoyed it. my husband and i have been trying to get pregnant for ten months now and if i'm not pregnant this time, i'll start clomid... likely sometime within the next week. it has been really comforting reading about other people's experiences and even though we're not quite as far in as you and your husband are, i have been inspired by your optimism and totally entertained by your sarcasm so thank you so much for sharing your story.

and maybe buy some fuzzy socks to take the the dr. office next time? i'd like to think i'll think of that (so as to avoid the ick) but i'm quite certain i'll forget.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, my stirrups are covered by what looks like those sweater things that protect golf clubs. However I go into convulsions when my ankle bones hit the sides of the stirrups...my ankles being the ONLY bony part of my body. You know, when your knees have to fall to the sides and your ankle bone slams into the sides of the stirrups? Could I get some padding here please? Or, call me lazy, but I'd like something to prop my knee up for me. Yeah, great idea..for the price of IVF i think they could spring for some knee props.

hopefaithlove said...

always cover with ad socks. Maybe you need to tackle a pharm rep for a pair, they can be part of your own private stash.

Jess said...

My RE has covers on the stirrups and thankfully it is always nice and warm in there. The wait is usually not more than 5 minutes once I am adorned with a beautiful paper towel! :)

Suzanne said...

I am going through Gonadotropin/IUI cycle and will have the IUIs probably wed and thursday!

My docs have a mixture of seasonal socks and ad covers. The nurses say that the male doctors like it cold. I actually inquired one day about the frigid temp, probably after I was shivering for 20 minutes and bare from the waist down.

Oh, and do they warm the gel? I've gotten warm gel 1/3 sonos and it totally makes a difference!

Meghan said...

Best ass-vice I ever got was to ALWAYS wear socks to the RE. I laughed and went sock-less for my first trip last summer....never again

Dreamer4agift said...

I'm in the last week of the 2ww and just plain bored out of my freakin' mind. If one more person calls me on my days off to ask if I've tested yet, and if I think I'll have 10 kids, well, I'm gonna make up some huge story and say "yes, and I'm positive for herpes!" okay, maybe not, but maybe they'd leave me alone.

Anyway, my RE's office does not cover the stirrups. However, they are made of some kind of plastic stuff, so they're not that cold...although, I think it's a bit unsanitary.

Glad that Martie is back and she's so much better than Teeny:)

Suzanne said...

I've had 2 ultrasounds so far and I am pleased to say that my doctor's office has the decency to place socks on the stirrups. But, now I'm wondering where they get the socks? Did they steal them from patients? I mean, are there women being robbed of their socks? Or, are they stinky socks from the hamper that someone just didn't feel like washing?

So, now I'm completely grossed out. Next time I go, I might have to double up on my socks.

PJ said...

Yep. My center is like Stephanie's and has socks for the seasons. Right now (well, last week) they were pink with little eggs on them. They are a little behind on the sock changing. Same thing happened after Christmas. It was mid-January. Slackers!


Oh, and they have the non-substance magazines on the U/S for you to read while you freeze and wait. Ya know, stuff you'd never buy, but don't mind reading while you wait.

sarah23 said...

Ya know, I honestly can't remember if the stirrups are covered. Which makes me think that they probably ARE...

To me, the *really* important thing is that the put the condom on the dildocam(!) Tee hee.

Denise said...

My RE's office uses these cover things that the drug companies send them. Great advertising to put the drug name where people put there feet, eh? I think I got spoiled with the covers because I went to my OB for a pap a couple of months ago and they had the bare, freezing cold metal. It must be a conspiracy.

Lost in Space said...

My RE's office has them covered too, but I still always wear socks. Even if I wear sandals I still bring socks in my purse. There are a whole lot of feet touching those things.

My RE usually does my ultrasounds and always extends a hand to help me up after he is done. I thought it was a little weird until I was about 7-8 days into injections and had trouble getting up from all the bloat. LOL.

Kim said...

Not in treatments, but mine were always covered - most had some drug company advertising on them. But I have to agree that the rooms were always cold! I say wear socks - big thick ones! lol

Carrie said...

We just had IUI#2 on Saturday. The speculum thing hurt really bad....I don't get it. Paps never hurt, so this must be a special speculum that has to clamp your cervix in place. Anyhoo, 12 days to go until we test. The 2WW hasn't been bad. The first week is pretty easy, but the second week is pretty tough.
And yes, my RE has socks on the stirrups!

BB and MTB said...

The stirrups are always covered with the special marketing GonalF stirrup cozies. I'm guessing these are not available at your local Walmart or Target. And I always bring socks with me just for the exam.

Have fun with the next million exams.

Mrs. Higrens said...

My OB/GYN's office uses the fuzzy faux-lambswool mitts you can buy in the car wash aisle.

And what's with the paper-towel wraps? Really? Because even the thinnest, most worn cloth ones are warmer.

Allison said...

MY RE has them covered with socks. I am glad that Martie is back and things went well for you at your appointment!

Shila said...

My RE has them covered with fuzzy, soft, lamb like mitts. I have never noticed the office being cold but I go in a couple days and I am going to check it out! However, I always wear a dress on exam days that way I don't have to undress....I can just lift up my dress and be done!!!

sarah said...

My ob's office has you put your knees over the strirups (and they have oven mit type coverings). It is so much easier to relax when I don't have my legs hiked up so high! My re's office has the standard heel stirrups covered by seasonal socks.

the Babychaser: said...

If they don't cover the stirrups, what do you think they do with all the stirrup covers they get from the manufacturers of gonal f, and menapur, and ganarelix, and such? Do you think they use THOSE to cover their golf clubs?

I often have the urge to nap on the ultrasound table. It takes me 2.5 seconds to get out of my jeans and panties and onto the table. So why is it that they give me five whole minutes? What do they think I need to do to "strip from the waist down"? The problem is, napping on the table only works if you can put your feet up. And the only place to put your feet up is in the stirrups. And I just don't want to be that freak that is so eager to get in the stirrups she does it AHEAD OF TIME! Gasp! Can you imagine what they would think of me? Slut. Whore. Stirrup-lover.

So I sit and read my book instead, thinking longingly of the nap I could be having if I could just get past my fear of looking too comfortable in the stirrups.

Hope2morrow said...

Hi- I just found your site. I'm currently taking a break from treatment and have scheduled a consultation with a new doctor to get a second opinion. Good luck!

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

They don't cover the stirrups at my office, either... but now I'm all about those comfy slip-proof socks and massaging leg warmers they give you after surgery. I almost had to steal them from the hospital and start wearing them out in public... I could couple it with a cone bra and be like the infertile Madonna. Do you think it would catch on?

Bec said...

Our stirrups have plastic covers thanks goodness! Im on Day 9 today of IVF #4, willing my follicles to keep growing!

Wishing 4 One said...

Ok now I will blow everyones mind with what they do here in Cairo...

1. There are no stirrups, you're legs are propped up on table only.
2. They cover the magic wand with some ky-like jelley and a plastic disposable glove, so one finger is filled I'd guess you say and the rest are flying around, too funny.

But I must say they are sterile and clean, just improvise a bit in equipment I guess, LOLLL! Hey if I get a positive in 7 days, i won't be laughing at em!!!

By the way just found you're blog, AWESOME, i'm a new fan.

Anonymous said...

Totally belated, but inspired by Julie over at a little pregnant- I take those dang promo covers and turn them around or inside out. It feels good. In a stick it to the man kind of way.