Monday, February 15, 2010

No Longer Single Momming It.

I've been waiting for him to come back to tell The Internet, but Mark just got back from a three week business trip in Baltimore.   And I restocked my fridge with Bud Light Lime.

Not that anyone cares enough to come to my house and kill me because I called myself fat on The Internet, or because I go to work.  But, you know, there is a distinct possibility that I could end up with flaming bags of feces on my porch and then I would have to use my new shovel to put out the flames.

(Mark would like you to know that I had to use my shovel to clear our driveway when we got three separate blizzards during his business trip.  He finds this to be amusing.  I find it to be amusing that I am going to punch him in the weiner when he isn't expecting it.)

This business trip started the day before Olivia had her ridiculous seizures and was admitted to the hospital.  It ended Friday, the day before Olivia's first birthday party.  And while we got an obnoxious amount of snow in Northeast Ohio, it was nothing compared to the FIVE FEET of snow in Baltimore.  Nothing is more infuriating than the desire to throat punch an Alberta Clipper, because snow storms don't have throats and my Go Go Gadget Arm is not long enough to reach Baltimore.  Good thing he was able to get home, because I would have been a total twatwaffle baby if he wasn't here for Olivia's first birthday weekend.

But the point is: OMFG U GYZ, WUZ SINGL MAHM! 

I survived.  Olivia survived.  Baxter and Milo (our dogs) survived.  But, I've got a lot of unanswered emails, a neglected blog, and a Google Reader that has been Marked As Read. 

Olivia hasn't stopped celebrating since Mark got back!  She's totally out of control at this point - here is proof:

Welcome home, Dah-Dee!  Will celebrate by double fisting a cup of Pediasure and a cup of Pear Juice!


 You know what they say: Pediasure before juice, keeps your stool loose...hey! anyone wanna dance?!

 Duuuude!  We should totally get some Taco Bell!  Or, puffs.  Whatever.
Apparently, One is the new Twenty One, and Pediasure and Pear is the new Cosmopolitan.

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One Year Ago:  Got Thunder?

20 comments:

Alisa D said...

Wow... three weeks. That's a long time to fly solo. My husband has to travel for work sometimes as well. We have a 6 month old daughter and when he is gone, it is definitely tough. All that to say... wow! Three weeks! I can't imagine!

HereWeGoAJen said...

I find the lack of company to be the worst. By the end of a couple of days, I find myself begging my internet friends to LET ME COME OVER TO PLAY. Or at least TALK TO ME.

Stace said...

Too cute! Celebrate Olivia!!

areyoukiddingme said...

I feel your pain - my husband was working out of state for the last 3 years - since our daughter was about 8 months old. He's home now, and life is so much easier.

mrsarainey said...

Ahhh 3 weeks alone? Congrats on surviving that! I wonder how close we live to each other? I'm in NE Ohio too. My 5 month old son Jack thinks Olivia is pretty cute, and he digs her pear-pedisure martini habit.

Beth said...

I don't know how you did it!!! Congrats Mama! And from a Baltimore native - I'd like to punch the storms in the non-existent throat as well... I don't need a gadget arm, but I do need the storm to have a throat.

p.s. it's snowing here. again. shoot me.

*~*Lis*~* said...

Wow 3 weeks? The longest I've done solo was a week - but I've got 3 kids so maybe it's even? :) I find myself more productive when he's gone - when there's no one to talk to once the kids go to bed I start doing things like ripping down wallpapr. So He loves it when he comes home and has to finish the project!

Awesome pics as usual - she's just a big ham for the camera!

Crossed Fingers said...

Wow - three weeks would be really hard - esp with what you were going through with Olivia. And I'm sure your DH was frustrated he couldn't be there with you during it. Glad you guys are one big happy family again. Thanks for the awww worthy pics of Olivia!

PJ said...

Three weeks! Geeez! God love ya! I know you're both glad he's home.

I hate the fucking snow. I think we're at somethng like 58 inches for the year and we usually get 15. On snow day #11, which means all of those make up days will be during my fun 3rd trimester-you know, when I'll be really into working. Gahhhh!

Parsing Nonsense said...

If Pedialyte and pear is the new cosmo, why isn't she falling out of her carseat while insisting that she's totally not drunk you guys, just a leeeeetle bit tipsy?

Erin said...

Weiner punches!! My favorite!

Ah geez, Livie Poo looks so cute gettin' her drink on.

Happy Husband Back At Home Day. He definitely OWES you. A big fatty treat, some Taco Bell, and pretty much whatever you want for the rest of your life.

Hilary @ Closer to the Heart said...

I feel your pain as a fellow Northeast Ohioan! I am really impressed that you shoveled the driveway all by yourself because I am obviously a wimp. We have a dinky snowblower that only works when there is less than 4 or 5 inches on the ground. I tried to shovel the driveway myself during the first snowstorm and there was NO WAY that was happening! What bad timing :) I love the comment about the wiener punch. I love the twatwaffle comment too. How do you do that thing with the words where they are crossed out? I love it. I am going to try this on my new blog, (the one no one is reading)if I can figure out how.

Clair said...

The nights are the worst for me when my hubby is gone on business. I can't sleep. I am positive that someone is breaking into my house every five minutes even though I double lock every door and we have an alarm system. Plus if the house caught on fire how would I get three kids and a cat out by myself???!!

Loving Olivia's brown and pick outfit - she looks too cute.

Kelly said...

That is a long time to single mom it...way to soldier through! Your blog was recommended at Connect MEme Monday! I am your newest follower! Really love your blog btw!

http://www.thepursuitofmommyness.com/

JenJen said...

I love your sense of humor. It is so important to keep your chin up when the man is away. My husband's been deployed twice...the first deployment was 12 months, the second was 15 months. They were the hardest days of my life...he missed our lil' lady's birth, birthdays, you name it. It can be so challenging....but you made it! It really makes you appreciate all those annoying things about your man. Well. At least for a few days after he's returned. HA!

Law Momma said...

I passed along a treat for you at my blog. Congrats! (also, despite the title, there is no candy. Sorry.)

Kelly said...

hey girl...just wanted to let you know that your blog was recommended at POM's Connect MEme Monday! I'm already following but thought you'd want to know!

http://thepursuitofmommyness.com/

ABLynch said...

Wow! That was a lot to go through as a single mommy!! I think you just might be my hero!

Oh, and I'd like to punch Baltimore in the throat since I live in the city and they STILL haven't plowed my road! Hope Mark enjoyed his visit!

Elizabeth said...

Hi neighbor! I've been reading your blog for a couple weeks now (found you through A Baby? Maybe's) and love it! Didn't know you were in NE Ohio, I'm in the snow belt too! My son is just a little older than your Olivia, he was born right before Christmas. Just stopping by to say Hi!

jb said...

Baltimore snow also left me a single mom ... my husband works for BGE, the local electric company. Didn't see him for over a week! The only bright side of slow plows was a week off of work. Spent the whole time playing with my daughter! Sorry Bmore sucked a big one for ya!