Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Because it's more of a challenge than peeing on a $50 bill.

Confession: I have taken 11 pregnancy tests.  Do not believe me?  Let me show you a bunch of sticks soaked in my urine:
Do you smell something?  Is it pee?
Or desperation?


I don't know what has come over me.  One day last week?  After I got my positive?  I took a test mid-day just so I could stare at it while I did my work. 

I could have just whipped out a $50 and peed directly on it, flushed it down the toilet, and went about my day.  But what is the challenge in that?  A $50 is at least two inches wide.  Any whore off the street could pee on that.  I do fertility treatments, which means that my entire pubic area is exceptional.  I can pee on a half inch of absorbent material better than any fertile person. 

In a world where I didn't have a blog (a perfect world for you, perhaps), I would never, ever dream of smugly announcing a pregnancy this early in the game.  But this blog makes it impossible to keep a secret.  And I promise you that I'm not going around saying, "I'm pregnant!"  I am going around saying, "I tested positive but my beta isn't until Thursday." 

(I like to keep if vague.  Like, maybe an annoying person will just assume that I tested positive for Ebola and leave me alone.  I've got to work this all to my advantage.  If I play my cards right, I may be able to avoid social interaction altogether.)

Next thing you know, I'll be wearing a t-shirt that says BABY with a big arrow pointing to my belly. With crocs and pigtails, naturally.  And then I'll say really infuriating things, like, "I'm preggers!" And then I'll make you listen while I tell you about my journey. Mah journeeeeee!

In which I sprinkle my First Morning Urine
on a First Response Early Result
but NOT on my hand, because I'm no rookie newb.
Taken this morning.

 
No.  I take that back.  I can't promise you that I won't become more annoying, but I can promise you that I will not use the word journey to describe any part of fertility treatments.  I hope that makes up for my lack of posting due to soul crushing exhaustion?

I got my very first faint positive at 7 days past 5 day transfer.   Naturally, I tested at 4, 5, and 6 days past because HELLO NEUROSES GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN OLD FRIENDS!  Nothing at 4 days, and a ghost of a line at 5 and 6 - no color, but I could see where a line should be.  But also, I'm crazy pants right now so there is, like, a 97% chance I made it all up in my mind.  But if I was to ever wax nostalgic about mah journeeeeeee I might make mention of it.

First positive test after FET...
IVF Speak: 7 Days Past 5 Day Transfer
Fertile People Speak: 12 Days Past Ovulation
Right now, I just need my beta.  And the follow-up beta.  And the heartbeat to show up on the ultrasound.  Then I can maybe, possibly think that something as easy as the FET actually worked for me.  And the due date, based on the transfer day, is the same as my due date was with Olivia (based on her transfer date).  Deja vu all over again, eh?

Keep all crossables crossed for my Thursday beta, if you don't mind??

---

One Year Ago: Need Sleep Advice
Two Years Ago: So Much To Report To The Internet!



93 comments:

mamakass said...

WooHoo!!! So glad things are looking good. And even those of us who are overly fertile freak out. I took many pregnancy tests all telling me the same thing. Yes. You are pregnant and your baby isn't even 7 months old. Kiddy up.
So excited for you!

Adam and Julia said...

I think you can...I think you can.....I think you are PREGNANT!!! And. I think it is possible. I will do the exact same thing after my transfer in a month, so be on the lookout for the same picture. You are not crazy...you are IF...and that makes us crazy!! Congratulations! Thursday's beta is going to be off the charts!! I just know it.

Sunny N. said...

Woo Hoo Jen I'm so happy for you!!! Congrats Olivis is going to love being a big Sis!!!

AmyC623 said...

Well that's just super awesome!!! But now I have to go back to my blog and edit out all of my douchey "journey" talk...

Allison said...

Congratulations! Will be thinking about you on Thursday!

Courtney said...

Coming out of lurking here to say
CONGRATS! That is awesome!

HereWeGoAJen said...

WHOOOHOOO! And I am so excited! I mean, I am positively excited until your beta on Thursday, when I hope to be betaly excited.

MommyV said...

HUGE Congratulations!!!! Good luck with your betas!!!!!!!

rachel... said...

Is it too soon to say CONGRATS?

No? CONGRATS!

(And I'm kinda jealous. I'm fertile people, but I can't bring myself to announce a pregnancy until I'm in labor, practically.)

Emily said...

Congratulations! I hope the beta goes well - I'll be looking forward to hearing the results!

lparsons15 said...

YAY!!! Thats amazing!! Lots of positive thoughts to you for Thursday!!

Kristin said...

Because I care so much I will even cross my labia for you. That's how I roll cause after two kids, you really can do that w/your labia!

No really sweetie as I said before, I have been thinking about you like crazy, very happy for you and your ability to cell split w/o the sex!

sarah said...

Way to implant some ice-babes! Happy beta-ing.

Mandy Hornbuckle said...

Yaaaay! Congratulations on the positive!!

MFA Mama said...

WHOOOHOOOOO!!!

Andrea said...

Congrats! I, too, am coming out from lurking to congratulate you. I'm IF, too and am nervous about baby #2 (but, like you said - it's totally different considering an only child versus NO children). Good luck with the beta. I know it will be amazing :) Are you prepared for TWINS?? ;) lol

Laine said...

Usually I just lurk, but I had to come out of hiding to say Congrats! I know thursday can't get here soon enough!

Kelly said...

I have been anxiously waiting for this post. I'm not sure if I've ever commented, but I'm a reader. Sorry about that not commenting thing, but I have a feeling you aren't one to care about that. Congratulations!!!

Alyssa said...

That's awesome! Congrats :)

Tasha said...

So exciting, I am delivering my FET TWINS on Friday at 36 weeks! I took a bazillion tests, I even took tests after the repeat beta, and even after we saw their heartbeats! Good lucl on your beta momma!

Sarah said...

I've got EVERYTHING crossed for you, Sweetcheeks!

The Bowlings said...

Fantastic!! I'm a huge fan of your blog. SO happy for you and excited! Everything is crossed!

Amanda said...

Awesome! Your beta will probably be so great that Olivia will be jealous.

Emily said...

fingers are crossed! go uterus go!!

Shanny said...

Congrats on testing positive! Now, I'm off to start crossing any and all crossables for your beta!!!

raisingmiles said...

I like the way you nonchalantly say you got a positive. "one day after I got my positive...."

good luck in your "journey." :-)

ice, ice babies!

Cindy said...

Woot! Looking good, mama!!!

Crossed everything for you!

Elise said...

Congratulations!!!

And don't feel bad about all of the pee sticks. I got my BFP last Wednesday at 10 DPO. But I started testing at 6 DPO (*shame*). And I can't stop testing, even though I'm now 16 DPO (*double shame*). And, um, I test multiple times a day. DO NOT tell my husband!! I've proabably peed on 75 tests. I would totally be divorced if he knew that. BUT, I buy internet cheapies in bulk, so it's okay, right???? Well, except for those 3 boxes of FRERs to back UP the cheapies. And the digitals to back up the FRER. OMG, what is WRONG with me?????

Anyway, you're not alone. Congratulations!!!!!!

Mrs. Higrens said...

You are one crazily fertile infertile.

Great news!

Mehren said...

Congrats! I am so excited for you. I am 5wks 4days pregnant right now with my first. I peed on soooo many sticks and I even made a little collage out of them (I even saved my ovulation sticks too!). I know I am crazy and I have accepted it. Please keep us posted on all of your pregnancy symptoms!

Enough happiness said...

That is great news. Congrats!

Delenn said...

AWESOME news! Congratulations, and I will be wishing for wonderful betas...

Kahla said...

Awesome. Just make sure you tie big bows on your pigtails! Keeping it all crossed for your BETA :o)

Mom of the Twinkies and Tot! said...

From those pee sticks I can honestly say, looks pretty preggo to me! I never took 12 tests but I took at least 5-6 with both pregnancies! I don't know how to explain the fascination with it either! Congrats!

Angie said...

Congratulations!

Erin said...

If there was ever a stick peeing contest, you would win. YOU ARE THE BESTEST STICK PEE-ER EVER! Loving all those little pink lines!!

Annalisa said...

Oooh, yay! I've been thinking about you all week! (No, seriously, I have.) I'm so excited that it looks like good news! You're funny, like, all the time. But when you're preggo? You're hi-larious. :)

Michelle said...

Congratulations! If it helps, my son's birthday is Sunday. I'm due with #2 on Tuesday. The OB's office thinks it's just awesome how well we planned and was a full moon or something? I roll my eyes and point down the hall to the RE's office.

Kara said...

Only thing slightly crazier than you peeing on $50 worth of tests? Me checking my blogger homepage everyday to hear about results of aforementioned pee sticks. And I don't even know you in real life.

Here's to some really great serial betas!


PS You have good taste (obviously) First response early result is the best.

I might be able to partially fund my one child's college education with all the tests I have wasted.

Heidi Lyn said...

Yay!!!!! My fingers are crossed.

Alison aka Baby B said...

All crossables crossed!! :D

Anonymous said...

All crossables crossed. It is amazing news and totally possible & has completely made my day, thanks for posting.

Not sure what the equation for number of wee sticks needed to achieve tolerable certainty (i.e. enough to stop) is but the number is big. When I got a positive I kept some in the bathroom to look at and I carried around one in my handbag for out-and-about checking, which my husband thought was utterly revolting. Ha! As if I would let covering my possessions in urine hold me back.

Luck and good wishes and everything. x

~Sabine~ said...

Wow! Amazing! Holding thumbs for great betas

hairyfarmerfamily said...

Fingers obligingly crossed tightly for you; I now have white fingers and blood-flow issues to my fingertips, but I shall take the pain! Best of luck, dear.

Cernanec Family said...

Yay!!!!!! I now wish multples upon you. Muahahahahaha.

No, really. Multples are fun. You'll see. Fun. Fun. Fun.

I hope this pregnancy is pukeless and enjoyable. Congratulations!!!

julie said...

awesome - congratulations!!! nothing but positive, happy thoughts coming to you. really, so excited for you.

Lisa said...

Great News. But I am surprised you are still using FR tests for follow-ups. Once I got the BFP I switched to Dollar Store tests for the daily checks. They work just as well believe it or not. All the extra $$$ is just for fancy packaging.

Jennifer said...

Awesome, Jen!!! Congrats (I know it's a pre-beta congrats, but it's deserved!!)!

Those damn sticks are freaking expensive, but how can you not fork over the dolla bills for them?! Totally worth it.

jCam said...

Congratulations! I'm hoping for good high doubling betas for you :-)

MagaliesGarden said...

Congrats to Olivia's cryo-twins! And your bad @ss Ute for being sticky. And your bad @ss self for going thru it all again! And your sore @ss for those PIO shots. Awesome awesome awesome!

poppy.f.seed said...

hurrah!
and, I love the ever darkening lines. Good luck Thursday.

Jaci said...

*SQUEE*

OMG, so so so happy for you!

You really need to take a 9 months pregnant picture in the most obnoxious baby bump T-shirt you can find with pigtails and crocks. I vote for a Got Milk? T-shirt with arrows pointing to your boobs. :)

Strawberry said...

You are officially a breeder now :) Congrats!

Carol said...

Grow babies grow! Supporting your craziness and even us fertile people get crazy with the pee sticks and the worry! Sticky baby dust to you.

Lea said...

YAY! I was thinking about you yesterday and said a little prayer because we hadn't heard anything from you in a while.

I'm a "newish" follower and you crack me up....like literally laugh out loud, my husband looks at me like I'm nuts, laughter.

I'll keep you in my prayers!

Maddy said...

CONGRATULATIONS!! I'm so happy for you! All the best.

manapan said...

Congrats! I hope your betas go even better than the sticks have! :)

(Also? My word verification is "dissperm". Just had to mention the weirdness there.)

Allison said...

Congrats!!!

uncomplicateme said...

Crossables crossed! So fracking happy for you! Also: jealous that you get to be pregnant (knocking on wood, throwing salt, etc.) in the winter again! :) With any luck, I'll be yooge next summer, oye.

Anyway, luck, luck, luck!

Amy said...

Yay! Congratulations. Keeping everything crossed for a great beta tomorrow!

Dre said...

Crossing all things that I can possibly cross. But congrats anyway, that is some impressive peeing, Tex!

Hillary said...

I am soo effing jealous! Yesterday morning and this morning I took pregnancy tests and I got error readings on both! WTF! Both different brands too! Apparently I pee gasolene or something first thing in the morning!
Your lineup of working ones made me only slightly bitter.. :)

Nic said...

Yay, thats great news!!
Good luck for your beta on Thursday!

(Just purely as a side note; over here in the UK they do not do beta's apparantly, my RE said that a +ve on a pee stick is enough! Scary!)

areyoukiddingme said...

Congratulations on getting over the first hurdle. Fingers crossed that the next six or seven go very smoothly and happily for you! Much luck...

Huh. They should put those chemicals in $50 bills. At least then, there would be a good reason to keep urine soaked items.

brunettebeachgirl said...

YEAH!!!!!! Congrats to you and your bad ass uterus. : )

Good Luck on Thursday!!

cathyjoy said...

all crossables crossed and prayers goin up!

e.k. said...

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! YAY! CONGRATS!
I haven't even read all your whole post yet but I opened it thinking, "be pregnant be pregnant be pregnant!" haha. ok... must read the rest. GAAAAAAHHHHHYAAAAAY!

Deanna said...

crossed my legs! (I need my fingers to type and I can't cross my eyes) I hope Thursday gets here quickly for you!

Parsing Nonsense said...

That's a beautiful sight, lady! Congrats, I can't wait to read about your JOURNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Laura said...

Yippee! So incredibly happy for you!

JenC said...

What great news! I was almost 9 weeks pregnant with my second after IVF when my husband opened my underwear drawer and found over 20 tests, and I was still taking them. He told me I needed a therapist and then got a doppler for me. =)

Pam said...

Sweet bejeesus! That's fantastic! Good luck on beta day(s)! (Sidenote: I've been reading your blog since you were like 6 months pregnant with Olivia and I was a bitter and angry infertile who appreciated sarcasm. I have a 5 month old now, but I still appreciate your sarcasm! Keep it up!)

Aimee said...

That was fast - and YAY! Sticky thoughts!

And at least you did this BEFORE your beta...I did it after just to bask in all those little lines, haha.

Aunt Becky said...

WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Crossed Fingers said...

OMG THAT'S GREAT NEWS! I'm so excited it has (hopefully) worked the first time around! Sending LOTS & LOTS of sticky dust!

ty said...

you are too cute :) i'm a brand new follower, and i love you. congratulations (?!) and fingers crossed!

Mama Tully said...

Haha! I'd say congrats, but I don't want you to feel jinxed. But isn't seeing that second pink line just the BEST feeling in the world?!! All crossables are crossed for you!

Melissa G said...

Congrats on your two lines!

Crossing everything that your beta(s) comes back great!

Rebecca said...

Maybe you should use the dollar tree pee sticks. Save oodles of monies and you can use the wads of cash you saved on tests to splurge on a Petunia Picklebottom Diaper bag!

lumos said...

Woo hoo congrats:)

Shauna said...

Got all my crossables crossed! Best wishes!!

renee said...

crossables are most definitely crossed!

D said...

Definitely be sending good thoughts your way!!! Super excited for your "positive" result :)

Shelly said...

Great post. Congrats! I never post but love your blog.

Just Me. said...

congrats, Jen. don't know if you remember me but i designed your cover of Infertile Whore publication. Seems like aeons ago.

Those two lines bring back memories cuz I was pg a month after you 2 years ago.

Can't wait to hear your beta results.

xoxo

Dora said...

YAY! Congrats! Totsicles make awesome babies. (Well, mine did!) Aint science grand.

Princess Hippopotamus said...

Hurray! I hope all goes well!

Kahla said...

Ummm, it's 4:12 central time... update please! Not that I'm impatient or anything (except I totally am, which is why I could never do team green). Wishing for nothing but good news!

Anonymous said...

Congrats!!!!! Hope it's twins! ;-)

Liza A Martin said...

I'm a blog stalker and POAS addict also prego with my 2nd and I just wanted to say CONGRATS! I know it's scary this early on to announce to anyone (even those of us that you will never see) but at the same time it can't hurt to have a few 100 extra prayers right?! :) You will be in our prayers! and again CONGRATS!

Just Another Mother said...

Congrats Jen!! I hope you get a sky high beta.

Christine said...

The damn baby dust worked...

Now, I have to say that all the time... just kidding. I couldn't do that if I wanted to.

Anonymous said...

Jen I am happy for you guys & sad at the same time because I am not ALLOWED to get pregnant right now. Even though you & many of your blog followers have infertility problems at least you guys have options on how & when you would like to try & get pregnant. I don't have any infertility problems, but I still had to wait almost eight years to have my first child b/c of my hlth. problems. Then after having my first baby my husband & I were shocked that a one night oops resulted in a 2nd pregnancy, only to have that baby taken away at 12 wks. gestation b/c of more hlth. problems. I wanted to try again right after I got well, but more hlth. issues & surgeries have not allowed me the opportunity to try. So all I wanted to really say, & I'm sorry if this makes you & your followers mad, is that at least you guys are allowed to try & get pregnant. I feel like I am a newlywed all over again being told that even though I am married I cannot get pregnant b/c of my hlth. problems. Again I am sorry if I have offended any one, but I am soooo angry right now that I needed to get that off my chest. I wish all of you, including you Jen, the best of luck in your baby making adventures. However it may take you to have one at least you are allowed to try & it's the end result(the precious baby) that makes it all worth while.