Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I pick my schools based on mascots.

My high scool mascot: Potter Pete. 

That's Potter Pete, down there.  What is Potter Pete, you ask?  Well.  He's a kiln.  A KILN.  Because I happen to be from the pottery capital of the world.  Just when you thought I couldn't be any more fancy, right? 


Watch Out!  We're the Potters!  We will burn your asses, and then possibly make a pretty vase.

Please do not worry, Pete does not always look so angry and firey and...kiln-murdery.  Sometimes he looks all brick-faced and friendly, even though he is blowing his top off.  He's either saying that the Potters are Numbah One, pointing to his fire head, or signaling the waiter for his check.


We're number one!  I will burn off the eyebrows of anyone who disagrees!
Check, plz!

My undergraduate college mascot: Pete the Penguin

I had my choice of mediocre state schools.  The world was my oyster.  But how does one move on from the glory of Kiln representation?  HOW?!

With penguin representation, that's how.  You've got to admit, he's pretty bad ass for a penguin.

Watch your back, lest you be waddled into submission, taken back to our igloo, and...trust me.  You don't want to know.  Just be very afraid, and stuff.
* insert scary version of whatever noise a penguin makes *

My graduate school mascot: Zippy the Kangaroo

I seriously could not make this up if I tried.  Kiln, Penguin, and Kangaroo.  A trifecta of ridiculous.  I can't go beyond a masters degree because how could I possibly find another worthy mascot?  It is impossible.


You better hope I don't catch you and put you in mah pouch!  Booooing!

I challenge you to defeat me in my quest to have the most ridiculous mascot resume.  Anyone think they have a more ridiculous set of macots than I?

--

One Year Ago: Le Reflux

69 comments:

Mary said...

Red Elephants and Blue Devils. It's like something out of the bad trip from "Dumbo."

Annabelle said...

I was a Trojan in high school, and then a Quaker in college. That was a bit of a change. Condoms to pacifists.

HereWeGoAJen said...

Let's see, I can't remember most of them (I went to something like eleven different schools) but in college, I was a Mighty Mac. That's right, Mac, short for Immaculata. They didn't even come up with a mascot!

Sally said...

My high school mascot was the Vikings, but only because sometime in the 70's they decided "Rebel" wasn't an appropriate mascot for a mostly-white southern high school.
In college, we had no mascot until right before I graduated. It ended up being a Phoenix, but the other finalists were a gorilla (Wtf?) and a creature I had never heard of before - the manticore. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manticore)
My grad school mascot is the tarheel. I don't really understand it, as it appears to be the foot of someone who has stepped in poop.(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tar_Heel)

I heart wikipedia.

Jessie W said...

Shorty the Shoreman for high school. Any ugly deck worker that obviously took steroids. *Sigh*

Allison said...

In Junior High we were the "Bucking Broncos" and High School we were the "Kicking Mules". Watch out! We kick!

In college we were Rockets. Like that go into space. And we had a mascot that looked like...well you can imagaine.

Bean said...

I just choked as I was trying to read this out loud to my husband while laughing with tears running down my face. I wish I had some amusing mascots to share, but mine are pretty boring. The Black Knights, the Cavaliers and the Blue Devils. Ho hum. All I can say though is that I have hated the colors of every school or team I've ever been on. Swim team = royal blue and bright yellow (gag!)
HS = black and orange (first of all I hate orange and second, who would pick Halloween colors?!)
College = blue and orange (did I mention the orange hating?)
Grad school = royal blue - ick!

Taryn said...

My high school mascot was a sponger. You may ask yourself, "what the hell is a sponger?" I know I did when I moved to Florida. It's the diver who gets sponges. The one that wears that huge, creepy bronze helmet that makes it seem like there is no way they can swim in that. Our only saving grace was that at the time we had a good football team, but I'm sure there were lots of jabs about sponging it up, or tampons. You decide :)

Carrie said...

My high school mascot was a Purgolder. And his name was Peppy. Apparently a purgolder is some kind of cat. But really, it's a combination of the colors purple and gold, which were our school colors. Very original.

Just me said...

One of the colleges in my home state are the Beavers. For real.

erin said...

high school mascot=pope. scarily holy, yep.

Meagan said...

Proud to be the Union Fighting Farmers. In NJ, no less. There wasn't a farm for 50 miles.

Kristin said...

Let's see, I know of an "Acorn" oh feel the burn of an acorn! Your scared right? Then my husband's Banana Slug...from UCSC in Santa Cruz. Yup a hippie Banana Slug that just might slime your ass, oh the terror that invokes just makes me spit milk out my nose!

Does this help you pick out a future school?

areyoukiddingme said...

I'm pretty sure you should go for your Ph.D. in St. Louis, where they have something called a Billikin. I am not sure how to spell it and I don't know what it is. I'm not even sure which of the schools claims it (SLU, or Wash. U, I think).

My college mascot...I'm not sure what our mascot was, but the teams were the Flames. I'm sure you can use your imagination to come up with your own mascot.

Jenna said...

High School - Phoenix (seriously? As in the thing that rises from the ashes?)
College - Horned Frog. Something that people only know as a college mascot and sometimes don't believe is a real animal
Grad School - Roadrunner. Like a freakin' looney toons episode or something!

Richele said...

ok, i'll play ...

ambridge bridgers - as in, a bridge. yes, a bridge. don't cross us!

wayland baptist pioneers - an upgrade from the wayland baptist flying queens. nice.

central michigan chippewas - who had to change their logo from a spear (because that was too hostile and abusive) to a giant flying letter c.

Jill said...

We were the Rockets. And our colors were red and white. Yes, we were red rockets. Ewww.

Danielle said...

HIgh school we were the Flames.. yep Flamers.. thats us.

College -Knights and grad school Huskies (both benign)

Rebecca said...

Wasn't there a Penguin in one of the Adam Sandler movies. Yeah, penguins are scary........I was a Trojan then graduated high school and went to college where I was a cardinal, then went to another college where I was a riverman eewewoooh That was awful

JenM said...

Hmm, yes. I was a Knight in High School (actually, I was part of the Lancer Band, take that), in college a Battling Bishop (who looks like a drunken sailor if you google him) and then my post-grad years, I was a Golden Flash.

Super cool submissions here!

Stacey said...

I too am originally from Ohio! Are you from Roseville by any chance? I know that they were big into pottery!

Emily said...

All of my mascots are super boring, but we do have a local high school whose mascot is the Dots. It gets better though, because they're located in a town called Poca, so they're the Poca Dots. The mascot is a GIANT RED DOT.

JuLi-ElLe said...

I can't beat the awesome trifecta, but I can tell you a story. My DH went to Seaman Highschool in Topeka, KS. Their rival HS, you ask? The Trojans. Can you imagine the newspaper headlines?? "Seaman breaks through Trojans strong defense"....etc. No wonder my hubby is a dick...lol.

Anonymous said...

My college mascot was a squirrel. I don't even think it had a name...

sc-to-ca said...

I also claim a ridiculous mascot resume.
High School- Mighty Matadors
Undergrad- University of California Santa Cruz Banana Slugs, 'fighting banana slugs' j/k we didn't even have a football team
Grad- University of South Carolina Gamecocks, 'Go Cocks!'

Anonymous said...

Um. A Crusader, A Trevian and a Rambler. Sad

allissa said...

I was a colonial, then a roadrunner.. because our track team ran on the road. We like to be creative.

sonkissed531 said...

We were the Chemics in High School. Do YOU know what a Chemic is? Neither did we.. and in college we were the St. Bernards. Fiesty little thing, I tell ya.

manapan said...

High school -- Governors. Because we're from the state capitol and we're desperately lacking in creativity.

College -- Jackrabbits. They actually had to have a competition to de-wussify the mascot my senior year. Strange thing, instead of changing the mascot, they just drew it with muscles instead of fluffy fur.

I can't beat the trifecta 'cuz I didn't go on to grad school. :)

Sarah said...

Dragon, Scottie Dog, Magician, Kangaroo

Fun stuff!

kimbosue said...

BEE, Bulldog, Texan (AKA Yosemite Sam), undergrad started as Indians as in feather, not dot. But after I graduated they renamed them to Warhawks - like an Eagle on steroids - Apparently to be more PC and not offend any true red bloods out there. I guess the Indian - white guy in a full head dress riding on a horse at football games was too much?

Christine said...

Middle School - The Beavers - Goooo Beavers!!! Hmm
High School - Admirals - At least we were the pirates... Beaver Pirates. ha.
College - Volunteers - what? How intimidating! At least we had Smokey the Dog.

kimalli1 said...

High School- Trojans
College- Argonauts

I particularly wanted to stick with the whole Greek thing when I went to college since it worked so well for me in high school. What, doesn't everyone plan their education like that???

ABLynch said...

Wow, my mascot career has been so darned dull!
HS: Raiders (red and gold) boooorrring!

College: The Royals. Ummm... what is a royal? We had a contest during my time at school to decide this and the winner was a wolf in a crown. But the colors were purple and white, and since purple is my fave color it DID have a strong influence on my choice in school!

Grad: Tigers. Again, dull. And our colors? Black and gold...you know, like a tiger.

Mrs. Higrens said...

At one time the mascot at my college had been the Blue Tide, which is oh so much better than the Crimson Tide, especially considering the college started out as a all female school.

Alexis said...

This makes me feel so much better because I thought mine was the worst. My college mascot was a White Mule. Seriously. A sterile horse derivative that is generally used to haul people's shit around. I went to two different high schools and both had a dragon as the mascot. Thank god for that because nothing is more traumatic about changing high schools than having to adjust to a new mascot.

Strawberry said...

A terrapin. Because obviously turtles are very scary and fast.

Jessica Pruett said...

My high school mascot was a Ram. And while I wouldn't consider a ram a ridiculous mascot, for senior prank they put balls on the giant ram statue in the cafeteria. Yes, they are still there! To this day! Because I'm not sure what they made them out of but you can’t get them off without ripping out the entire underside of the poor creature. Imagine staring at a big ol set of balls while you eat lunch. (Another random fact; across the street from my school are strip clubs... we were doomed from the start)

Crossed Fingers said...

My second elementary school mascot was an armadillo - we lived in Texas. In case you're wondering - armadillos were major road kill down there. Plus they roll up into a ball when they get scared. Really fierce huh?

My second middle school (I moved around a lot!) was a wave. A tidal wave. Better than an armadillo but still...a wave?

My dad's high school was a maple leave - pretty fierce as well. Not sure what they would do if they got mad...fall on you?

Julia said...

I was a Panda in high school...the mighty, mighty Pandas!

Anonymous said...

My high school was normal enough, the Mustangs, but my college was an all girls with an associated all mens school, we were the Bennie Blazers...a ball of some sort on fire, and the men were the St. John's Johnnies, and their mascot was a Rat. Kind of indicative of alot of the guys that went there...

Allison said...

High school: Owl. WHOOOOOOO's the best? And our colors were brown and yellow. That's right. Graduation looked a huge toilet bowl.

College: Griffin. Which is apparently an bulked-up eagle in purple spandex.

The St. Louis College of Pharmacy's mascot (where Hubby went) is the Eutectic. Right. Your guess is as good as mine.

lauren @ gathering moss said...

my high school's original mascot was the belles, like southern belles (all girls' school in the south). in the mid-70s, a group of seniors thought it would be funny to make up the most ridiculous mascot they could think of and pretend it was ours. 40 years later, they're still officially the turkeys. let me see your turkey trot!

The Behrens Family said...

High School was sort of normal, Red Raiders. However, I had to stick with the color thing in college and went with the Blue Hose (apparently a Scottish man who where's blue knee socks?) The best was our cheering...Go Hose, the mighty, mighty Hose...really?

Mandy and Jack said...

We were the Ford Middle School Mustangs. THE FORD MUSTANGS. OMG I JUST GOT THAT.

Mel said...

Mine were all simply beyond boring. We were the cubs in middle school, the lions in high school and the lions in college. (Texas is clearly SO original)

I do, however, have a VERY smart friend who went to some small genious north eastern college and her mascot was the CAMELS. We love teasing her about the great spitting camels. Those are a fierce bunch, you betta run sucka!

Kristy said...

I went to 2 High schools, one were were the Sun-devils (like a Tasmanian devil) the other the Panthers. No harm there. Undergrad was the Bearcats (not a real animal) but again no harm. Grad school was the Spires. I have no idea what a Spire is. It was a Catholic College.

Parsing Nonsense said...

Let's see, I was a dolphin in elementary school, and leopard in middle school, and spartan in high school, and then a viking in college.

Mine just seemed to get more threatening, didn't they? I'm pretty sure if I'd gone to graduate school, the mascot would've been an axe murderer.

Brooke @ Parenting from Scratch said...

In junior high, we were the Wabbits. The mighty, mighty Wabbits. (Yes, that's "rabbits," but spelled and pronounced like a pre-schooler.)

Sarah Lou said...

My own mascots weren't too exciting (Knights in HS and Vikings in college) but one of our state school's mascot is the Geoduck (goo-ee-duck). Yup, a giant clam. Apparently there's even a song...

"Go, Geoducks go,
Through the mud and the sand,
let's go.
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out.

Go, Geoducks go,
Stretch your necks when the tide
is low
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out."

Amy, queen of the world. said...

Ya know, in the past, I would always wonder to myself, "Self, what do you suppose cherry dr. pepper feels like coming out of your nose?"

Thanks for helping me find that out today! :)

sheilah said...

You could go to The Evergreen State College in WA state. Their mascot is a geoduck (pronounced gooey-duck - see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoduck). It is a large saltwater clam with a huuuuuuge long neck that looks like a giant...well...dildo.

Imagine the fun you could have saying you are a fighting clam. That must scare a lot of people. Clams can't even move, can they?

Pinky said...

Most of these are pretty hilarious. Mine were pretty normal,
Elementary Warrior (Indianola)& Tiger (Eric White?)
Middle - Roughrider (Roosevelt)
HS - Bear
City College - Ram
College - Saints
Grad School - not there yet

JB said...

Mine were all kickass. In high school, I was a demon. (The mascot is actually kind of terrifying.) In college, I was a hawkeye. (Wouldn't the hawk be scarier than just the eye of a hawk? Ah, well, better than a buckeye.) And in grad school I moved up the food chain to a wolverine. (And I think there aren't ANY wolverines left in the state of Michigan, if there ever were any.) Realistically, though, once you're a demon, all other mascots are sort of a letdown in fierceness.

MrsRoy said...

My high school mascot was the Quakers. As in the pacifist religious group. It was a guy with an old gray wig on and one of those funny-shaped hats. We were super intimidating I swear!!
College was the Mavericks, which translated to a horse I guess. It was fierce-looking, but not everyone saw the connection.

AFWingMom said...

My high school is in Mesquite Tx and our mascot is a skeeter. Yes, a mosquito named Stormy. Go Skeeters! :)

Erin said...

This is pretty much the best post ever. That is all. Proceed.

Thomas said...

I don't know about a better progression, but my college and graduate school mascot was an okra (I'm not even sure what it would be--an okra pod?). The Fighting Okra, to be exact. Oh, yeah. Pretty fierce.

Cara said...

Mine weren't bad: HS - Bruin (big, bad, scary bear), College - Buccaneers (Fierce Pirates)

But, the kicker - a High School nearby were the Fremont PRETZELS!!!! WTF? Only GW Bush would be scared! That's the only mascot I've ever seen that is actually FOOD! Non Intimidating Food at that!

Anonymous said...

Mine were all pretty good, actually:

Middle School -- Eagles
High School -- Falcons (yes, it's the only high school in the district, and yes, it was a deliberate and highly original connection)
College -- Wildcats named Wilma and Wilbur. Kind of a letdown on the names, but ok otherwise, lol :)

That said, the KILN?! Priceless. I don't think anything could ever top having a KILN as a mascot, not even the penguin.

Annegirrl said...

At least your mascots were tangible items. I started with a Blue Streak. A blue lightning bolt. I moved on to a Golden Flash. Pretty much the same as the Blue Streak, except yellow. Now I'm at a school that is mascot-less and I checked and got "Your search - mascot - did not match any documents.". I win for the most intangible mascots ever!

jCam said...

I can't beat the Kilns, but in college we were the Gulls. It used to be the Power Gulls, but they got demoted to the Gulls my freshmen year.

Our [unofficial] motto was 'we'll shit on you!'

Jericho said...

LOL that is quite the trifecta! I can't even try to beat it, as I attended the regular old Eagles, Bobcats, etc, type of schools. What a clever post!

Rachel said...

My elementary and college mascots were pretty boring and generic, but my high school mascot....that's a different story. We were the 'Naps'. That's short for Napoleon. Pun intended.

What's better than Catholic high school kids emulating a megalomaniacal shorty who's known the world over for being the namesake of a complex involving little men with big attitude? The fact that the cartoon painting of our little Napoleon mascot in the gym was very strategically placed so that a light switch was in a most amusing position. I'll never know how some kids from an Art Class got away with that one.

A. Hunt said...

Wow! Small world... I stumbled on your blog via Tiff's site and I recognize that Potter! I went to Wellsville... ok so a Tiger isn't that rare but one could say Wellsville is ;) AND I work for UA....

Good times!

k.wolfe said...

University of West Florida... an Argonaut. When I find out what an argonaut is I'll letcha know!

Melanie said...

I'm a little late, but I had to chime in. I think mine all went downhill; I started out with dolphins, then middle school was the raiders. I went to two different high schools - the marlins for the first (woo, a fish!), then the packers. As in, pig packing plant. Hot!
Then there was college: the Hokies.

Sarah Soon-To-Be... said...

Fellow Penguinnnn!

I lost myself in blog-space, but think I started at ALin and ended up here. I'm glad I did!

P said...

Only a fellow EL Potter can appreciate a Potter... :o) Much love from the land of Hot Dog Shoppe!