And can I poke you in the eye with it? Or possibly just shove it up your ass?
I had my first shower this weekend, and it was fantastic! We got so much stuff for the baby, and it really was a lot of fun. Cupcake is a lucky, lucky girl. We have two entire closets full of baby stuff and another shower next weekend. I'd say we're ready! I can't believe how generous people are! We had lots of cupcake things there and it was so cute. I even got a set of cupcake pajamas and robe just for me.
The comments about the bigness are really, really annoying. Not the, "Oh, your belly is growing and you look cute" comments. But the, "Wow, you look huge, and I just saw you a few weeks ago and you looked huge then but NOW?! I know I asked before but really, are you having twins? Because you are huge. Did I say that already?" And the more subtle but equally rude, "Do they think you'll go a little early based on your size?" And my favorite - asking for proof that the string used to judge the How Big is Jen's Belly Game is actually my belly because it looks way too small and there is now way that it would fit around THAT hoss of a mother-to-be.*
Nothing like feeling like you are at your roast instead of your baby shower! I can fake amusement at the first few "jokes," but I reach my limit at three and then just start to be rude back. So mature, I am. Always bringing it with the maturity. Luckily my mom and sisters-in-law were there to help me keep my sanity, and to laugh at all my snark.
I don't see why it's a shock that I am big at 32 WEEKS PREGNANT. As in EIGHT OUT OF NINE MONTHS PREGNANT. I'd like to see the yardstick that people are using to make their judgments on pregnancy size. I'd like to see it. And hold it. And swat at people with it. Maybe poke some people in the eye with it. Possibly whack a few shins. Stuff like that.
But! 32 Weeks! 33 Weeks tomorrow, actually. And since I am diabetic and speshul, I get to go to the doctor again tomorrow, and every week to have my glucose monitored. A true overachiever in the OB department. My fasting glucose levels were waaaay too high, even though they fell within the range given to me by the dietitian. I'm just too sweet. (Except when I am hitting people with yardsticks.)
I ended up being put on Glyburide by a hilarious new (and very good looking) doctor who won me over by telling a boob joke. I would totally tell the boob joke, because it was funny, but it had to do with someones last name being like our last name, and that is just way too Google-able for me. But it was funny, and now poor Mark will have to sit through appointments with this new hot funny male doctor as apposed to his beloved hot Suzie. (He will probably live.)
Cupcake was measuring right on time, so the doctor didn't think that I was growing the female Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Or, not yet, as he said. Very comforting. My belly measured at 32 centimeters, which is right on for 32 weeks. And I have gained 19 pounds, which is the same as the past few weeks, but nobody seems worried so neither am I.
I've read about 40 katrillion blogs about new years resolutions. So, how are we all doing on the new years resolution front? I didn't resolve, so I am doing great! It's a no fail plan, really. I just set the bar so low that it is impossible for me to underachieve.
Be honest - how many of you have fudged just a little already?
*The best part of this story is that the person who was brave enough to say it, was also brave enough to put it around her waist as proof that lo! The string is too small! Her waist was the same size as mine, not pregnant. So, I win, I think.