Because she did. This very evening. Half diarrhea, half 40 year old man toilet clogging turd. Right in the tub, with no warning save one tiny grunt and a duck fart. And then we all died. The end.
I'd love to describe it to you in painfully uninteresting detail, but all I remember saying is "OH MY GOD I AM CATCHING POOP IN MY HAND!" and also "GET A DIAPER ON HER ALREADY GAAAAH!" I mean seriously, I can't think of any thing worse than scooping up a turd with your hand while suffering raging morning sickness.
First the whole pee cup thing, and now this? If the trend continues, what am I going to say at business events when they do the "tell us something interesting about yourself" ice breaker? I have no discernible talents, no athletic ability, and no hobbies besides Baby Gap, and now my daughter shits in the tub. And I'm totally screwed if my mouth stops doing this:
I've got nothing to talk about except poop - my lack thereof, and Olivia's abundance. I'm going to bed. The end.
One Year Ago: It Is Entirely Possible That I've Lost My Marbs
Two Years Ago: Motherhood Maternity is a Whore