Monday, December 22, 2008

Self Diagnosis: I'm being a baby.

Self Medication: Stop it. Immediately.

I had my 30 week appointment today. I was already pissed because I waited for about 40 minutes for the midwife. Fine - I know they get busy and have other patients, etc. But I was the second appointment for the day, and they have thin doors there. SO, that means I heard her entire conversation with one of the nurses about how she is late because she went to the Browns game yesterday (punishment enough, I suppose) and then went out, and was so exhausted that she overslept and it was so cold outside brrrrr! So at the 40 minute wait mark I busted out of my room and asked when she was coming because I HAVE TO GO TO WORK! Surely she thought I had all day free because I looked like a kept woman, with my pilled Motherhood pants and my maternity top that goes down to my mid-thigh because I am suuuuper short. People always make that mistake.

Yes, I was already pissed, which isn't out of the norm because I'm kind of pissy. It got worse though. It seems that I can't use a midwife because I have the 'Beetus. Thanks a lot, pancreas. You're a lazy asshole.

No kidding, I felt like flinging myself onto the floor and throwing a qualified toddler style fit, fists and feet flailing. I don't know why but I seriously wanted to be a baby about it. I even thought to myself: self, you're being a baby and I am rolling my eyes at you right now.

I was planning on skipping the childbirth class, and just letting the midwife help me out with the labor until my sweet, sweet epidural. But, now I am going to suck it up and go to the five week class. It should be fun, since I heard a naughty rumor that they also make the husbands pretend to be in labor and practice breathing. HAHAHA! All I want from Santa is for that rumor to be true. I have the feeling that someone else in our house may feel like throwing a toddler style fit...

The baby is measuring exactly 30 weeks, and I haven't gained any weight since last time. I don't care so much about the weight, but was glad for that report because it means that I'm not yet carrying the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (er...Girl?) in my ever expanding uterus. She is normal sized, and face down, ass up. I was also glad to hear that, because I knew that I saw either a head or a butt moving back and forth across the top of my belly and it was driving me nuts not knowing what it was.

I have to go again next week to report my finger prick results and find out if I have to take any medication. Then again the following week for my 32 week appointment. I don't think it's necessary, I think they just enjoy my company and miss my sparkling personality when I am gone.

15 comments:

Mrs. Higrens said...

Good for you for sticking up for yourself with regards to your schedule - you'd think they'd know how thin the walls/doors are at the office.

(And how thin are they? Barely thicker than the paper gowns they leave you waiting in.)

Yay for healthy babies!

Julia said...

Toddler is better than the b**ch that I've become. Everything sets me off. If hubby unloads the diswaher wrong I go wakco.

Good to hear you don't have big foot growing inside you.

Seriously? - Erin said...

That sucks about the midwife. I would have hoped they would follow you. Mine are keeping me even though I'm now on injectable blood thinners for the rest of my pregnancy. Well, them in conjunction with a high risk now.

My little pumpkin was face down bum up but now he's sideways again. When I saw it on ultrasound I poked him in the bum.

Here's to you and hopefully a lack of meds.

alison said...

Stoopid Beetus, ruins all the fun.

When we pulled up my shirt yesterday for the dr to measure me, his head/butt was sticking like 2 inches out on the left side of my belly. j gasped and goes "WHAT IS THAT?!" I think he thought I had a tumor. Nope, just a wiggly baby. He swims all over in there, I wish he was moving head-down ish, but she said ohhh, no you have 6 more weeks of floating first. Dammit.

PJ said...

I have a favorite seat in the RE's office. It faces the door and I can see through the window in the door what's going on! Yes, I brazenly eavesdrop. But more importantly, they can see me and know that I'm waiting.

That said, hopefully I won't have to use that seat much longer!!! Because after being their patient for over a year and a half, I am SOOO ready to move on to an OB!

I am amazed that you are 30 weeks along! Not that far to go! Hang in there.

Rebecca said...

What a bummer you can't use the midwife! I had GD for my first baby and was still able to use a midwife. I was very thankful that my practice let's us use midwives even when we have minor complications because I try to avoid the Dr. as much as possible.

AJU5's Mom said...

At the practice I go to, even those of us who see a Dr. normally get a midwife half the time during labor. They believe the midwives are actually better for that (although there is a Dr. around in case of any complications). I love my Dr., but I would hate to have to change at that stage of the game!

Aunt Becky said...

My current patience level for that kind of crap is at about a -37. I'd have cut her. No, seriously, I would have.

momofonefornow said...

I love your blog! I know that every time I come over here I am going to laugh my head off.

Hate the beetus and the stupid people. You would think that she would have enough experience with hormonal women that she would have handled that differently.

Paranoid said...

At the risk of giving assvice, I have to ask -- have you considered hiring a doula? It's not as ideal a situation as being able to labor with a midwife, but at least it's better than being relegated solely to doctors and whatever nurse happens to be on duty when you're in labor.

Potential pluses: The doula's only responsibility is to be there for you and to help you cope with labor. They generally cost between $400-700, and it's definitely not too late in the game for you to be looking for one.

alicia said...

so what happens if the midwifes can't deliever your baby?? do they have ob's they assign you now??

sorry about all the bad news, that is super lame. But yay that she is measuring good and is in the correct position!

nancy said...

You'd hate my OB's office. If I wait less than an hour, I consider it a miracle.

I am starting to get freaked out about labor. See, epidurals don't work on me. I got 2 with my 1st and 4 with my second. Never felt any relief. Maybe I should brush up on my childbirth class stuff. Ugh. Labor.

Kristin said...

You have every right to a "pity party" and lame ass people being well, lame assed doesn't help! You should totally give yourself time to feel sorry for yourself THEN remember you have a great support team in place to help you through this.

Go easy on yourself, you can get through this, if I did so can you. Really just with each stage schedule in your "pity party" and then get on w/what you need to do and that's having a healthy baby AND a healthy Momma too.

Gee does it sound like I know what I am talking about? Did it twice. And just for the record neither time did I raise my hand to volunteer for this sucky thing. I was happy to pass on it but NNNNOOOOOO, just blamo right between the eyes. To add more insult, my second pregnancy I needed insulin at 6 weeks and I was allergic to a few of the insulins...a very rare thing, oh yippee fuckin skippy.

If you need a sarcastic support person through this I am here for you, strmonkey@gmail.com

andrea said...

i hate that they make you wait so damn long! no, don't worry, i have nothing better to do today besides grow this baby....

i hope that rumor is true... i will be in heaven!

Lori Rode said...

Hang in there, and welcome to the D club. Let's hope your membership is temporary. You look so beautiful, and I'm so full of baby envy (not to mention youth-envy) that I can hardly type. Keep going, keep on doing whatcha gotta do to grow that beautiful child.