Wednesday, September 3, 2008

You May Call Me Snotty McBloody-Boogerson

It appears that I have developed a bit of a problem with snot and phlegm. A problem, as in, I have both and can’t get rid of them, and sound like a disgusting germbot.

To make matters worse, I am afraid to ever blow my nose, because every once in a while I will get a raging nose bleed. And since I spend most of my time away from home these days, I am a bit hesitant to blow my nose seeing as I may create a faux murder scene.

With my luck, my nose blood would land right beside an actual murder victim’s blood at an actual crime scene, and I will go to jail for a murder that I didn’t commit because of the advances in DNA technology. I’m sure the victim would end up being fertile, then my blog would just end up being proof of my rage and indecency at trial.

You see, it’s best if I keep my snot in my nose, where it can form bloody crust boogers and make me sound like one of those annoying nasal talkers. Or a person with a cold who refuses to blow her nose, but instead sniffs snot all day long and drives you CRAZY.

24 comments:

Annegirrl said...

Ah, the bloody noses. I remember those. So much fun!

alison said...

Dude I'm so with you. Not on the bloody nose part, just on the phlegm and crap in my throat/nose/lungs every morning from the time I wake up until 1pm. I cough and gag and hack trying to get it out. But sometimes I feel like I'm coughing so hard the baby is going to come flying out of my mouth. This can't be good.

Meghan said...

Have you tried the saline nose spray? Really helped with my bloody noses that popped up in the first tri and now again at the end. I was pretty much also hunched over snorting some ;)

Mrs. Higrens said...

I'm all about the Mucinex.

It's on my doc's list of okay meds so I don't feel funny about recommending it. But your doctor may differ.

IUI #2 Tomorrow. Wish me stickies!

Sarah said...

Or a neti pot. they look and sound like torture devices. But every patient that has purchased one from us, SWEARS by them.

http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100095&navAction=jump&navCount=0&skuid=sku3355404&id=prod3356564

This is one of the kinds we sell. The most popular anyway.

PS...I am NOT computer savvy..so that link...well it might be a dud. But you can google Neti Pot.

Aunt Becky said...

Oh sister. When I had Alex, I used to joke that I still got my period, just out of my nose this time. It was not pleasant and I could never go too far from home, lest I erupt.

I am a sexy pregnant bitch. I know it.

battynurse said...

oooh. Yummy. Hope that gets better soon.

Jen said...

I had a pregnancy induced bloody nose when I was sleeping, at 3:00am, and before I woke up enough to realize, I had spread blood on every single piece of bedding we have.

mrsyak said...

So glad those days are behind me now! I recall with intense disgust how the blood crusty boogers would crust around delicate upper nasal hairs and cause intense pain.

JenM said...

Ew! Something else to look forward to. I'm glad you found something else to rant about because I love your blog updates :-)

Io said...

OR...this post could be you setting up to murder a fertile by writing your defense in advance! Ha! I am ON to you!

Anonymous said...

I had a stuffy nose every day from conception to delivery, every time I was pregnant. And bloody noses as well. One thing that helped me were 'Breathe Right Nasal Strips'. I hated the difficulty breathing at night due to the stuffy/swollen nose. These things are like little bandaids that you put on the outside of your nose and they just kind of hold your upper nostrils open a bit more and really do help you breathe better. I found that putting one on every night helped be sleep better and not snore so much. PLUS, it made me look dead sexy :)

Natasha said...

i dont have bloody noses...

BUT...

I am stuffed up and when i go to blow my nose it makes me physically sick. So i have to becareful WHERE i blow my nose (never in public and never far from a bathroom - just in case!)

This_Cross_I_Embrace said...

Uck, I HATE snot-sniffers!!! Don't ever become one, or I'll have to stop talking to you.

hopeful #1 said...

That sounds awesome!!!

Ha, kidding!! This season is driving everyone's noses crazy!

Dreamer4agift said...

Lol. I'm sorry you're feeling miserable, but the idea of the faux murder scene somehow being related to your rage at the fertiles, well, it makes for a good giggle in my day.

Here's to hoping the snot goes away soon!

alicia said...

haha! I love your imagination!!!

nicole said...

the exact same thing started happening to me around that point. at one point, i couldn't even breath it was so bad. i became a slight mouth breather... the worst. luckily it's mostly gone away by now. though i still get the occasional nose bleed.

sarah23 said...

Yes, I have had the blood noses. Most recently, today, in fact. I hope that you can get them to stop.

Just wait til you get to the heartburn and round ligament pain part!

Pink-CJ said...

Ha ha! Gross! I feel you though. I have the same thing!! :)

Dana said...

Ugh I remember that with Simone and I slightly have it this time around too. The crazy thing is that as soon as you give birth, your nose will clear up FINALLY - it's the oddest thing.

Sorry you have pregnancy snot - it sucks :( (or blows as the case may be)

Anonymous said...

Awesome insight into your fertility treatments/pregnancy! I love reading your experience. Someone needs to keep it humorous. I have fertility treatmetns with Dr. "Oh, Who are You" and RN "I really hate my J-O-B" It's been a frustrating experience. I wish I had a Dr. Fabulous. Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

Awesome insight into your fertility treatments/pregnancy! I love reading your experience. Someone needs to keep it humorous. I have fertility treatmetns with Dr. "Oh, Who are You" and RN "I really hate my J-O-B" It's been a frustrating experience. I wish I had a Dr. Fabulous. Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

I am with you on the bloody noses. I'm convinced there is widespread workplace gossip about me being a coke-whore. There could legitimately be a whole blog about my bloody nose stories...