How many times has this happened to you? You are trolling the parking lot for an acceptable space, and as you race up a row you scout out a cherry spot - ripe for the picking! As you swing into the parking spot, you slam on your breaks and come to a stop in front of what might possibly be the most annoying phrase ever emblazoned onto metal:
PARKING FOR EXPECTING MOTHERS ONLY.
Well, of fucking course.
Now before you get all pregnant pushing on me, I would like to point out that I get the basis behind the idea. I am sure it is a pain in the ass to walk from the parking lot into a store when you are carrying 30 extra pounds in your stomach. I fully get that. But I still think it's annoying, and I also think that Parking for New Mothers Only makes more sense, because it has to be hard to juggle a newborn, your purse, and the 20 pounds still left in your stomach after delivery.
So I get it. Pregnant people are delicate flowers.
Still fucking annoying.
And how does one define "expecting?" All infertiles are expecting to expect at some time, right? Wouldn't that make them expecting mothers? What about someone who pissed on her last pee stick at 7dpo and needs to drive to the store to get more. Is she considered expecting? How about me? I am full of liquid and gas that feels like a solid, and I am indeed pregnant (with a 27,000 beta to prove it), so do I qualify for parking in this spot? Must you be at 70 inches around the midsection to park there? So confusing.
But anyway, on Saturday. I slammed on my breaks when I saw the sign. And guess what?
I PARKED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT SPOT!
I did it for me, and I did it for infertiles everywhere! I even have photographic proof!
I also suffered from the burden of moron management today. Click here to read about that.