Monday, April 19, 2010

Zoo Rip Off

Our house is for sale.  Has been for about three weeks.  If you'd like to do me a solid and buy it, let me know.  Kthxbai. 

It has been super fun trying to get two adults, a baybee, and two dogs out of the house for an hour.  Especially since anyone we know well enough to impose upon during dinner time on short notice lives too far away for us to impose upon.  So we try to Go Places.  Going Places is a good plan when it is nice out, but hi, we live in Ohio and so it's only nice out like 30% of the time.

Anyway.  Last week we had a showing from 6-7 on a weeknight.  So we're all Yes!  Easy!  We'll go to the park, twill be great! 

Except it rained.  Which, of course it rained, right?  Hello, Ohio Weather.   Since it rained, that means there were only two choices:

1. Shoot myself in the freaking head, or
2. PetSmart.

I don't have a gun.  So we went to PetSmart.  It's pretty much the only inside place that allows dogs and also has Many Interesting Things for a baybee to see.  It's, like, a zoo.  Sort of.  A zoo rip off, but whatever, there are animals so shut up.

Riveted by birds. For three entire minutes, which is like three entire hours in adult time.
(In the interest of full disclosure, she is also riveted by the green light on the smoke detector in her bedroom.  That thing gets more smiles than Elmo these days.)


Riveted by fish.  For about sixty seconds.
Fish: they are no smoke detector light.



She is just so NOMable.


100% Baked Pork Skin Bones: A Close Second to Smoke Detector Light


Everyone had a great time - Milo pooped in the store, Baxter ate some sort of debris off the floor, Olivia was riveted by crappy animals.  And we all lived happily ever after, in our same house, that is still for sale.  The End.

23 comments:

Tiffany said...

We have SO done this! Fellow ohioan here - stop by if you get a chance sometime - www.mom-nom.com (we're under construction. aka mommy needs a drink)

Crossed Fingers said...

ROFL - you always make me laugh with your posts. I live in Michigan so I feel you about the weather - it sucks. Last summer we didn't even HAVE a summer, it was like a spring/fall mix...no warm weather!

HereWeGoAJen said...

We always end up driving around aimlessly while we have showings. We'll stop at Target, one of us stays in the car with the dogs and then we switch. Our Petsmart is like 45 minutes away or that would be perfect.

Jenifer said...

That is an awesome idea! Good luck with the house.

Stephanie said...

We're putting our house on the market tomorrow. Oh please, let it sell quickly. I just don't want to have to lug my poor baby all over the place. We do have a park nearby, but no PetSmart.

But of course, I want your house to sell quickly too! Thinking good thoughts!

Mel said...

Having just played the whole sell the house/buy a new house with a baby and dog game, I haveta say--biggest pain in the ass ever. BUT so worth it. So, SO worth it. Especially if you are going from a house that is way too tiny for the baby who needs 2000 SF just for herself and her toy tornado to a house with SPACE and enough bathrooms that you don't have to clean up after your husband every single day. AHHHHH. Good luck.

areyoukiddingme said...

Well, summer's coming anyway. Maybe the weather will be nicer. Or even better, maybe someone will buy your house!

Amy said...

We're thinking of selling our house as well to move closer to my parents. But the thought of keeping everything "show ready" with a 1 year old and 2 big oafs that call themselves dogs, is too daunting for me right now.

Best of luck to you!

AMW said...

We are in the same boat - daughter is 14 months and we live in Boston, so there aren't too many outdoor options until oh, July. The library has a kids section so that's been a good one, and I can always find something we need at the grocery store. Good luck!

Candice said...

My personal fav is when you go to all this trouble and then they don't show. Love that!!

Rebecca said...

Our house was for sale for an ENTIRE YEAR. I eventually just gave up and put the kids down for nap if it was nap time and let them play in the living room if it was rainy outside, and if it was lunch or dinner time, the people coming to eat got to watch us use our kitchen and eat.

Minta said...

That is so funny. We too go to PetsMart for excursions where both dogs and C's must accompany us. Because seriously, when is it ever freaking nice in Ohio? (OK, so it was one day last week, but it's been so long ago now, I've forgotten.)

Also, IDK what constitutes too long a drive, but there's a house in Dayton where you can show up with 45 minutes notice that's kid and dog friendly! And, I swear we're not serial killers or anything...

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

oh, you make me laugh :) thank you.

Steph said...

You are so funny, I love all your blog, I wish we could be real friends instead of me just blog stalking you and wishing we were friends because you are so funny and your baby is so cute :) You always make me laugh when I come here!

LJB said...

It's so much easier here in the UK - no one leaves just because strangers are coming to stomp through their house :) I have to say when we did house hunting I quite liked chatting with the current owners...

kimbosue said...

Loving the Puma outfit too!

Lauren said...

omg, that's hilarious. I actually had to go there yesterday and get the dog shaved. But me and my little one stood in front of the rat and bird cages for about 5 minutes (yes, it really is like 5 hours in adult time) watching them. It did entertain and was free. hehe....

Alyssa said...

So, when you lose your job and I have to cover your mortgage, will that be on the old house or the new one? Or both? I'm just trying to plan ahead here.

Anabelle said...

My BFF just started this blog and its hyterical! You have a wicked good sense of humor so I just had to share it lol

http://rew1980.blogspot.com/

andrea said...

a) G has the same puma jacket. so stylish, these girls.
b) selling/buying houses should be much easier (or, faster, really) and WHY do they need an hour - you know they are only going to be there for a few minutes. that part pisses me off!
that is all.

Carol said...

We used to live in Ohio too. Boo craptastic Ohio weather. Good luck on your move - I recommend Texas if you want someplace to go, We live south of Austin and its sunny, oh, 93% of the year

Rachel said...

Our house is on the market also, oh but we haven't had ANY showings! Not even ONE. Which I suppose is a blessing in disguise since our place always looks like shit thanks to our mini-two-man demolition crew aka our 3.5 yr. old son and 2 yr. old daughter. They are trying to ensure we NEVER move into a bigger, nicer house. Thanks, kids!

KandiB said...

We were showing our house with a 10 mo old, and two dogs. I thought for sure I'd lose it. It was only for three days, because when you practically give your house away and bend over to take it from your buyer, then it sells quickly! We had so many people thru our house that we had to leave from 9 am until 8 pm. It was Aw-SUM. I hope yours goes quickly. I'm guessing those fish aren't going to hold someones attention for even 60 seconds for much longer :)