Monday, January 4, 2010

Imagine me shouting dirty things at you as you walk by...

Because I'm doing a little construction, blog-wise. 

And I like to yell dirty things.

I'm afraid I am going to pull the Woe Is Me, Olivia Kept Me Up All Night, Bring Coffee card.  I probably slept a total of 3 hours last night, and those hours were in the glider holding a whiny miserable teething (or not) baybee while my neck nearly snapped in two.  Followed by work, and a workout because holy hell my pants simply do not fit.

I planned to write about my new year's goals, but woe and tired and death.  And coffee breath.

What I'm trying to get at is that it is one of my new year's goals to write more on this blog.  And for everyone's sake, I hope it results in better quality than this horrible pile of brain vomit.  But today you get brain vomit, and hopefully it isn't contagious.

So, perhaps I will get to my point sometime this century, eh?

Maybe If You Just Relax has a Facebook Page, and you can be my Best Friend Forevah (on Facebook) by clicking here.  Post on my wall, stalk my normal person page, or suggest blog topics.  You can tell me you hate me, but that's not nice and also I don't give a shit.

I had to put word verification back on the comments because I was getting all sorts of VIAGARA MICROSOFT SEND ME YOUR BANK INFO AND GOOD DAY SIR types of comments on all my archives.  So, yes.  It's assholey, but it works and that is all.
 
I changed my header, added a signature, and plan to add links to past years posts every week.  This is mostly for my amusement.  My grandma writes in journals every day - has for many many years - and I love it when she calls with a funny story about me being completely adorable or possibly inappropriate when I was 5 or whatever. 
 
So that explains the links.  Now you will be able to sleep tonight.
 
Hopefully I am able to sleep tonight, too.  One more sleepless night and I might start sending out VIAGARA MICROSOFT SEND ME YOUR BANK INFO AND GOOD DAY SIR emails just to stay awake.


21 comments:

GeekByMarriage said...

Why yes, I would love to add inches onto MY penis. Thank you for noticing!

areyoukiddingme said...

There is nothing better than zombie day at work, after your little one pulls an all nighter! I'd have skipped the workout, as I'm a lazy ass and there are always bigger pants. You have my undying admiration.

Nice renovations!

Crazy Sister said...

Bummer about the (maybe) teething. Perhaps all 20 of her teeth will bust through at once and you can sleep through every night for the rest of your life...

The Coach's Wife said...

I'm digging the new header. It's preshus.

Erin said...

Hey, I happen to like your brain vomit. Its funny to look at, easy to clean up, and kind of tasty too. Keep the vomit comin'!!!

Mandy and Jack said...

"You can tell me you hate me, but that's not nice and also I don't give a shit."

Hahaha. I love your brain vomit.

Stephanie said...

I'm new to your blog and I stayed up WAY too late one night reading (ok, skimming) most of it and I just think you are the bees knees! Just thought I'd say hi!

-Stephanie

Max's Mommy said...

Okay, so I found your blog a few weeks ago. But this week, for some reason, I decided to start from the beginning and am up to June 2008. So I just read that link TODAY. Weird.

Also, I swear I'm not a stalker.

Kahla said...

My baybee was on the same page as yours last night, sucks. Hoping that this is not her New Year's resolution - more awake time w/mom, even if it is a night. Blech. May tonight be much better for you (and me... just sayin').

Crossed Fingers said...

I have issues staying asleep and there is no baybee to blame! I'm hoping once I start working out again I'll be able to sleep correctly again. My brain is vomiting too but due to my own crappy sleep patterns. :(

Anonymous said...

Do you know that bothers me about you? You talk about yourself as though you weigh in the 400's and can barely manage to walk because OMG the weight is too much. But, really... you weigh less than 140 and probably wear a size 6.

Get over yourself. We both know you are not actually a fatty.

Mrs. Higrens said...

Better brain vomit than the other kind. Just saying.

I refuse to believe that adorable, sweet, perfect Olivia was the reason you didn't get much sleep - you really have to stop crashing the frat parties and hogging the beer funnel. It's just not cool.

Jen said...

Come on anonymous, sign into Blogger and insult me like a big girl.

Erin said...

Hey Anonymous, you know what bothers me about you? You're kinda acting like an asstard. So get over yourself. We both know you really aren't that awesome.

Good Egg Hunting said...

How boring would you have to be if your favorite hobby is writing bitter anonymous comments on a funny blog? And who cares if you want to say you're fat? Jen, you can talk about how fat you are all day long if you want to -- the rest of us think it's funny. Also, I plan to join you once I squeeze this baby out.

Anyway, wishing you a happy 2010, beginning with a better night of sleep tonight!

OperatorGirl said...

I'm right there with you, my preshus was up 300 glorious times last night with the teething monster. The teething gods are displeased with me for some reason. It's been two months, please let them pop out already. For the baby's sake, of course. Let's think of the baby here...

This post makes me all nostalgic and shiz, since it was the VERY post that I discovered you on - Threatening to Learn People With a Measuring Stick. I had googled 32 weeks pregnant, cuz I was 32 weeks pregnant (obviously) and found your blog. I had never seen a blog before (color me sad, or perhaps technologically inept) and you are the reason I started my very own. Aw. *tear*

Thank you for giving me hilarious posts to read on my Blackberry late at night, and wake my husband with my laughing. He really likes it when I do that.

mollym said...

ooh, my fun verification word is worola!

I feel like I am becoming a stalker, cause I found you through a friend on crackbook, I mean facebook, and then spent 3 days reading all your old posts. It's good to look back and see how far you've come! I also would like to 'learn' some people with a measuring stick~ why let nuns have all the fun?

I like that you're solving to write more, cause you make me laugh. I resolved to write my daughter letters each week and remind her of the times she kept me up all night and I survived on coffee (like today, but no teething, she's 6 weeks and prefers to scream at mommy for hours at night instead of sleeping, cute baybee!)

Enough of my word vomit, but I like yours.

latebloomer13 said...

Sorry about your rough night. Sadly, I even love your brain vomit. I love your blog because each time I visit, I am guaranteed to laugh my butt off. Dealing with IVF, I need all the laughing I can get. For that, I thank you!

andrea said...

kneppers gone all global-internet! LOL

i think O and G were talking by way of cuyahoga falls b/c she was up a lot last night too.... and the few before that - BUT that damn tooth has finally shown it's face!

Alyssa said...

I don't know why, but comment wars always crack me up. I probably would feel differently if it were my blog. Or not. Whatever.

Lauren.Furrer said...

Ms. Anonymous is bothered by anything that isn't fried and covered with cheese.