Thursday, December 18, 2008

30 Weeks: Let's get this low carb party started!

Today I had my appointment with the nurse and the dietitian to learn how to manage the diabeetus. Overall, I don't think it is going to be a big deal. And it's sad how excited I am that I can eat salad dressing that is full of fat and delicious ranchy goodness.

(Yes, I am prepared to eat these words at a later date should I be required to use insulin.)

(Also, I might have to stop calling it diabeetus, because I swear to god I almost keep saying it that way. Wilford Brimleyepper, indeed.)

The nurse and dietitian both seemed to think that my levels should be controlled by the diet, because while I did technically fail the 3-hour, it wasn't the worst case scenario. They said it was more like a D- instead of an F, so the rest of the session was filled with grade bargaining on my part. I got points added for only gaining 19 pounds and for typing out my eating patterns because apparently that type of anal behavior is greatly appreciated by them. I left there with a C-.

All of my tests so far have been in the acceptable range, and it kind of feels like a game - what can I eat that I like and still get a good grade on my test? This is a game with which I am very very familiar. I just usually play like this: what is the least amount I can study and still get an A?

I hate our work elevator. It is painfully slow, which makes for longer than necessary social avoidance on my part because I hate small talk. Especially with strangers. Yesterday was a nice little day despite the diabeetus dealings and I was in a pretty good mood.

So I get in the elevator and of course it stops one floor down. Which is awesome because that puts about 15 seconds more between me and sweet sweet freedom. 15 seconds too many on a normal day, especially so when you're stuck in the elevator with Inappropriate Pregnancy Comment Lady.

You know, it's really overdone, isn't it? The whole blogging about inappropriate comments about pregnancy size? I can't resist, though.

I mean, people have been having babies since THE BEGINNING OF TIME. It's not like something that Apple just came out with that old people can't understand and young whipper-snappers are into. If you exist, your mom got fat, or someone got fat on your behalf. Maybe it looks like I shoved 3 Macs down my pants, but I promise: it's just a real live human being inside my enormous joey pouch. No chance of electric shock or anything.

It should not be surprising to me that Inappropriate Pregnancy Comment Lady took one look at my stomach and asked me when I was due, and then feigned complete horror that I had two months to go, going on to ask if I was having triplets hahaha. Triplets!

I should be over it by now, and I should handle it like a grown up, but I was tempted to ask her if her big fat old lady ass was having triplets, and then point out that I probably weigh less than her despite the fact that I am EIGHT months pregnant. The best compromise I could find was to ignore her the rest of the way down while she asked me questions and made comments about how slow the elevator was. She must've been sweating the look of loathing on my face and began to fear for her life as she considered the speed of the elevator and the sheer mass of my very pregnant and wide girth.

Maybe she was doing math problems in her head? Like, if an angry pregnant woman the size of a freight train is 12 inches away from me and we still have 7 seconds left in this elevator, how much longer can I expect to live?

Tell me - what is the worst comment you received while carrying the sweet miracle of life?

44 comments:

Emily said...

I was still teaching and a tutor (who I didn't know at all) (who was 4'11'' and weighed 250 pounds) asked me when my due date was and when I told her she said, "Oh no. You're WAY to big to got that long." The kicker was that I only gained 18 pounds my whole pregnancy*.

*Don't hate. I gained 60 with my second.

Anonymous said...

My favorite so far has been, when reacting to learning the news that I am pregnant, if this was a "planned" pregnancy.

Huh? Wha? Does it really matter? And so what if it wasn't, you asssmunch!

Pam said...

damn. see, i DID have triplets, and i kept waiting for people to ask if i was going to have twins or something, but i wasn't ever that big, so i never got asked. but wouldn't they have been surprised if i'd said YES? hmmph.

alison said...

I don't understand why people are so stupid with comments to you? (I know this is a rhetorical question. :o) I mean yes you look pregnant, but I don't think you look like you're busting at the seams. People are so stupid!

I wish I would get some normal pregnant comments... people are now starting to look at my belly, and then look at my face, and then look at my belly and I guess just assume I'm getting fat because they don't ask if I'm pregnant. Which I know I should probably cheer about, but like you said, I'm just growing a real live human being in my (apparently small?) joey pouch. I know I'm 5'10" and all, but I swear there's a kicking kid in there who's ready to come play in 10 short weeks. So I guess the worst comment I'm getting is the one I'm not getting, or the ones that say "NOOOOOOOO 10 weeks? I thought maybe you were 8 weeks along?". Seriously stupid people.

Annegirrl said...

I got 2 that I think are tied for the worst comments.

#1a - From a fellow pregnant lady no-less. "When are you due?" I tell her 1 month after her. "Really, are you having more than one?" Um, no.

#1b - From my FIL when he walked in the front door. "Whoa, you have gotten really big!" Yeah, thanks for that and Happy Holidays to you too (I was due in 1 month).

Aunt Becky said...

Hm...

With this pregnancy it's this, "Wow, are you gonna BE BUSY."

Gee. Thanks. Really? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT BABIES ARE LIKE, DO I?

Lauren said...

I work retail, so I always get some real winners who don't know how to keep their mouths shut.

Since this is my second, and a lot of my customers remember when I was pregnant with my first, I always get the "I guess you didn't figure out what caused the first one, huh?"

Plus, when I'm not wearing makeup, which is just about every day now, I look like I'm about 16 years old. So I'm often graced with looks of pity and disgust until I tell people "I'm 23, been married for over 4 years and this is my second baby. And guess what? I had my babies after I got married! Does that make you feel better?!?!"

Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to talk to anyone.

areyoukiddingme said...

Yeah, my best comment came just a few weeks ago, when a coworker asked me if I was pregnant. I got to respond, "No, just fat, but thanks for pointing it out." Maternal reserves...easy to acquire, hard to lose...especially during the second year!

Laura said...

I was at a team meeting in a school when the topic of my pregnancy came up. People were surprised to learn that I was carrying twins and of course the typical question followed: are there twins in your family? When I said no (it was IVF), they then questioned if we were surprised. I said that my husband would have been more shocked if we were only having one. The response from one of the ladies: "is that because you're so huge?" Uh, thanks. I thought that the six others sitting around the table were going to lynch her. No one even knew how far along I was (5 1/2 months - 16 pounds up) but the general consensus was that she was an idiot.

Anabelle said...

I got the whole "you having twins" thing once, and one lady at work told me I was huge! yay... jack asses

hey, here's a great low carb cookie recipe, I made them all the time when I was doing the Atkins thing


They're super yummy :)

http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/204/LowCarb_Peanut_Butter_Cookies47430.shtml

Mel said...

"Are you sure there's just one in there?" (uh, no, not really, I decided to visit an OB who is a real idiot and doesn't know how to read a sonogram. or maybe the other baby is somehow stuck in my intestines or something and I just don't realize it yet)

and

"You look like you're about to pop any day now!"

The relation between giving birth and "popping" is f'ing vile. Why, why, why on Earth would somebody say that? No, birth isn't anything like popping at all, but thanks for speculating on what action is best associated with childbirth. It always makes me visualize that person's head as a balloon and me sticking it with a really sharp needle. Gosh, I would love that.

Brenna's Mom said...

When I was pregnant with my son I went to get my hair cut. When the (male) stylist asked me when I was due I said "Last week" because I was overdue. They look on his face was HYSTERICAL. That man couldn't get me out of there fast enough. I was great.

BrandiH2007 said...

I think the worst so far was yesterday from a co-worker who said "wow, you're getting bigger by the day" Gee thanks, I was hoping no one would notice!

Dreamer4agift said...

Let's see...

When I am asked how everything's going and I mention I am still losing weight instead of gaining, I have been told in very loud, dramatic voices that "oh just wait, you will!!" Gee, thank you for educating me and bringing joy to my life.

Or when I have ppl ask "so, did you have to have any help getting pg or was in natural?" ha, there are so many remarks that come to my head and stop right before my lips open every time I hear that.

I'm sure there are others, and plenty more to come. Stupid ppl are there in the middle of IF, they continue through pregnancy, and even when you're raising your kids...gotta love it...or not, and just decide to eat something instead:-)

An Irish Life said...

After 2 years of assisted trying and several miscarriages, I was pregnant with our first. The number of women who asked me, "Is it a real baby or did you use drugs?" floored me. Umm, real? Yea, he's real. I guess in their minds, we were in a high risk OB practice, the drugs and IUI made him not real. Trust me, he vomited down the stairs last week, at midnight and is kissing all girls in kindergarten. He is real and always has been.

Dre said...

After I had my first baby, I never really lost all the belly fat. Lazy me. So I did actually get two comments when my son was 1 and a half about when I was due, to which I responded "nope, not pregnant, just fat."

Well, now I am actually pregnant again, and a couple of weeks ago (I was 10 weeks), I had some lady (also pregnant) in a store ask me if my baby was also due around Christmas. Nice. Nope, due in June. Way to make the poor fatty preggo lady feel even better. The funny part is, I have been hiding this pregnancy at work and no one knows! They must think I am just getting super fat and are too scared to say anything to me... believe me my secretary would call me out if she thought I was pregnant, she points out my gray hairs to me.

Enjoy having a socially acceptable round belly while you can....

PJ said...

Wow! It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be!

Your belly is beautiful Jen! I hope you know that. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm 4 months along now and not really showing at all yet, still in my jeans. So my wonderful mother-in-law is telling the whole family "Well, she's not really showing yet, but I think it's because she already has such wide hips that she can just hide it well!!" She went on to add, "Don't worry, she'll pop out all over the place soon". Yeah, got to love being told your huge before you even start showing!! By the way, I'm 5'10" and wear a size 8 so you know, not model thin, but not huge!

Denise said...

My favorite comments came when I told people we were having twins. It usually went in this order:

1. Wow, no wonder you're so BIG!!
2. Do twins run in your family?
3. Are they natural?

Here are the answers that were always in my head that I was too chicken shit to let escape my mouth:

1. Thanks, just like your ass/mouth, eh?
2. No, they walk.
3. No, they are made of gumdrops and lollipops.

*~*Lis*~* said...

I got oposite comments when I was having the twins "Wow you're so small. are you sure you're having twins?" or better yet "hopefully nothing's wrong, you're really small".

first let me say I was NOT small - I was huge assed in every way.

second, what was really annoying was the fact that it was the same people that told me how huge i was when carrying my singleton a year earlier.

People are stupid, they see a pregnant woman and immediately think it's ok to insult her.

Mary said...

Hoo boy, where to start? These were all from strangers:

1. "You don't look a day over 18. Aren't you a little young to have a baby? [disapproving glare]" I guess I should have been flattered -- I am 30.

2. "I'm not going to give you any advice. But you have to breastfeed. Have to. For a year. At least." I got the breast-is-best memo a long time ago, but come on, people: my tits are not your business. The only thing I want to hear from you about them is "nice rack," and that's only if you're a straight woman or a gay man.

3. "Let me tell you about my 35-hour labor. Which ended in a
C-section. Did I mention the scar? Here, I'll show you. [pulls down
waistband]" Seriously, I heard horror stories from just about everyone, including two women who labored for over a day and got their babies halfway out before the doctors PUSHED THEM BACK IN and did C-sections. I do not understand why people feel compelled to share this kind of story with me. I'm already scared enough. I mean, if your friend is having her appendix out, you say "good luck, I'll be thinking about you," with either words or flowers, and then you make her a casserole. You don't tell her about your coworker's buddy who went in for an appendectomy and came out with a raging case of MRSA and a mistakenly amputated left leg.

Anonymous said...

I didn't get a lot of the whole weight/size commentary but I did get sooooo much unsolicited advice on the birth and delivery. As if they are obstetricians...

My all time favorite insulting and idiotic comment happened when I my baby was a few months old. We went to the convenience store for some tylenol for a slight fever after he had some shots. Anyway the old lady clerk asked me if I was the babysitter! When I told her "Um, no, Im his mother." She commented that I was too young! As if! I am 27 years old, been married for 6 years, own a home, have a Masters degree, etc. I know it doesnt compare to being 60 and working at the 7-Eleven but it will have to do! Idiots!

Rach said...

I KNOW this person which makes this so much worse.

Me: "Hey, we just thought we'd pop in for some lunch and tell you the good news that we are pregnant."

(Said friend works at a restaurant down the street from us)

Friend: "You're pregnant? One PURPOSE??"

Really? REALLY? He then proceeded to tell me that he guessed that he and his wife were now going to be the last people to get pregnant. Did I miss the memo where creating a family was a race???

Anonymous said...

I'm 33 weeks. My husband posted a 32 week picture of me on Facebook. Comment by his good friend:
"NO FATTIES!!!"
Nice.

Amy, queen of the world. said...

Mine was... "are you STILL pregnant?! HA HA HA!" when I was still showing up to work after my due date, big as a house. It may be funny to people who are NOT pregnant with a week-overdue baby, but it is certainly not funny to the one whose insides are being crushed by said tardiness!

And, "Whoa, you're carrying VERY high!" (yes I know, thank you, I am the one who can't breathe because of my lungs being squished.) ...the baby has to come down before you'll go into labor (really, Columbo?)...and "you don't LOOK 9 months pregnant!" (well I feel 230498 months pregnant, so shut up.) I think I pretty much hated all people while I was pregnant.

Jill said...

Well, I haven't received any wack-o comments yet, but it is merely a matter of time...btw, Wilford would be proud of your diabeetus reference. :-)

Jill said...

Well, I haven't received any wack-o comments yet, but it is merely a matter of time...btw, Wilford would be proud of your diabeetus reference. :-)

Jaci said...

I was so sick while pregnant I basically laid on the couch and never went out in public, so I missed a lot of weird remarks.

I do remember that my stupid in-laws were pretty insensitive, and just couldn't understand why I didn't want to walk around Niagra Falls in 100 degree heat 7 months pregnant. Perhaps because anytime I overheated I passed out? Or maybe because nausea and heat waves and crowds of Japanese tourists don't go together? They were pretty rude and basically called me lazy.

Anonymous said...

Hi. Just wanted to say I happened upon your blog while doing a Google search and just read THE WHOLE THING in like 3 hours. I laughed, I cried. It was like reading my own innermost thoughts - only with a much needed twist of humor. Anyway, I'm not pregnant (been 3 and a half years) so my comment doesn't really relate to this post, but I wanted to say thanks for sharing your journey. It's nice for "Infertiles" to know that were not alone out here. =)

And Congrats, BTW!!!

Lisa said...

Hi. My friend's husband would greet me with "Hello love, my your chest is getting big isn't it?"

As I progressed in my pregnancy he would laughingly comment on how big I was. I put on 11kg and even then was still way smaller than his wife. Of course I couldn't point that out without insulting her needlessly.

This second time round I have managed to lose all but 2kg of preggie weight and his wife is pregnant again...

Oh and also when you have the baby, you'll wish you had $1 for everytime someone looks at your baby and says "oh you forget how small they are".

I swear I have heard that about 100 times in the 5 weeks since I had the baby.

Good luck.

Lisa.

Cindy said...

Unfortunately, I never had a computer and I don't think there were blogs way back when :)
Visiting from SITS

Tricia said...

Here's mine... (Background first... Dh is a twin. Actually he was a clomid twin.. 33 years ago. Sono's didn't exsist so MIL didn't know she had twins until they heard two heartbeats and did an x-ray at 7 months.)

So, MIL is in town last week (I am only 16 weeks) and she keeps telling me.. over and over... that she just knows it twins and that one is hiding behind the other. Surely it can't be one. I am just too big. And she is dead serious. I honestly have no comment for her stupidity.. "No, crazy lady. They have sono's now and I have had 5 already. They are postive it is only one." And I almost cried once and told her how self conscious I am of my size (since everyone keeps telling me I am too big.. only 7 pounds up, mind you) and she continued to repeat her comment the whole visit.

Anne said...

1. From an acquaintance of my husband's (to him, not to me): "Wow, your wife's breasts sure are a lot bigger now!" Nice...

2. Also from an acquaintance of my husband, as he was helping my husband put a door on our new/used fridge, and I asked them if they needed me to steady the door so they could get the door post into the hole: "No, that's ok, since (DH) seems to be pretty good at finding the hole, eh?" I mean--eeeeeeeewwwwww.

3. From my mother's cousin, after we were discussing my plan to have a drug-free birth: "Get the epidural." Well, yeah, thanks for the encouragement!

4. Also annoying, just because it came up 100000000000000000 times: "You're not finding out the gender beforehand? How are you going to shop for baby clothes? What color are you going to paint the room???" First of all, idiot, it's the SEX, not the GENDER. Second of all, there are other colors out there besides PINK and BLUE. Argh.

FSD said...

First, congrats on being able to manage the "diabeetus" through your diet. That's awesome! I would so be like you trying to negotiate all of the things I CAN eat. Nothing like a restricted diet! Ugh!!

As for the inappropriate comments....people really are annoying. I always wonder what measurement they judge us pregnant woman against when making their "you're big as a house" type comments. So annoying!

The weekend before Thanksgiving, my husband and I took pics for our Christmas cards. I was feeling pretty cute with my pregnant belly and all. This lady in the waiting area was beaming and looking at me with such adoration. Then she asked when I was due. When I told her Feb. 18, she was like "really?!" I fully expected a compliment to follow. NOT! She told me I looked as though I was "ready to go any day." Cow! I was so mad.

Then there was the time I sent MY MOM (of all people) a pic of my 22 week preggers belly. She emailed back that I was beautiful, glowing, etc. Later that night she asked me over the phone if I was poking out my stomach in the pic because I looked big. LOL.

alicia said...

ohh grr I am glad I have not gotten any of those yet! I actully am having quite the opposite problem, I am barley showing for being 23 weeks along and NO ONE has asked when I am due etc. They all just assume I drank a little too much beer last night and now have a beer gut. But i know, I need to stop complaning, cause I am lucky and blah blah. So I am done.

sorry about the cow lady though, that is just freakin annoying.

Tiffanie said...

well, i think you look cute!

some asshole at work who knows my IF issues told me i should get a mother's ring when i casually mentioned i needed a right hand ring. i ended it with a fuckyouverymuch. hmmm, maybe i'll write a blog about that too.

Rachel said...

Even though I'm due 2 weeks after you and I've already gained 25 lbs, NOBODY makes comments about my belly. I am 5'8", so it took me quite a while to show-- but now I am beginning to think they assume I am just fat.
A good friend of mine just had her second baby. With the first, she gained 35 lbs (she is about 5'5") and nobody ever made comments about her size. She lost all the weight and then some between pregnancies. With the second, she had the diabeetus (which she very carefully controlled via diet) and she only gained 15 lbs the entire pregnancy. The "Wow, are you HUGE" comments started at about 6 months that time around even though those of us that knew her were really effing jealous that she looked so fabulously glowy and healthy and beautiful. She was just so small (aside from her beautiful healthy baby belly) that people didn't hesitate to comment. Some people just don't filter anything. Or think before speaking. Ever.

Amanda said...

Just wait until cupcake is done cooking and you're still wearing those maternity clothes for a month (or more!?) afterwards and you get asked when you're due...that was alwayssss fun...

MDZ said...

I didn't have anything to write before this weekend because no one has said anything insensitive to me. But I went to my sister's Hannukah party this past Sunday and her father-in-law greeted me by exclaiming "FATSO!" and opening his arms wide for a hug. Gah. I know it was meant to be a joke, but it didn't sound so great to a woman who is 28 weeks pregnant, has gained 20+ pounds and tries not to look at her ass in the mirror because of the emergence of some major cellulite! I like the "You look beautiful!" comments much better. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I am a teacher and sweet father in law asked me how I was going to explain to the students why I was getting fat. I kindly reminded him that he should never say that to a women especially a pregnant one. I was even more upset b/c I only gained 18 pounds the whole time. Good luck with everything!

Nic said...

Haven't had any pregnancy coments as I am still TTC but being asked when its due when I am not actually pregnant really hurts!

Christine said...

I am a total Swedish decent pasty blonde with blue eyes and my husband is dark Black Irish with jet black hair and green eyes. Our first son has dark olive skin, the darkest brown eyes you have ever seen, and walnut brown hair. Our second was born pasty and blonde like me with dark blue eyes. The nurse actually said to my husband, "Are you sure this one's yours?" while I was popping his head out. YOU look fantastic...don't let annoying elevator lady get to you. Once you have sweet cupcake and take her to work to brag, she'll think she has the rights to hold her - because you two shared such sweet intimate elevator time.

Anonymous said...

At a family party when I was 14 weeks, I went to the buffet for my husband and I, as he was stuck in what I can only describe as an utterly fascinating conversation with this insane 70 year old woman who is friends with my family. So, my plate was pretty piled with food. My cousin (who gained at least 80 pounds with her baby) looked at my plate and announced that it looked like "someone would finally be gaining more weight than she did in her pregnancy."

Karla said...

After spending almost three months on bedrest for PIH (with GD btw, meaning I was laying around in bed bored out of my mind not even able to eat anything with a taste), I got the okay to head out for a quick lunch after an appt. We go to Bob Evans where the 17 year old size -4 hostess looks at me and asks if I think I will fit in a booth.