Last night, my last New Year's Eve as a nonparent, I did the following:
Filled out my entire Belly Book, complete with pictures.
Watched 3 hours of the Dog Whisperer marathon.
Went to bed at 9:30.
I think I'm really over that point in my life where I feel like I need to GO OUT! and DRINK! on new year's eve. I'd rather be at home, eating delicious food and hanging out with Mark and maybe a few friends.
2008 was a stellar year. Unlike 2007, I wish 2008 no ill will, sexually transmitted diseases, or urinary tract infections.
Truth be told, I feel a little sorry that 2008 is over. I won a cruise, and went on two fun vacations. I made it through two IVFs while going to work full time and finishing my graduate degree.
I got pregnant.
I stayed pregnant.
It feels almost impossible to top 2008.
And? I'm a little intimidated by 2009.
The thing is, I've been making all sorts of excuses for putting up with all kinds of things. Or, maybe I should say that I've been just kind of accepting things the way they are instead of working toward making things the way that I want them because I am still in school/doing fertility treatments/pregnant/only 28/would rather eat chicken wings.
My excuses are just that. Excuses. All of the situations that I've been using to justify my laziness are pretty much gone and I have no reason to still be unhappy about my career/not being pregnant/feeling like I'm too young/being fat and physically lazy. I don't really have any reason for sitting on a big pile of goals, but I am terrified of not being able to improve all of the things that I've been putting off due to said excuses. Afraid of failure, really.
And the biggie: parenting. Motherhood. Scary. I feel clueless - about birth and what to do after. I'm sure I will figure it out, but still. I've been worrying about it more and more lately. I think it will be amazing, and I think it will be harder than I can even imagine. I hope that I will do a good job. I can't wait to meet our little Cupcake, and I just hope that I can be all of the good things to her that she already is to me.
What about you? Anyone else just a little intimidated about whats to come in 2009?
Or are you leaving behind an asshole of a 2008 and ready for a new start?