Friday, March 19, 2010

Anywhere, but she doesn't share.

Olivia has an Oversized Anywhere Chair

Its on the top five of favorite things to play with/spill milk on/climb atop/just generally abuse.  She does not appreciate if you sit in her anywhere chair.  It is clearly labeled with her name, afterall, and it is hard to argue with that sort of "MINE" type of evidence. 

But Milo can't read.
I can haz chair?
Like some sort of radar, Olivia senses that a foreign butt has planted on Her Own Anywhere Chair.  No toy can distract her.  Not even a game of peekaboo or an out of place tub can keep her from staking her claim.

Oh no he di'nt...

Move it or lose it, dog.

Mine.

 I feel like we are getting dangerously close to being required to actually...parent.  Which I find to be terrifying.  Up until now, I've been pretty comfortable with the whole Keep Alive part of being a mom. 

Block the dog food so she can't choke?  No problem.
Close the toilet lid so she isn't tempted to dunk her ahead and attempt a self-swirly?  Check.
Break food up into little pieces so they are easier to chew, and to throw on the floor?  Double Check.
Etcetera.

I'm doing a terrible job at teaching her the meaning of No.  Or, maybe just that No is not hilarious.  She's well aware of the meaning of No.  It clearly means: do something not allowed, pause when the mother says no, smile one-tooth smile at the mother, carry on.  Bonus if the mother laughs at the baybee because OMFG SHE IS BAD AND SHE ACTS JUST LIKE MEEEEEE HOW CUTE AND MUSHY!  LOLZ WITH MY HAND OVER MY MOUTH.

So, my point is that Milo should get used to not sitting in Olivia's Anywhere Chair.  Because there is a good chance that I will suck at the Sharing lesson, too.

Also.  You people seem well-read.  So please tell me: what toddler-related books should I be reading?  I loved Happiest Baby on the Block, and the Baby Whisperer. 

What's good for scheming against an adorably sinister toddler?

---

Two Years Ago: March 18, 2006

36 comments:

rachel... said...

You mean we're supposed to read books about parenting?

Toddlers are hard. Mine is currently at the push-the-kitchen-chairs-all-over-the-house-and-use-them-to-climb-to-dangerous-heights phase. I really don't know what to do besides put all our kitchen chairs in storage.

And I don't blame her for not sharing her Anywhere Chair. It's adorable!

Kitty said...

I like the book "Your Baby and Child: from Birth to Age 5," by Penelope Leach. It's really level-headed and gives great advice. I was a Baby Whisperer fan as well, and have enjoyed using this book as my son gets into the toddler years.
And I can completely identify with laughing when my baby does something bad - it's almost impossible not to! I know I'm sending mixed messages, but I can't help it.

areyoukiddingme said...

I haven't read any books - which is probably why my child calls me by my first name and laughs when I tell her she's making me sad. :)

It's so hard not to laugh...

Beth +1 said...

I'm pretty sure there is a "Happiest Toddler on the Block" too if you liked the first one!

Sara B said...

My dog is obsessed with my boy's chair, too. He usually jumps when he sees the boy coming, though, so it hasn't been much of an issue.
I'm currently reading The Happiest Toddler on the Block. We do timeouts, but Olivia is too young for that (we started when my son was about 18 months).

Sara B said...

Oh and that last pic of Olivia with the smirk? Incredibly adorable!!

poppy.f.seed said...

I second the penelope leach, though I am still in the very aptly title 'keep the baby alive' section of parenting.

Mary said...

Oh, thank you. I thought I was the only one whose gentle, mellow little sweetheart had taken the occasion of her first birthday to turn into Evil Baby.

Intelligent Tool said...

My puppers name is Milo too! he he!

The Bowlings said...

Daisy has the same idea as Milo.

[url]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_7YtGuSNrFro/Sn99WOSzqxI/AAAAAAAACj8/7t73FXm7mEQ/2_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800[/url]

Calliope said...

those are such cute photos of Miss O!

As for the "no" thing? W thinks it is soooooo funny when I say it. Ditto for, "that hurts!" Ahhhh...so so funny.

mamakass said...

Happiest Toddler on the Block.
It's good. And it really works. Just like the baby version.
You'll do great. You have to because this is where I get my advice and I need to do great. No pressure.

Kim said...

I recommend Don't Make Me Count to Three and Boundaries with Kids! Good luck!

Mel said...

I am pretty sure there is a Toddler Whisperer, too. Why parent, though? Don't you want to be one of those non chalant moms whose child is grabbing and throwing things at the grocery store and screaming bloody murder and running circles in the pediatrician's waiting office? OR you could be the person who grabs their child really hard like they are a rag doll and smacks the crap out of them in public. I love those moms. They are so awesome.

(We have the same chair and it is also a huge hit over here. The best part is when she walks up it and it tumps over and she goes face first in to the floor. Thank GOD for carpet.)

Alyssa said...

I have decided to henceforth throw out all parenting books. I get too wrapped up in comparing mah preshous to other babies, and how will people know he's a genius if he isn't hitting these milestones way ahead of all other babies?
By the way, Sam totally does that when I say "no." He's developing an almost sinister grin before doing anything I tell him not to do. Evil Genius.

*~*Lis*~* said...

OMFG that face!! How can you not laugh?!

I didnt read any books - maybe that's why when my son kicked one of our chickens I was unable to stop laughing.

R+M+Little Shmu said...

Ok, I'm going to come out of lurk mode for this one. May I start by saying that I LOVE your blog?! I so enjoy laughing every time I read and find your "say it like it is" attitude refreshing. Love, love, love it! :) And Olivia is just adorable - seriously.

I'd really recommend, Parenting with Love and Logic. I'm a teacher, and the Love and Logic for Teachers is fantastic. I'm sure the principles are the same.
Good luck! :)

Molly said...

I have to second the Love and Logic one. Also, as she gets older, I LOVE LOVE LOVE "1-2-3 Magic". We've used it for my son since he was 18 months (now 4 years) and plan to use it for my daughter when needed. There's also a DVD. My hubby didn't want to sit and read the book, so the DVD was great! Good luck!

http://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Effective-Discipline-Children/dp/1889140163/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269049359&sr=8-1

Mom of the Twinkies and Tot! said...

Her smirk in the last picture is priceless!!!

Samantha02 said...

I love your blog! As a nanny, I must agree with you. My twin boys are 17 months and into everything. One of them completely ignores me when I say no, or come here or stop ( to the point I asked his mom to get his hearing checked) The other one stops what he is doing when he is reprimanded, but acts like you just beat him with a belt. He screams and cries and is so offended that I have taken control of a situation.

Anyway an excellent book series is called Positive Discipline for your toddler.

Ktzap said...

We just picked up the Toddler Owner's Manual. My twins are 11 months, but I am trying to plan ahead. Gentle in our house means you smile at the cats before grabbing their fur out!

Anonymous said...

you are a very funny girl. can you pa-leeeze move to van wert ohio and be my next door neighbor. i'm a little bored here. i have a feeling you could spice things up.

PJ said...

ahaha! and... omg, I'm gonna have twins AND my dogs to contend with. :)

Seriously though, sometimes you've just gotta turn around or go in the other room and laugh. Teaching 2nd graders, I just have to walk away when I can't muster the stone cold teacher face. Definitely don't laugh in front of them though! Because you know, they will be all muahhhhhhaaaaaaaa, I'm in control!

LOVE the chair. Hmmm... how cute would it be to have two of those in our living room? They actually look like our slipcovered living room furniture. :P

Lukas, Isaak + Mom said...

I liked "The Vaccine Book" by Robert Sears M.D. although it's not on parenting per se.

Thanks for your blog; you always make me laugh! Olivia is adorable!

kimbosue said...

Miles also thinks "No" and "That hurts" are HILARIOUS!
Gonna have to check the Happiest Toddler as we also loved Happiest Baby...
Love the crooked smiles!

lori said...

i'm enjoying the book recommendations since i have a recently-turned-bad toddler in my house, too. we have the same problem with kitchen chairs, so i have a tip for the commenter who's in the same boat...bungee cord the chairs to each other so she can't pull 'em out. we've had to do that with our kitchen and dining chairs b/c our son uses them to get into all sorts of stuff. it completely pisses off anyone who comes to visit and wants to sit down, but it keeps the LO alive while i am using the restroom, cooking, cleaning, and managing my 4yo. i do have to wait until he's alseep or locked in his high chair to work or play in the internets, though, which is SUPER annoying.

Taryn said...

Your daughter is too cute and I love your blog. It's probably a new mommy thing because I also cover my mouth when my 11 month old does something hilareously wrong or smirks back at me. She even has the "no no no" finger down pat as she waves it at me everytime I tell her no. With a huuge smile. Geeez. I didn't realize I was doing anything wrong until her daycare told me she was compulsively trying to pry their cabinet doors open (which mine are not yet baby locked, but still safe and full of loads of tupperware that can be tossed all over the kitchen) OOPS. I guess that's not so cute. I think I'll be reading some of the above suggestions!

Dana said...

"Girlfriends Guide to Toddlers" is one I recommend, the author has a sense of humor about parenting. I started with her pregnancy books and went onto the first year and toddler editions. My son is 6 and my husband and I still have to turn our heads to keep from laughing at him...

songbird said...

The one I always hear good things about is Playful Parenting.

Lauren.Furrer said...

Good Lord that kid is gorgeous.

JenJen said...

Books are overrated. I tend to watch TV and try to follow whatever Dr. Phil says. His southern accent makes me feel vulnerable and open to criticism.

sheilah said...

I LOVE her expression in that last photo. I would definitely frame that.

Rebecca said...

The best way to parent your child is to read other peoples blogs and either do what they are doing, or do the opposite of what they are doing. Either way, it's still 50/50

Carter said...

I also have a shih tzu, and when my daughter turned 1 and got her PBKids chair, he also tried to take over it. Ava would always push him out, and Charlie, being a typically stubborn shih tzu, would always take great offense.

Luke said...

As i do not have a google account i am using my baby daddy's email my name is Marayna i just joined your fandom on face book

Your daughter has the cutest little smile ...i wish i had a chair like that for my daughter ....if you would like to see my daughter here is a link http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=18749&id=100000151623568&ref=mf to her b-day photos

LLL said...

Love and logic. Start early. My 11 year old is a monster.