A few weeks ago, I was touched. No, not "show me on the doll where the bad man touched you" touched.
I was a victim of the belly touch.
I was violated.
I will be the first to admit that I was always pissed off at pregnant people for complaining about people touching their stomachs. Whiney bitches, don't know how lucky they are. Right?
Maybe I still hold that opinion to be true. Hopefully I will make it to the point where I am big enough to have random people feeling me up, and I can let you know if it is really that offensive. Remember - I show my vagina to anyone in a white coat (pharmacists are tricky...I'm always tempted).
You see, friends, my problem is that I am kind of fat.
Here is how I deal with fertility treatments:
Except instead of a carrot, I'd be gnawing on a block of Velveeta. And instead of a cute hamster, I'd be a fat infertile whiney pain in the ass.
Yes, I gained 4 pounds during each In Vitro, and two pounds since I found out I was pregnant. I am up 10 pounds. In addition, my ovaries are the size of apples, my uterus is the size of a grapefruit, and my abdomen is filled with fluid from being over stimulated.
Yes, there's a baby in there, too. But it is the size of a grape this week.
I am just FAT.
If you read through my blog these past few months, I do not deny being fat. My pants don't fit. My stomach looks like I've been excessively hitting the keg stands and then enjoying several runs to the border for a nice burrito.
Recently, I went to a party and someone came up to me and said, "Oh, look at you!" and then touched my belly.
Would this be less annoying if I was, say, 30 weeks pregnant with a giant belly and a pregnant waddle? I believe so.
But since I am barely pregnant, and not showing at all, not so fun.
Would you walk up behind someone at a party and grab their back fat and say, "Oh! Look at you!" I think not. (If you would, you should tape it and put it on You Tube)
I generally don't like people touching me anyway. Hugs from friends and family? Fine. But hugs from strangers? Um, no. Arm around my shoulder? Ack! Die!
In actual pregnant person news, I am 9 weeks today. Since I cancelled my OB appointment with Dr. "Relax" I don't have another appointment until 8/11. This time I am going to a place with midwives, which I've heard are awesome.
OK. It's 7:26 and past my bedtime.