Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Lights Out

As I mentioned here, I've been working out.  Partly because I want to be able to kick people's asses, but mostly because I need to lose some weight.  And I'm not sure if you knew this?  But believe me, you will want to hold on to your collective britches because this is a total shocker - you can't lose weight by simply sitting on your couch and watching skinny people live out complicated and dramatic sitautions!

Thanks for nothing, Kardashians!

So, working out.  Am doing it.  Three days a week, it's me and Jillian (and Mark, who has joined us for some Shredding) at the dirty ass crack of dawn...5 a.m. 

Two or three days a week, it's me and the treadmill, slowly making our way from Couch to 5k.  I try to do all my running on my lunch break.  There is a workout room that I can use.  And by Workout Room, I mean Glorified Closet With Two Treadmills, An Elliptical, and Some Monstrous Nautilus Equipment.

I'm sure we all know that there are people who make me want to claw out my own eyes in the Glorified Closet With Two Treadmills, An Elliptical, and Some Monstrous Nautilus Equipment. 

The Couch to 5k (I do this one) is three days per week.  I used to run on M, W, and F in the Glorified Closet With Two Treadmills, An Elliptical, and Some Mosntrous Nautilus Equipment.  But I kept seeing these two uber friendly 40-something guys. 

And they wanted to be gym friends.  I promise I'm not acting all oh, these guys are hitting on me because I look soooo pretty in sweatpants and old tee shirts.  They weren't.  They were chatting with me.  Do I like basketball?  No.  Do I lift weights?  Not unless you count lifting drumsticks to my mouth as lifting weights.  How do you like your iPhone?  I like it more than I like talking to you.

I do not want gym friends.  I also don't want elevator friends, or public restroom friends.  I simply to do not enjoy small talk and am incapable of pretending that I do.So, in order to avoid my Gym Friends, I switched my treadmill days to Tuesday and Thursday.  And it worked!  No more Gym Friends. 

Well, it worked for a week.  Now?  Now, it's Lights Out Lady.

Lights Out Lady uses the treadmill while blasting oldies on the public use CD player.  Also?  She does not wipe down the equipment after she uses it.  She does all of these things in the dark.

I'm so not into running on a treadmill, in the dark.  Call me crazy, but getting sweaty and breathing heavy with someone in a dark room is something that I save for...you know? NOT THE GYM GLORIFIED CLOSET WITH TWO TREADMILLS, AN ELLIPTICAL, AND SOME MONSTROUS NAUTILUS EQUIPMENT.

When I get there after her, I turn the light on.  I mean, I have to deal with her blaring oldies and her sweat drips left to dry all over the place.  The least she can deal with is...light.  (Can you imagine? Oh, the humanity!)  And she never fails to wait the 20 seconds for me to get into hearing range before she gives a totally exhasperated sigh. 

Last week?  She turned the lights back off during my cool down.  She stopped her treadmill mid-walk, went across the room, and turned off the lights.

Is it just me, or is that strange behavior? 

Maybe I'll just give up on working out and buy bigger pants.

--

One Year Ago: No! Sleep! Till Brooklyn!
Two Years Ago: Lupron Eve


25 comments:

areyoukiddingme said...

People - One of the many and varied reasons why I don't go to the Weight Room available in my building. Another reason? It's meant for the cops, so most of the people in there are...not sporting baby weight 3 years later. Oh wait, if you lose it all in the first year, but gain it all back and then some, you can't call it baby weight, can you? Sigh.

I'm with you, sister - I get up at 4:45 am to walk a mile or so through our neighborhood every morning before work. Sleeping also does not take the weight off.

Crossed Fingers said...

That is super odd....but great for you for working out. I've been doing at least 20 minutes a day of cardio - five days a week. I figure until I get my BFP I might as well get into bikini shape. Something positive has to come out of all the BFN! :)

Robin said...

running on a treadmill...In the dark?? I am terrified of falling off or tripping with the lights on!

Betsy said...

oooh gym friends are the WORST! I seriously think I'd be rail thin if I had my OWN treadmill in front of my OWN DVR...but alas, this is a no go.

CJ said...

UM!! VERY WEIRD BEHAVIOR! Keep working out though!

Ashley said...

I hate gym friend, especially skinny ones. Skinny chatty ones that can still talk while working out. and the dark? seriously?

Mrs. Higrens said...

How very...ODD. But not a great choice either - between chatty guys and no lights Lucy.

Good for you for sticking with it!

Jenn said...

One time I talked about Couch to 5K, but that's about as far as I got. I'm just going to live vicariously through you, mmkay?

I would totally stop going to the Glorified Closet With Two Treadmills, An Elliptical And Some Monstrous Natutilus Equipment (GCWTTAEASMNE, for short). I mean, I can't honestly figure out which would be the lesser of two evils. The Gym Friends, which would techincally not be "Gym" friends as much as GCWTTAEASMNE Friends or Elvira, the vampire of the GCWTTAEASMNE. I mean, you never called her a vampire, but really? Working out in the dark and then acting as if your world is coming to an end of someone turns on the lights *GASP*.

I think the only solution here would be to put a sign on the door that leads into the GCWTTAEASMNE that says "Closed For Maintenance". You go in, do your business and when you leave, take the sign with you. See, I just helped you! You win! You can thank me later! I just used and exclamation point to end three entire sentences! I don't really know why I'm so excited!...Make that 5 sentences...

HereWeGoAJen said...

Please take a lantern with you next time and just use that. I would be so totally amused.

carolyn said...

Small talk is seriously the worst. I have absolutely no patience for it. Especially at the gym. I find that earbuds come in handy.

On another note, I just finished reading through all of your archives. Loved it all. So please continue to entertain me with your wonderfully amusing stories so that I don't have to actually start working at, um, work. Thanks ;)

Dana said...

What the HELL??????

kimbosue said...

A flashlight...or better yet, a strobe light!

WTH kind of freak show place do you work at again?

Allison said...

I wish I had a link to HER blog.

I bet she's all "I was here FIRST" and "WHO WORKS OUT WITH THE LIGHTS ON!! How do you workout-dream about Richard Simmons if the lights are on??"

Lez said...

My wife and I got up at the ass-crack of dawn everyday for several months last year (March to September)to do Jillian's 30 day shred. I have to say it gave me energy, and nice arms, but it did nothing for the scale:( And it totally messed up my ankle from all the jumping, so now I really can't do it anymore. So be careful!! You can really hurt yourself!

And about that Lights Out Lady....ummmmmm....yeah, I would say that is VERY strange. Be careful there too....sounds like a real nutcase!

Rachel said...

Ok, working out in the dark is just plain bizarre. In addition to taking in a lantern or flashlight, I would love it if you took in old Metallica cds or something to play super loud.

I tried the couch to 5K program once. Literally, I went "running" ONE time. Now I am about the start the shred, I have baby weight to lose and since my youngest baby is 22 months old now, I'm officially 2 months away from having to own it as my OWN weight. Ick. Please update with your weight loss triumphs. I need motivation/inspiration, badly.

Inara Jones said...

You should go back to the Gym Friends. They're less weird, and the awkward small talk can be avoided by wearing headphones. As a bonus, leave the other end just hanging, and see if they notice that you're not listening to anything. :)

andrea said...

a) i am seriousy jealous that you can work out at your place of employment.

b) i am seriousy jealous-er that you can wake up at 5a. that would make my life so much easier, but alas, when 5am comes I jsut pretend like I never saw the clock...

c) when i used to be skinny and work out, i hated gym friends too. i would leave my ipod in my ears even if the battery died just so no one would think i could hear them talking. and the dark? really? wierd.

Carina said...

Lights Out Lady sounds super fun. Maybe she thinks the soft glow of a few (I'm assuming there is more than one in this tiny closet of a room?) light bulbs will make the room warmer and make her sweat even more! Or maybe she is waaaaay into energy conservation. OR! Maybe she is ugly as sin and is trying to spare you the dry heaves that surely must come from laying eyes on her.

SusanK said...

You seem to encounter more than your fair share of weirdos ;)

Dorothy said...

So I read your post and thought, "Exersicing in the dark is soooooo weird!"

Then yesterday DH and I went to a birth class at the YMCA and we walk past a spinning class with the music blaring and THE LIGHTS OFF! I got the giggles.

For what it's worth spinning in the dark sounds safer that being on a treadmill in the dark.

aweber said...

Good for you!!! I'm a runner, and you might want to try running outside. I find it to go a lot faster and to be easier than on a treadmill...and nobody will turn the lights out on you unless it is night time. I'm on www.dailymile.com. You can map out your runs to know how far they are. It keeps track of your total lifetime miles and calculates the amount of doughnuts that you've burned...which I find hilarious. Sign up for a 5k race as soon as possible; that will help you stick with it. Good luck, I love your blog, and can't wait to hear more!!

The Daily Betty said...

That is very very strange. How handy are you? If you didn't think it would get you fired you could surreptitiously install either a remote control or a motion activated switch! I just saw an iPhone commercial where the tech savvy mom turns off the living room lights from the airport. Maybe you could get that app?

Just me said...

That IS strange behavior.

But, I must say, you are lucky to be able to work out at work on your lunch. My husband can work out at work too, and he does it before he starts work in the morning. I guess I could work out in our exercise room, but then I'd have to shower in the locker room with 13 year old girls coming in and out... :-/

I'm impressed, though, both by the couch to 5K (which I've considered doing on more than one occasion, but unfortunately considering doesn't make the cut) and the Jillian workouts. (She scares me.)

I keep telling myself it's okay that I'm not working out since I'm still taking fertility meds and fluctuating 5-10 pounds based on my level of bloat. (That doesn't explain the additional ten pounds I put on between my wedding and beginning treatments....)

I miss my hot abs. But I would miss my wine more... Oh, the calories.

Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen said...

This post totally cracks me up. I get the whole not wanting to make small talk all time. What happened to lost art of comfortable silence. Life is over stimulating as it is. I think I would bring my i-pod and return to M-W-F and pretend I couldn't hear Mr. Roger's and his buddy. As far as the "lights out lady," WHAT A FREAK! I don't think that is normal behavior at all.