Oh my god, is it hot in here?
What? No? Hmmm...must just be me...
*rips off clothes and runs screaming down the street*
Yesterday the high was 45, and I rode the entire way home from work with my windows rolled half way down like it was July. You would think I was wearing a fur coat over a full body snowsuit, but I was really wearing a crappy Motherhood shirt and pants and was still giving my Secret Clinical Strength a run for it's money. I did not end up with pit rings but it was a nail biter there for several minutes.
The sweaty hog situation was not enough to stop me from going to the mall to get a dress for my baby showers. I bought a couple shirts to wear but went through much hand wringing over the not-cute-enoughness of them and decided to give in to the witchy ways of old Motherhood Maternity.
The Motherhood Maternity love-hate relationship? It continues.
I bought the first dress I tried on. It's cute and I like it. But I wanted to also buy some maternity tights, because I like to wear tights and I don't care if they make me look like I'm in second grade. So they had 2 sizes: A/B, and C/D. Of course you can't try them on, because MM is a whore. The dirtiest kind of whore, who doesn't allow returns.
The sizing chart was something like this:
Size A/B: 5'0" - 5'4", 100 - 140 lbs.
Size C/D: 5'5" - 6'0", 140 - 200 lbs.
Now. I don't know how to read this...is it your prepregnancy weight? Or, your current weight? Because my height is clearly in the A/B range, and my prepregnancy weight is also in the A/B range. But my current weight is creeping into the C/D range with 2 months to go, and strangely enough I have not grown 5 inches to accommodate the extra poundage. Huh.
So I ask the lady if the weight ranges are prepregnancy or current, and she says, "I dunno, lemme see..." and then after a 10 second examination, she declares, "Current weight!"
Hmmm...I feel an argument coming on. I almost start to feel bad for this lady...
My opinion is that the ranges must be prepregnancy weight because:
1.) Their clothing sizes are prepregnancy. If you were a small before, you buy a small now,
2.) Just because I have gained 19 pounds does not mean that I can wear the same size tights as someone who is 5'8". I mean, it's like trying to put one of Santa's elves into the uniform of a sweedish volleyball player. Not.happening. It's not like the 8 inches of fabric is absorbed by my sheer will to wear $14 tights.
Her opinion is that they must be current weight because:
1.) Hi, I don't care if this tights-sizing theory is not consistent, I am telling you that these are current weights and even though I am probably wrong, I am not giving in. Just buy them!
2.) Your belly will absorb the extra inches!
She was not dazzled by my prediction of bunchy ankles and a waistband up to my shoulders. I was not dazzled by her logic of several disappearing inches of fabric. It was disappointing because I really like winning arguments, and she just kind of copped out by saying over and over, "your belly will accommodate the extra fabric."
No tights for me.
Just as well. They'd just make me all sweaty anyway.