Monday, June 23, 2008

Second Beta


Second beta was today.


Are you wearing a diaper? Because I nearly shit my pants when I got the number, and I have an exceptional sphincter, so I'm just saying...hold on to your shorts.


Beta #1, 15dp3dt: 964

Beta #2, 22dp3dt: 27,820


Just to verify that I didn't add a zero or carry an extra 1,000: 27,820.


At this point, you're probably wondering exactly what I'm growing in this uterus of mine.

My best guess? A Wildebeest.




My ultrasound would have been this coming Tuesday, but we will be on a Caribbean cruise all week. So it will be 7/8, the Tuesday after we get back.

But you better believe that I will be eating for at least three after THAT beta. HOT DAMN!

Here's how I'm feeling:

Tired. So very, very tired.

Bloated. So very, very bloated.

Nervous. So very, very nervous.

Hungry. So very, very hungry.

I bought a pregnancy book (smug, I know. I'm sure something will go wrong now that I've been so bold as to buy a pregnancy book) and it is kind of pissing me off. It is Your Pregnancy Week by Week.

First of all, they expect you to only gain, like, 3 pounds during your first trimester. Bitch whaaaaa? I gained 3 pounds at dinner tonight! And they are all, "Oh, you will be able to wear your normal clothes until, like, 14 weeks. Or else you are a total hoss and should step away from the refrigerator."

I'll just let you know that none of my clothes fit. I know I've been over this, but for realsies people: even the fat infertility pants won't button without a tub of margarine, a wing, and a prayer.

I read way far ahead, but got really bored at 26 weeks.

I think I'm a better infertile than pregnant person.

65 comments:

Jill said...

You'll be a fantastic pregnant person. I hope the tiredness doesn't ruin your trip.... but at least You'll get all the amazing food you could ever dream to eat!

Alison said...

You so got two cooking in there! Holy cow!

Shereen said...

When I read 'bitch whaaaa?' I totally laughed out loud and snorted. I can't even wait for your u/s. Eat like a hog on your cruise and enjoy every minute of it!

SusieG said...

Holy huge beta #! I bet there's at least two or three in there! Maybe you'll get identical triplets! Have fun on your cruise! Can't wait for the u/s results!

SAHW said...

Wow that is some beta!! Enjoy your cruise!

AOTexas said...

Delurking to say that I can totally relate to your feelings of being a better infertile than pregnant woman. It was very hard for me to bridge that gap when I first got pregnant. I actually bought that same pregnancy journal as an act of good faith right after the blood draw from my second beta.

Also, my pre-pregnancy clothes didn't fit from before retrieval. :)

Newt said...

Zowie, that's some kind of beta! Congrats, and enjoy the trip.

Oh, and my clothes haven't fit for weeks. The pregnancy books are written by people who have apparently never owned pants.

Io said...

A wildebeest? Bitch whaaa? You mean like two wildebeests and a rhino, right?
Damn girl! How am *I* going to wait until your u/s?! I want to know what you got up your choochie!

Bev said...

Ok a couple things:

1. Holy fabulous Beta batman! That is awesome. Quintriplets anyone?

1. I was better at being infertile. I had come to terms with being infertile a year ago. Being pregnant is still sinking in, and I'm practically in my second trimester and I can't quite believe it is actually happening to me. Even after three ultrasounds, I'm still suspicious that fate is quitepossibly just playing a cruel joke on me.

3. My clothes stopped fitting at 6 weeks. I read the SAME THING in the same book and though "Beyotch please." Not even the bella band was ready for this jelly.

Congrats again. I am truely SO excited for you ;)

Jen said...

Good lord, that is quite a beta! You rock!

Totally ignore those pregnancy books. I gained three pounds before I got the positive test. And my pants totally didn't fit at all after Week 8 and I've only got one in there.

PJ said...

YAY!

I am thinking maybe TWO wildebeasts, but what do I know, I'm still an infertile. :P

K-Dot said...

Holy Beta Batman! That number is HUUUUUGE!
Congrats!

Tricia said...

HOLY BETA!!!!!!!! NICE!!! I can't wait to hear about your sono. Good lord. I don't know you are waiting. And as for your pants not fitting, mine don't fit now and I am 10DPO. So there. LOL

Annegirrl said...

Every time I saw those "you should have gained X amount by this week" in a pregnancy book all I saw was "blah, blah, blah, blah" while I was chowing on my oreo cream pie and 4 soft taco supremes from Taco Bell.

Eat hearty! I was starving every single damn day the first tri.

calliope said...

dude! You make good beta!
wow.

Amy said...

Whoohooo! What an awesome beta. I hope you and the whole soccer team you're incubating have a great vacation!

Amanda said...

I love reading your blog -- I found you off a link of a link of a link from a friend! :) I am so excited for you. Yea 3 lbs. in first trimester -- SO not this girl -- I hear ya maybe 3 lbs. a meal! LOL I didn't eat much and gained 70 the first time and 60 the 2nd time around -- I was able to drop it fast -- Doctor said I was just the type to gain weight -- great since I already need to lose weight! Keep thinking pink and blue!

Wendy said...

That is one massive beta! Wow! I'm really happy for you - have a great time on your vacation, you pg girl, you!

alison said...

Holy shit! Can I say shit on your blog? Holy shit! 30,000?? That's like a few kindergartners in there! Impressive beta! I think it's better that I don't have betas. You would beat me. :)

mommiewannabe said...

OK. I gotta ask:

1. What the hell protocol were you on?
2. How many embies did you put back?!!?!!!!
Like, all of them, and everybody else's?

annacyclopedia said...

Awesome! I'm fascinated by the wildebeests and am looking forward to the u/s to see how many are stampeding in there.

Hope you get to enjoy some shopping for clothes that fit!

sarah23 said...

I bet you have a touch of OHSS causing that early bloat... I couldn't wear anything at week 4-5, but I am in normal clothes again at week (almost) 10.

Can't wait to see how many babies are in there. :) {fingers crossed for either 1 or 2}

Sarah

Lost in Space said...

Holy shit, Jen!! I have never seen a 2nd beta like that.

LOL at margarine, a wing, and a prayer.

Enjoy your cruise and eat up, mama!!

seriously? said...

Wow. Congrats. I think each of your embies split a few times. I say you are having two sets of identical triplets.

Tammy said...

I'm with seriously...that was my thoughts exactly. LOL Have a great trip, Jen. Eat up and enjoy. =)

J. Nelson said...

Don't worry about pants. Your going to need a tent if you have 2 sets of trips. HaHaHa

Have a great VACA!

Anonymous said...

Mark and Jen plus ten???
Seriously CONGRATS!!!!! Enjoy your vacation!

Rebecca said...

You definitely need to invest in a Bella Band! It lets you wear your pre-pregnancy clothes longer and your maternity clothes earlier. I went through 3 IVFs and got pregnant on the third. By then I'd gained at least 10 pounds and didn't fit in to any of my clothes. I was wearing maternity clothes fairly early on with the help of the Bella Band.

Lisa said...

HOLY CRAP JEN! I am so excited for you. Now I can't wait for MY ultrasound OR YOURS! Hehe. :-)

Senora Roocell said...

I think I am more excited for you than when I finally got pregnant! I cried when I saw the pic of your pee stick. And I have that book too and totally agree. I kept holding out on the maternity clothes, even though I was insanely uncomfortable, and thinking I was a freak for gaining so much weight so fast. After going up two pant sizes and still being uncomfortable and looking fat and frumpy I broke down and bought maternity clothes at 12 weeks. Screw it! These pants are great!!! Should have bought some years ago. Have a great va-cay!

Anonymous said...

Holy Second Beta! I'm still predicting quads, you IVF superstar. Can't wait to hear about your u/s - have a great trip!

Amy said...

Holy Cow! What a number! You only transferred two...I wonder what the odds are that they both split??

Have a great vacation!

Mel said...

holy shit!
like I said, girl, you aren't just pregnant, you are FUCKING pregnant!
LOL
*hugs*

Congrats on the great news. ;)

andrea said...

you are so rocking out that beta!

hope you found some cute stuff to take on your cruise - as i am sure you did!

Tiffanie said...

son of a bitch! that beta is c to the razy if you know what i mean. i think they need to make a pregnancy book for infertile people who gain the first 2 trimesters worth of alotted lbs by just taking the g-damn meds. then it wouldn't make you feel so bad. it could be called "you're not really a fat-ass, it's the meds," or something.

Marie said...

Wow Jen, you should have been nicer to the dugar family because you may need some tips..lol jk

Emily said...

Jen!!! I have to tell you that I was thinking about you on our vacay and made my husband stop in the middle of Caeser's Palace to bring up your blog on his cell so I could see if you got your BFP! I am so freakin' happy for you!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sarah said...

Zowie! That's multiples for sure!
I'm only 7 weeks, with one, and I had to get a bella band and some 0-6 months maternity pants. At 14 weeks I expect to be wearing the big maternity pants, if you know what I mean.

Heather said...

Have a great vacation! Your symptoms and beta results make me wonder how many are cooking in there. And don't worry about what they say on how much weight you should gain. I think all IF treatment pregnancies include gaining some weight even before you're officially pregnant. And then if you don't have any morning sickness in your first trimester, you are much more interested in eating than the average PG woman.

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

"{Insert DH's Name} and Jen Plus 10!"
Take that, Duggars. You are SO much more fertile than her, now, lol!
Seriously, I am so stoked for you. And you gain as much damn weight as you can, lady! You deserve to tell everyone that you're pg, I mean how often did we have to suffer looking at big bellies... now you get to show yours off. Time to break out the bare midriff tube tops.

Malloryn said...

That is one kickass beta!! You rock, girl! Enjoy that cruise and eat as much as you damn well please... you're eating for at least 3, after all :)

Congrats!!!!!!!

The Town Criers said...

That is one amazing set of betas!

Amanda said...

While my journey to getting pregnant was far easier than most infertiles (only 2 years, which still felt like an eternity, and 11 cycles of clomid (yes, in a row, and no, the doctor didn't even monitor me just told me to take my temperature)...because my doctor wouldn't try anything else! Got pregnant on the last clomid cycle before FINALLY getting into the fertility clinic).
ANYWAYS, I must say, that I still worry. Constantly. My newest obsession is with incompetent cervix. I have no reason to believe I have an incompetent cervix, other than my obsession with SOMETHING going wrong. I'm at 15 weeks.
oh..and my non-pregnant clothes stopped fitting at 5 or 6 weeks, but I lost weight. Figure that one out!

Amber said...

Wow. Very reassuring! I think you'll shrink back down (as your ovaries go back to normal) before you swell-up with baby. Have fun on your vacay and I can't wait for your u/s.

Mermaid said...

Wow. That is unreal! I'm so damn excited and happy for you and Mark! And I can't stop saying "Woo to the Hoo" from your first beta post. I don't know why I get such a kick out of that!

womb for improvement said...

Ok I'm still trying to get to the pregno stage so only know the infertility lingo (I've got the whole pee on a stick thing down to a tee).

What is a beta? What would you expect it to be?

hairyfarmerfamily said...

That's a lovely looking wildebeest, but with horns like that I should hope for a breech presentation.

Awesome HCG.

M said...

Holy Crap!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!

Wishing 4 One said...

OMG yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Have fun on the cruise and eat LOTS!!!

Soooo HAPPY for u girl! xoxoxox

Mrs. Higrens said...

Holy wildebeest betas bat-girl.

I don't know what those numbers mean, but I'm seriously impressed with your achievement.

tabatha said...

that's amazing!! and such a cute wildebeast.

Kymberli said...

I'm also thinking multiples with those numbers! I can't wait to hear about your u/s! Enjoy your vacation!

Nine said...

those numbers are fanastic! I'd say you have at least two in there! congrats!

Bec said...

Holy crap hon - that is huge!!!

Leah in Texas said...

You rock!! My IVF cycle failed and we went back to injectbles! Talk about a walk in the park!! I got a BFP 12 DPO.
Just so you can compare....here are my betas..

13 DPO - 90
15 DPO - 330
22 DPO- 7222
29 DPO - 29,037 (6 wks 1 day)

And guess what? My 5 week, 1 day ultrasound (22 DPO) showed 2 sacs. We check for heartbeats next week.

Looks like you have two horny Wildebeest'ssss in there!! Congrats!! Have fun on the cruise.

Lorrie said...

That number is insane! (But in a good way.)

Misty River said...

Jen congrats on an awesome beta!! You may even get your own show on TLC. Mark and Jen plus Ten (it just rhymed well with your name!!)

Have fun on your cruise!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Jen, I am sure that I am the last person that you want to and or expected to hear from but......It is Jackie from High School. I just wanted to say that I have been following for several months now and I am very very happy for you and Mark. After all that the two of you have been through I can only imagine your joy at this point. Relax on your cruise and enjoy the sun. I know that you will make a great mother and I am very happy for you! Best wishes to you all!

Jackie Shultz (Bekar)

Chelle said...

That is one big beta! Congrats!! Enjoy your cruise!

Anonymous said...

Betarific number Jen! Better at being infertile?!, you might have to get over that in a big time hurry and start thinking about multiple EVERYTHING! What a nice concept, Congrats and Enjoy the trip !

whataboutmyeggs said...

Whoa!! Those are excellent Betas!! You have to be growing a couple little peanuts in there. Congratulations!!! I love your blog, hope you keep us all updated.

Pink-CJ said...

OMG!! You are hilariously funny!! I found your blog through Destination Baby and I am sure going to keep reading!! You remind me of my crazy self. and I SOOOO Want to park in the Expecting Mothers' only spot, but still haven't gotten aroudn to it yet!! I will though!

Steph said...

Congrats on your beta!! I can't wait to see your ultrasound. The night before mine I was convinced we had triplets due to one embryo splitting and didn't sleep a wink all night. Turned out to only be one, for which I am now glad!! Don't know how two would fit in there!

And ya, ignore those stupid pregnancy 'guidelines' I gained 12 pounds my first trimester--eat what you want and ENJOY pregnancy!!

And enjoy your cruise!! You will love it!!

Michell said...

Wow!! That beta is freaking fantastic. I hope you have a great cruise.

courtney said...

I wonder what you're insurance company is going to say about this!
Congratulations and I think you're writing is hilarious.