Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Totally judging myself today.

If I saw me out in public today, I would guffaw and probably utter something along the lines of: what a train wreck.

I left the house this morning already irritated at my clothes. Because they have the nerve to not fit around my body. I can take some of the blame for this problem, because I refuse to buy any more maternity clothing than I have already, and what I have already is not much. In addition, I am trying to wear as many nonmaternity tops as possible so that my 7 maternity shirts won't wear out in the next two months. But! Still! Stupid clothes!

Basically, I spent so much time trying on my teeny tiny prematernity shirts that I didn't have time to put on makeup or, apparent to me much later in the day, brush my hair? I noticed a giant loop of hair sticking out of the top of my head that I missed when haphazardly pulling my hair into a pony tail. And I'm not talking morning realization here. I'm talking afternoon, talked to a bunch of people, looked like a hobo for half a day realization. Like walking around with a booger in your nose all day.

My motivation to groom isn't the only thing lost. I take my last final tomorrow and am finding it really really hard to give a shit about it. The professor doesn't give anything less than a C+, and since my GPA is high enough, I'd graduate and life would be fab whether I study or not. It's like someone saying, "I'll give you $500 if you study your butt off, or $498.75 if you do nothing." My pride tells me to study and keep my A, and everything else tells me to do other important things like buy baby clothes from Gap and hang them by size, or count the number of diapers I have on stock and possibly rearrange them for the bazillionth time.

This blog entry is turning into the place where petty complaints go to die. I am fully aware. But it's doing a great job of distracting me from studying! HA!

I've been creating scenarios in my head that involve my belly button and its need for clothing. My belly button is super shallow and about 700 inches wide. He is having an inner struggle: stay in or pop out? Like, maybe he doesn't want to pop out because he thinks he will be cold and knows that I won't buy anything to keep it warm because they don't sell those things at Baby Gap. Or, maybe he is rebelling against cupcake by refusing to create more room for kicking because she kicks the belly button constantly and he is pissed.

(I don't know why my belly button is masculine.)
(I don't know why I imagine my belly button to have internal struggles.)
(I don't know why I blog about it.)
(Really, folks, I just generally don't know anymore.)

23 comments:

Karol said...

I think you need to get your pregnant arse off this computer and study!! I also say, you're going to have to break down and buy a couple shirts. Most of them do last, I had a BUNCH that I could re-wear with my second pregnancy.

BTW- Your pictures are too cute! You look great!

alicia said...

awe, just a lame day hey? But yay for last final! I say screw studying, but I am sooo the wrong person to ask about that!

Ohh so exciting that your belly button is going to pop! Can't wait for the pics of that!!

B MoM said...

I think I tell you this everytime I comment, but You Crack ME up! Everytime I read your posts. I'm one of those people, so super NOT PREGNANT and thus superly duperly envious of preggo people and so typically, you'd think I'd automatically hate you b/c you're pregnant, but nope, I love your blog and continue to follow it. It's hilarious. thanks. =)

JuLi-ElLe said...

You blog because you know that the stresses of the day must come out somewhere and since you don't want them to come out on your dear husband, you give them to us. Alas, all is not lost. We do not mind your venting. We find it rather, entertaining.

I am sorry your clothes were being a total Bi-otch today. They deserve the axe, or to be sent to their closet with no pocket lint for a week!

Also, please tell your poor belly button that if he needs it, WalMart has Zoloft for $4.

Lastly, you look so freakin cute @28wks!!!!

Dora said...

Isn't there anyone in the blogosphere who can send this woman some hand me down maternity clothes? That's what I'm counting on.

Sue said...

I love your blog. You are hilarious!!

Sue said...

I love your blog! You are hilarious.

Sally said...

Hi. This is my first comment on your blog, though I found it a while ago. I have 1 year old twins, so I got HUGE when I was pregnant (like, the XL maternity shirts still showed belly, and I was a size small pre-pregnancy). I, too, tried to wear non-maternity clothes as long as possible, which I totally regret because 1) I had to buy maternity clothes anyway and 2) now all my cute nonmaternity shirts are STRECHED OUT. sucky.
Love your blog.

DeloresMelon said...

I do so hope you're already interviewing nannies.... because if you pull some shit like "oh I couldn't blog this month because of the baby...." or " well the baby needed to be fed, a lot, and I wasn't able to blog..."...
you kennel that bitch and make with the blogging.
yeah, I'm lovin your blog.

Bekah said...

Lurker for a while, Fan Forever! I LOVE YOUR BLOG! The sting of infertility is painful but just to watch you and cupcake grow and blossom gives me such hope for our future. Keep those insane posts coming! Laughter truely is the best medicine.

Crystal said...

I'm thinking that maybe I should not buy cupcake presents and maybe buy you maternity shirts?!?! Of course I really want to buy for cupcake... you can always wear Marks shirts...

can't wait to see you!!

Tiffanie said...

yea, well, i walked around the hospital today from 7a to 9a with my fucking zipper down.
fuck.
do you have ANY idea how many people i saw and talked to?

Mrs. Higrens said...

Who else would have thought up belly button dialogue?

Even your petty complaints are funny.

Jill said...

Jen-as always, you make me laugh. Hope the belly button issues get a little better. :-)

BTW, I love your little slideshow over on the side with your belly pics!

Anonymous said...

You can pick up used maternity clothes from eBay or Craigslist. You'd be amazed how many clothes you can get for a cheap price. Go. Look. You're only going to get bigger from here on out. Much bigger. You'll feel better about yourself if you have clothes that fit.

Kim said...

You have a ways to go, buy some clothes! Target usually has some cute maternity stuff, and Gap isn't half bad if you get stuff on sale. Ann Taylor Loft maternity is also usually on sale and you can find discount codes on the web. I got a bunch of cute tops and a few basic cardigans and that went a long way.

Otherwise it's going to be 8-10 longggg weeks, most of which you'll probably spend freezing with your belly poking out from your too-small tops :O).

PJ said...

700 inches long! Good gawwwwwwwwd! :)

I hope that whole internal struggle thing all works out!

Glad you're almost done with school. I'm sure that'll be a huge relief!

Bekah said...

And when Cupcake arrives, you will be lucky to brush your teeth by 8 at night. All hail to maternity leave! I do not put on clothes. I cannot brush my teeth. I cannot brush my hair. No shower. No deoderant. I do not answer the door. And I am really okay with that.

Peach said...

We got a delivery here for one "Jenepper". Two awards need to be picked up at my blog - it's the most recent post.

Congrats...and um...sign here...

X___________________________

JenM said...

The test is over. You and cupcake both deserve new clothes I say! And walking around like that most of the day sounds like practice for mommyhood to me.

Julia said...

That's why I get dressed in the dark. Sorry you had such a bum day. Hopefully after the finals you can get your stuff together.

Yias Yias Girl said...

Buy some maternity clothes! You'll feel so much better. :)

Cammie said...

popping in from SITS! Congrats on your pregnancy!