Friday, July 9, 2010

My Uterus, The Clown Car

Forgive me if this post is...well, stupid. I have to post, since it has been a week. Plus I stayed up past my Old Hag 9pm Bedtime to watch LeBron James redefine the term Cleveland Steamer on national television. Those are thirty minutes of my life that I will never get back.

I'm not sure how appreciative I am supposed to be of the whole miracle of identical twins after my Frozen Embryo Transfer, but if it will piss you off to hear me complain about being sick?  Then stop reading now, and have a nice weekend, and don't leave drama in my comments.  Kthxbai.

OMG I'M SO SICK.  All day.  Every day.  I'm burping and gagging all day.  And the most tragic part about it is that it's really screwing up my Car Concerts.  I was really killing Ants Marching the other day, until the part where it's all "take these chanceeeeeeeeees" and right in the middle of chanceeeeeeeeees I gagged so hard that I put on my turn signal to pull over so that I could vomit on the side of the turnpike.  It was a false alarm.  Perhaps my own horrible singing makes me sick?  And I'm blaming pregnancy for no good reason?

I can't even play my beloved Wii Tetris Party anymore, because watching the pieces spin around makes me all Barfy McYackerson.  And I'll try to be humble here, but I love Tetris because basically when it comes to Tetris?  I wake up and just piss excellence.  I happen to have snapped a photo as proof, which Mark said I was not allowed to put on the blog.

Here is the picture that Mark says I'm not allowed to put on the blog:


Please note the labels, which can be defined as follows:

1. Gorgeous, rightfully smug, amazing Jennepper Mii.  As discussed: wakes up and just pisses excellence.

2. Nearly clear board, even though the game is over. The sign of a Tetris Master.

3. P2 WIN!  That's right.  My Mii made this game her bitch.

4. Defeated, loser, sad to behold Mark Mii, who wakes up and just pisses...pee, probably.  Urine.

5. Completely effed up board, caught on film.  No wonder Mark Mii looks so sad...

**Allison pointed out in the comments that I forgot #6!!!  My most sincere apologies!**

6. It took Mii Jennepper only 2 minutes and 27 seconds to beat Mii Mark.  I'm quick about my excellence pissing.

But woe.  I cannot play Tetris because I might vomit on myself.  Isn't that a sad story?  I bet you are all grabbing your tissues.

In less self pity type news, I had another ultrasound today to check on my subchorionic hematoma.  Still there!  It looks big, too, but nobody seems all that concerned about it.  And since Google tells me that I can't do anything about it, I'm just pretending it isn't there.  Except when I wear pads EVERY FREAKING DAY so that I don't ruin my good skivvies and work pants by some sort of surprise gush from my clown car uterus.

The doctor and the ultrasound tech both saw two yolk sacs.  I made the mistake of Googling a few things related to twin pregnancy - I found the belly pictures to be very disturbing (sorry, but they are), and I also found all sorts of really scary risks associated with identical twin pregnancies.  I don't really want to get into it now, but apparently it is a good sign that there are two yolk sacs.

I've officially graduated from the Reproductive Endocrinologist.  Not sure what I'll do when I can't read unlimited issues of Conceive!  First OB appointment is next week, because all signs point to me seriously being pregnant, like for real no fucking kidding around.

Giddy up!


64 comments:

Carrie said...

I, too, love Tetris and am excellent at it! I have also taken a picture of how good I am at it, though I've never gotten around to posting said picture, I believe. It's a regular handheld Tetris game and I got to level 124, I think. I can't remember now, but I do know that it was so high that the game couldn't register the level any more!

Hours of my life spent on that game. Hours. I don't know if that's impressive or sad. (personally, I vote for impressive, though others may disagree.)

Congrats, by the way! (Except for the vomit part.)

Aunt Becky said...

Woo-hoooooooo! (boo for sick)

HereWeGoAJen said...

Try Jigsawduko or however you are supposed to spell that. http://www.jigsawdoku.com/ I like Tetris and I used to be good at it (I lost it somewhere) and I also really like this. But it doesn't move fast, so maybe it won't make you vomit.

I hope you feel better.

Jill said...

Sorry you're so sick! Such nastiness shouldn't be allowed.

Do you actually have identical twins? I thought you have two eggs inserted (or whatever the appropriate term is) making them two twins, but not identical? I guess I'm just confused . . . .

Jen said...

Jill - I promise that I'm not claiming Identical Twins! all willy nilly.

They are in the same sac = identical. Confirmed by the doctor.

I did put back two embryos - one split into identical twins, and the other didn't take.

Allison said...

I hope you feel better soon!

I was reading this and showing you off to my hubby. And he asked me something I didn't even notice...what's label #6 on your photo? It looks like the clock, but not being a Tetris Master myself? I don't know what it means.

Mrs. Higrens said...

My husband's cousin had a natural mono-mono (one egg, one shared amniotic sac, one placenta) pregnancy and spent the last 2-3 months of the pregnancy in the hospital. The big risk is that the cords could get tangled in that shared sac as the babies move around. So, 2 yolk sacs is a very good sign!

Sorry you're feeling sick all the time. Even when you're thrilled to be pregnant the sick gets a bit tiring. Hope it eases up soon!

Jen said...

Allison! Your husband is correct!
I fixed my post. Thanks for pointing that out!

Erin said...

I have twins. I was so sick for the first 15 weeks or so -- like multiple puking episodes every day -- but it will get better. Sour candy was the only thing that helped. Hang in there, it will subside.

Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

I so remember your pain. I was beyond nauseous and sick with my 2nd pregnancy. I just wanted to die. But I couldn't complain because gosh darn it - I was 40 and pregnant. So I just gagged to myself.

I love you and your blog for a 2nd reason. Now I know why I was bleeding throughout my pregnancy. I had that stupid blood clot that you have. I sure wish one of my doctors had thought of that!! I'm in Chicago too. You'd think the docs would be better here in a big city..

Anyway - sorry for long ass comment. Hope you feel better. It might be 12 weeks to the day. It was for me. Twins!! OMG!!

Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

I so remember your pain. I was beyond nauseous and sick with my 2nd pregnancy. I just wanted to die. But I couldn't complain because gosh darn it - I was 40 and pregnant. So I just gagged to myself.

I love you and your blog for a 2nd reason. Now I know why I was bleeding throughout my pregnancy. I had that stupid blood clot that you have. I sure wish one of my doctors had thought of that!! I'm in Chicago too. You'd think the docs would be better here in a big city..

Anyway - sorry for long ass comment. Hope you feel better. It might be 12 weeks to the day. It was for me. Twins!! OMG!!

strongblonde said...

i love tetris, but tetris party puts me in a bad mood. my husband is so much better than me and i can't be a good sport about losing. whatever. maybe i'll make a fake mii in order to actually win a few games.

congrats on the twin pregnancy. i had twins 10 months ago and i swear the belly wasn't that bad :) (although my husband *did* say i was in denial about that, lol)

Season said...

Barf bags. Barf bags in the car. Barf bags in my purse. Barf bags at the grocery store. I carry them everywhere & use them far more frequently than one would hope to.

Morning Chicness are really pretty, but I go through so many that I'm about to order the standard blue airplane bags.

Hope it ends for you soon! (I'm at 20 weeks with no foreseeable end to the morning/noon/night sickness.)

Gwen said...

Try not to freak out too much about the belly. My twins are three now, and my belly looks flat. I mean, it did before I got pregnant again and had a singleton, because right at this moment I'm losing weight from my second pregnancy. But my point is...the twin pregnancy didn't fuck everything up. Hang in there.

E said...

Am I the ohhhnly crazy who is pro-Zofran? I know that fertility challenged people are supposed to eat organic, listen to soothing music and endure natural childbirth, but Zofran was my BFF in my first trimester. Class B. Practically a Tic Tac. Same class as Tylenol, which might as well be a Tic Tac if you have a headache ferchrissake.

Ask your doc, if you dare. It saved my life. That, and Chick-Fil-A fresh squeezed lemonade.

Congrats on making one egg into two entire babies!

Crazy Sister said...

Wahoo for your serious babies! Hope the turnpike gagging goes away REAL soon so you can get back to singing Ants.

carO__ said...

I'm not going to lie, I've been worried about you all week! I keep checking and no new post for days....so thank you. Thank you for putting my worriness for a stranger to rest and making me laugh. Your life just got A WHOLE LOT cooler, so next time don't leave us hanging so long; we are all (ok maybe just me) are biting at the bit for an update!

Kalina said...

Congrats on your twins! My sister has identical twins who had TTTS. She made it to 36 weeks and delivered healthy, beautiful boys. Best wishes to you! (BTW, your blog is my FAVE)

Rebecca said...

I hate people that say, "You can't complain about your pregnancy because you're infertile and you should be happy you're pregnant at all!" Fuck that. It took me 4.5 years to get pregnant and I was MISERABLE my entire first trimester. I was happy that I was pregnant, but it didn't make my nausea any more fun. I feel yer pain, my dear.

The Red Headed Mama said...

I play tetris on Aiden's DS every night before bed. Jared won't even attempt to play me b/c, well, he sucks. Same with Dr. Mario. :)

Julie said...

I too puked everywhere all the time - but for 9 months. there is not a road between N.olmsted and Elyria that I haven't puked on!! I ended up keeping a small garbage can in my front seat layered with bags. I couldn't laugh, cry, drink water without puking out my guts. So yeah have the pitty party and I will totally come because it sucks!

Jill said...

Zofran was my new best friend during my identical twin pregnancy. It was the only way I could keep down the astronomical calorie intake recommended by my OB. And my girls came out just fine... no extra fingers, toes, heads, whatever.

My twin belly was definitely on the scary side. I made multiple seamstresses sigh audibly and wring their hands at my rapidly changing girth when I was in not just one, but two weddings at the end of my second trimester. And then a few weeks later I stumbled upon a picture of my massive self on the wedding blog Style Me Pretty. Hot stuff. But the good news is, it goes away amazingly fast, because it's mostly babies. Once 12 lbs of babies and their assorted accessories were removed from my clown car, I was well on my way to pre-pregnancy shape.

ErinEvelyn said...

I'll tell ya, a twin pregnancy belly isn't so bad if you're 5'11" and nearly 200lbs to begin with. The swelling though.... oh my, if you've never heard of pitting edema, look it up. That's one fascinating party trick.
This sickness if yours is enough, Jennepper. That last thing you need is a freakshow belly on top of your hematoma and the worry that perhaps one - or more likely BOTH - of your IDENTICAL twins end up looking like Danny Devito. ;)

MFA Mama said...

Yes, Zofran. Also HAHAHA to the Tetris pic; you slay me :)

birdsandsquirrels said...

I'll third the zofran. If my insurance would have covered more of it, I would have taken it all the time.

Red E Bag. Google it. For me the fear of puking uncontrollably in a public place was almost worse than puking itself. I carried my Red E Bag with me everywhere.

Congratulations on the twins and for graduating from the RE!

Nicole said...

Glad everything is going good still. I seriously love your blog because
1. Your honest.
and
2. It's hilarious.
All I know is that if I ever become pregnant vomiting will be complained about.

EB said...

DON'T.GOOGLE.TWIN.BELLIES. They will horrify you. In fact, I would warn you that your own twin belly will be a whole zipcode of horror on its own except the few from above helps minimize it.

Of course, you can kiss your vag view bye bye at about 18 weeks or so. Seeing my privates again was a revelation. But, I'm narcissistic like that.

Jill said...

Guess I didn't read your blog closely enough! :S Sorry bout that. But congrats! It seems like that egg just really wanted to be fertile! :D I'm so happy for you.

Alyssa said...

I'm going to go ahead and steal "Wake up and piss excellence" because it's brilliant. And I'll be grabbing a copy of Wii Tetris because it sounds like a pile of awesome. I love piles of awesome.

Jaci said...

1/2 a Unisom sleep tablet before you go to bed each night. It really took the edge off for me.

You can Google it. :)

Tasha said...

I gained only 6 pounds with my twins, and now 30 lbs lighter than pre-IVF at 3 weeks post c-section. My belly has 3 tiny stretch marks and I seriously did not look big, when I delivered at 36 weeks I loioked 7 months with a singleton, no one beleived it was twins! Oh, but I was sick a lot and felt bad about complaining after trying so hard!

*~*Lis*~* said...

I was sicker in the beginning with my twins, but less sick later on. I REALLY hope this is the case for you sick sucks.

Oh and have you googled images of what a twin belly may look like after? Don't - it's nasty! Mine are 2 1/2 and I still haven't recovered.

Stacy @ "The Houe on Route 66" said...

I'm 28 weeks with boy/girl twins and the sickness was almost unbearable for about the first 4 months. What finally helped me was this (I swear I'm not like an advertising rep or anything) - www.primabellarx.com. I was totally skeptical when my doctor gave it to me (I figured he was just tired of hearing me bitch about the vomiting) but it really did work.

Best of luck! I'm thinking (hoping) twins are gonna be a lot of fun. :)

Rebecca said...

Just like us fertile Myrtles you hard to conceive girls get to complain about every ounce of your pregnancy because it's your RIGHT.

Also is a subchorionic hematoma the same thing as a placental lake? I had TONS of placental lakes and was sent to a specialist who shrugged his shoulders and was like You are just fine and Your Baby is just fine. So, I had no problems......

Here is to a full nine months of pregnancy, a short painless delivery, and a happy colic free newborn.

Two Moms, Two Monkeys said...

Twins are great! I'm very excited for you and the stories to come. I have a ton of twin gear we are getting rid of...its too bad you aren't local. Its yours if you come pick it up ;)

Carrie said...

So excited for you, but sorry for the sick! :(. I transferred two blasts and had triplets- ID twins and a fraternal... I wrote plenty about my anxiety over ttts and the other twinny stuff. And all was perfect!

Big hugs (but don't barf on me.)

ks said...

Ahhh Tetris Master! Bow down! My game is the new/old Mario Brothers! Love It!

I know twins is scary. You just have to take it one week at a time. My SIL was very ill with her's. With the gagging as well. She kept granola bars in her purse and anytime the gags started she would munch... Just a thought. Keep well Tetris Master! LOL!

Stephanie said...

I made the mistake of telling my video game-playing, uber competitive husband about Tetris Party, and now he's going to download it on the Wii. Thanks, Jen! (actually it's my fault. I should have just downloaded it and then gotten really good at it and then been, oh hey! Look at this new game. Let's play. And I would have blasted my husband out of the water).

Hope you're feeling better soon. The burping is THE worst.

Laura said...

Yeah...you should never google identical twins. But the fact that there are two yolk sacs is fantastic and bodes for a beautiful pregnancy (after the pukiness of course). And on that note, get thee some Zofran. Or Phenergan, or Compazine. I did all three myself. And candied ginger. And vitamin B6. And Unisom. All things to try to put the pukes behind you. Congrats on your graduation from the RE. Feel better soon!!!!!

Anonymous said...

My identical twins had two yolk sacs but were monoamniotic (my RE explained it as the gestational sac is the house and the amniotic sac is a room in the house and that it is safer if they have their own rooms)...their cords tangled and I miscarried at 9 weeks. However, a few months later a friend of mine had the same situation, a really easy pregnancy, and now her identical twin boys are almost 2! I also got pregnant naturally (unheard of, I know) about a month after my D&C surgery and had a beautiful baby sister for my son!

As for scary bellies, my cousin carried her fraternal twin girls until 39 weeks 4 days. She and her husband are both very tall (she is 5'11" and he is 6'10"), so one baby weighed 9 lb 5 oz and the other weighed 9 ob 10 oz! That's 19 pounds of babies! Scary! Oh, and she went through a midwife and had a natural home birth with no drugs...also crazy!

Whitney said...

I'm 17 weeks and I am a Zofran advocate! Starting at 5 weeks, I was sick 24/7. It would have been impossible for me to continue functioning at LIFE if my doctor hadn't prescribed Zofran for me. You should check into it! I was able to stop taking it at 13 weeks. PS - Congratulations on the bebehs. So so exciting.

Pyjammy Pam said...

2 yolk sacs is v good. My boys all shared one placenta, and we didnt' know they each had their own amniotic sacs until 23 weeks. but had i known then about the # of yolk sacs generally = # of amniotic sacs, i wouldn't have freaked out for 15 weeks.

anyhoo. hope the sickies pass soon!

Bekah said...

Holy crapsauce, Jen! I haven't read any of my blogs for a while now (and obviously, I have not updated my blog in for-freaking-ever), so I've just seen your news! Sweet! Also, I am due a week after you. Somehow, first time was a charm for us, too. Congratulations! Although, I'm betting no identical twins for us, though. The powers that be are pretty much laughing at you because, come on- that's a pretty damn good joke, isn't it?

Cheryl said...

I became all about the Zofran when the gagging persisted into the 15th effing week. I highly recommend you go there sooner than later; just be prepared to eat lots of Fiber One cereal because it seems to stop both the puking and the pooping.

Also, LeBron is a douche.

Carol said...

Agreed on the Zofran front. If you need it, take it! I did with my second pregnancy and was still puking daily (but only once per day!) once I started the Zofran....but yeah, it will constipate the bejesus out of you. :( AND YEA! Congrats on twins! And ha ha for kicking hubby's arse on a video game.

Parsing Nonsense said...

Heh heh, it occurs to me that so excellent are you at playing Tetris that now you're playing it with two fetuses in your uterus...

Anonymous said...

Call your doctor to get a prescription for Zofran. I was sick all day every day until my doctor prescribed me this.

christine said...

I hope you are able to feel better soon! And you can bet that if I get pukey, gaggy morning sickness after infertility and IVF, I'll bit** about it too!! Write on!

Shanna said...

Jen,
Love reading your blog! I'm 23 weeks with IVF twin girls and I feel soooo sorry for you and the sickness. I was ridiculously nauseous all day, every day until about week 18. I had Zofran, but it did little to help. And nothing else really helped me not feel nauseous. I'll never drink another ginger ale either...

I've never commented before, but just wanted to send you gobs of nausea sympathy. Ugh.

Shanna said...

Jen,
Love reading your blog! I'm 23 weeks with IVF twin girls and I feel soooo sorry for you and the sickness. I was ridiculously nauseous all day, every day until about week 18. I had Zofran, but it did little to help. And nothing else really helped me not feel nauseous. I'll never drink another ginger ale either...

I've never commented before, but just wanted to send you gobs of nausea sympathy. Ugh.

Ann M. said...

Dude. I hate to say this but when I got pregnant with the Captain I couldn't play Guitar Hero anymore and that totally stuck. I see it even now and want to barf.

Love the picture!

K_Dot said...

Congrats!
Please don't gain only 6 lbs. (OMG...) I really don't think that is something to brag about when you have twins.
Get a copy of Dr. Barbara Luke's book when you are expecting Twins, triplets, or Quads. Awesome book on growing big healthy twins. Also tells you all the stuff nobody else will :o)
I followed {most} of her advise (The eating is a little extreme, but the weight gain guidelins are great) and my boys were 6lbs8oz and 7lbs 2oz when I delivered at 37.5 weeks.
Good Luck!

kelley said...

i promise a twin belly doesnt have to be that bad
have a look at my blog: "if it's not one thing ~ it's ... your mother" for some not-so-scary belly shots
http://how-did-i-end-up-so-normal.blogspot.com/

i didnt blog for months once i was really REALLY, no denying, pregnant... i was sick. it just went from one pregnant nastiness to the next and i knew NOBODY wanted to hear it - even if i am/was one of the "infertiles".

good luck to you & may you always have a barf bag within reach.

Shannon said...

When I was pregnant with my twins, it was miserable, I had morning, noon and night sickness for 6 months, and then I couldn't breath, babies were breach and took up most of my lung space, so I always felt like I just ran a marathon, I was miserable, but it was worth it, they were born 4 weeks early (YEAH) and perfectly healthy. I didn't get stretch marks from them, and I looked like I was 5-6 months pregnant

Shannon said...

when I gave birth.

Good Luck to you!!!
My twins are now 16, oh joy. :)

Steph said...

The last time I checked in here, Olivia was a few months old, I had followed you for at least a year and a half before that. I go and finally have a baby of my own, got curious what you're up to, and here you are having twins. Congrats!!!

Kat and Mouse said...

Congratulations on the twins. I am currently 8 weeks. Week six and seven were the worst nausea-wise, however, that's all changed. This might sound like some crunchy hippie advise but it worked so well for me. All I did was eat half a cantaloupe everyday for five days and I feel like a new vibrant person. I hope this works for you. (plus cantaloupe is in season and i find it to be a perfect sweet and salty snack)

Anonymous said...

The only reason I'm posting anonymous is that I'm too lazy to get a Google account.It's not that I'm a malicious lurker. I'm 8 weeks pg and have been taking 50mg of B6 2x per day and 1/2 unisom with the second dose of B6 at night. No ick or sick for me. Definitely google it.
All the best
Joy

Anonymous said...

Not a mean lurker either. I have 15 month old twins (fraternal). They were 7 pounds and 6.5 repectively. My daughter has cerebral palsy, likely from her insane birth. All I can say is...have a c-section, twin skin is real (also my abdominal muscles tore in half and won't be fixed without surgery), and it is WAY more than twice the work of one (I also have a 4yr old). DO NOT let other parents of twins, especially if thier kids are older because chances are they have severe hindsight bias, tell you it is not that bad. It is but you will survive.

MissMVK said...

My friend Carrie from Tubeless text messaged me and told me that you are having ID twins after a singleton! The very same thing happened to us! My ID twins are now four months old and we are having an amazing time.

I thought that 1 + 2 was going to be harder than the reverse, but for me, having the twins after my singleton has been easier because I'm more laid back. I was also SICK SICK SICK while pregnant with the twins. I was on a serious dose of Zofran (my Zofriend) ODTs and didn't stop puking until 33 weeks. I delivered at 36w. I'm not making this sound like much fun, am I?

All in all, being pregnant with twins is amazing (and grueling) but the end result is totally worth it! Here so you and your clown car uterus!!! Congrats!

Frozen Egg Bank said...

Hi Jen! I just stumbled upon your blog and I am so happy for you and your twin babies coming soon! My husband and I are looking for a frozen egg bank to undergo IVF. Although you are hurting right now, it will be worth it in the end! congrats and don't google stuff, it scares me more than it gives the truth ;)

Kelli said...

Hi Jen, I have been reading for a few years and never commented, but I wanted to share my subchorionic hematoma pregnancy story with you. My bleeding started big time the day after my BFP, and continued tons of bright red blood so I thought I miscarried. Not so. I had a huge hematoma and it had detached the placenta a little. I would bleed tons all the time. It never went away. I put restrictions on my lifting finally, no more than a gallon of milk, and that helped. I thought I lost him several times, and they told me I had a 50/50 chance of losing him. I can't say I wasn't terrified the entire pregnancy...especially since it was coming after cervical cancer with subsequent surgery in which my cervix was severely shortened. BUT, today, I am looking at my wonderful beautiful 15 month old son...I am not trying to scare you, just letting you know it does happen, it is scary, and you can make it through. Good luck!

Deanna said...

Totally late to the party, but congrats on your twins! I have 16-month old identical girls, and they are so much fun. No, really! The belly pictures online creeped me out too...but mine never looked that strange or distorted. There's hope! You will, however, totally forget what it feels like to take a normal breath after about 15 weeks gestation. All the best! : )

momma monkey said...

sorry about your morning sickness, but yah, looking up multiple babies pregnancy belly pics is a DEFINATE NO! When we started the IVF process, i too googled that and i totally have freaked myself out....