I've been waiting for him to come back to tell The Internet, but Mark just got back from a three week business trip in Baltimore. And I restocked my fridge with Bud Light Lime.
Not that anyone cares enough to come to my house and kill me because I called myself fat on The Internet, or because I go to work. But, you know, there is a distinct possibility that I could end up with flaming bags of feces on my porch and then I would have to use my new shovel to put out the flames.
(Mark would like you to know that I had to use my shovel to clear our driveway when we got three separate blizzards during his business trip. He finds this to be amusing. I find it to be amusing that I am going to punch him in the weiner when he isn't expecting it.)
This business trip started the day before Olivia had her ridiculous seizures and was admitted to the hospital. It ended Friday, the day before Olivia's first birthday party. And while we got an obnoxious amount of snow in Northeast Ohio, it was nothing compared to the FIVE FEET of snow in Baltimore. Nothing is more infuriating than the desire to throat punch an Alberta Clipper, because snow storms don't have throats and my Go Go Gadget Arm is not long enough to reach Baltimore. Good thing he was able to get home, because I would have been a total
twatwaffle baby if he wasn't here for Olivia's first birthday weekend.
But the point is: OMFG U GYZ, WUZ SINGL MAHM!
I survived. Olivia survived. Baxter and Milo (our dogs) survived. But, I've got a lot of unanswered emails, a neglected blog, and a Google Reader that has been Marked As Read.
Olivia hasn't stopped celebrating since Mark got back! She's totally out of control at this point - here is proof:
Welcome home, Dah-Dee! Will celebrate by double fisting a cup of Pediasure and a cup of Pear Juice!
You know what they say: Pediasure before juice, keeps your stool loose...hey! anyone wanna dance?!
Duuuude! We should totally get some Taco Bell! Or, puffs. Whatever.
Apparently, One is the new Twenty One, and Pediasure and Pear is the new Cosmopolitan.
One Year Ago: Got Thunder?
Two Years Ago: My Aunt Jane Knows More Than My RE