Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I seem to have gotten my appetite back.

Or, Fat Albert's appetite.
Either way, move your ass!  I'm hungry!

Oh yes, I'm still sick.  And the anonymous commenter who hoped that I would blow hard chunks?  Got her wish.  You're welcome, I did it all for you, perhaps you will hate me less or perhaps not but HEY! HEY! HEY!  Gimmeh some tortilla chips! 

On Saturday, I ate a big bowl of cherries and then like 3 hours later I blew hard chunks that created a scene that could have been featured in the opening credits of True Blood. 

This picture is only slightly more sexy than my cherry vomit.
It was epic, really. I mean, I was writhing and groaning and if you didn't know that I was about to vomit you might think I was doing something naughty.  Nope. Just working myself up to yak in the most dramatic way possible.

The Sickness seems to be easing up.  Like, I only feel like I'm going to vomit 6 hours of the day instead of 24.  I'll be fine and starving and then out of nowhere WHAMMO SICKY BARFY BOO HOO HOO.  If you think that makes me sound like excellent company, then you are right!  I'm all kinds of good times.  I mean, there is totally no way that I'm reaching the end of my sympathy allowance at home and at work.  Everyone just loves my erratic behavior.

I almost murdered and ate my waiter at Chili's last week while he was trying to talk me into buying some stupid ass golf ball for St. Jude's* when I had been waiting for them to open since 9 o'clock so that I could eat some tortilla chips and salsa and all this guy wants to do is keep me from my chips and salsa and OMG NO I DO NOT NEED ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR YOU TO SHUT YOUR YAPPER AND GET MEH MAH CHIPS. 

Today I ate two breakfasts (a bowl of cereal, and a bagel with cream cheese), two lunches (a can of soup, and a frozen lasagna meal), one dinner (filet mignon and crash hot potatoes, OMG) and then two big bowls of ice cream.  And snacks in between every meal.  And I felt good all day.  And I went to the OB and heard twin heartbeats and the only downside was that I couldn't convince anyone to look at my vagina or give me an ultrasound. 

And I didn't even have to use my AK...I gotta say it was a good day.

Since I'm getting all the ZOMG UR YOUGE comments lately (I'm not, but you know, people are asshats), I'll post some pictures of my expanding waistline.

7 Weeks

10 Weeks, plus impatient toddler.

15 Weeks, less impatient toddler, plus bed head and hairy armpit.
--

*I still donated, because come on.  St. Jude's.  I don't want you to think I'm a heartless asshole.

30 comments:

HereWeGoAJen said...

I think I was about the same at 15 weeks, but with only one baby. People are stupid.

Krystle said...

zomg, you are so still a skinny bitch! I looked more pregnant than you before at 8 months post partum. Oh, a hint that you probably know or may not care to read. The morning, er all day sickness, gets worse when you get the least bit hungry. Then you feel sick so you don't want to eat, vicious cycle. I assume you are taking zofran. Either way, The point is, eat first thing, eat your lunch, eat before you get hungry it will help with some of the nausea. Or...it won't lol.

strongblonde said...

i'm telling you...i lived on arby's for the first half of the pregnancy.

and love me some ice cube

JenM said...

Glad you're feeling better, and ditto the commenter above saying you need to eat before you get hungry or it's a vicious cycle. Also, whatever you do, don't nap. That always made me feel so much worse, and so bitter, because, hello, I wanted a nap damn it!

Hope it keeps getting better!

Anonymous said...

Love your blog! I have 16 month old twin girls and you have to eat before you are hungry...I was so sick for brace yourself 24 weeks. Threw up anytime of day...YUCK YUCK... oh and to this day I can't eat cheerios, they look almost as bad as I am sure the cherries did! Good luck!

Hadiyah said...

Long time infertile whore, first time commenter. Just wanted to say I <3 your blog. Seriously, it's the only IF blog that I still want to read once the blogger is pregnant.

Please don't listen to assholes who say mean stuff on the Internet. They=suck. Jen=awesome.

EB said...

You look great (and people are b-holes. A co-worker called me "Big Lady" my whole pregnancy and I almost chucked a donut at her head.) I found that with my twin pregnancy, my ass grew at the same rate as the belly which was awesome. It was also ergonomic.

Oh yeah, and I agree with others. Stuff your face to battle the pukeys, blah, blah, repeat others, blah.

Nicole said...

ZOMG I LURVE YOUR BLOG!!
Your cherry story so reminded me of the movie Witches of Eastwick. You are not huge. And people are asshats. Thank you for always being completely honest and entertaining!

Alyssa said...

First of all, ha ha, you are SO gangsta.

Second, you are not huge, you are adorable and also CREATING LIFE x 2! When on earth did you get to 15 weeks already? It seems like you just announced your BFP like 2 weeks ago.

It probably seems quicker to me since I'm not gestating and I'm not barfing every other minute.

Losh said...

I wasn't much different at 15 weeks either! How funny that people say you're huge - what on earth are they going to say when you get to full term? The mind boggles!

Stephanie said...

You make me laugh every single blog, i love it.

Except that picture of true blood...im not pregnant, but i was eating breakfast and now im feeling a bit queasy...

sheilah said...

Love you...love your belly pics...love reading about the impending twins, but...

POST MORE OLIVIA PICS!!!

(...sorry...seeing that little peek of her cuteness made me do that...)

Jill said...

When I was around 16 weeks pregnant with the girls a coworker looked at me and said, "wow, you're getting BIG, what are you going to do?" I was totally flummoxed by the question. Are there really options? I believe I said "Get bigger?" and get bigger I did, but 90% of it came off really really quickly after delivery because it's all baybees and their accessories. So fear not. And btw, you're really not that big. People are idiots.

mjb said...

I find there are just as many "you're small" comments as the "are you sure you're not having twins". Except I interact with the twins lady more frequently. She was asking at 27 weeks if the doc was going to "let" me go natural. Seriously, my baby is measuring normally and was just under 2 lbs at the time she asked that. People's opinions are weird.

LibbyInCT said...

You look fantastic! so sorry to hear about the barfing but hopefully it shall pass before long.

I have been meaning to tell you about this cute little book someone gave me when I had my twins, and I think it would be particularly cute for you since you have Olivia already also. It's called "You're All My Favorites" and it explains how each little kid (or bear, as in the book) can be the parents' favorites. Check it out. it's cute. My twins love it, and I bet your three kiddos will, too!

Kathleen said...

I love how your belly photos are less composed, so to speak, than last time. Life with a toddler... :) I especially like the photo with Olivia in it. Very sweet.

Kathleen said...

I love how your belly photos are less composed, so to speak, than last time. Life with a toddler... :) I especially like the photo with Olivia in it. Very sweet.

Rebecca said...

The anonymous commenter needs to start blowing chunks so she knows how it feels.......people are so heartless.

Radio Chick said...

I have never been pregnant, but I know the feeling when a waiter won't just bring mee myy chips!!!!

Coffee & Cat Hair said...

Someone actually wanted you to blow chunks? Really??

Shit after three years of trying me and my bloke have almost given up on having anything other than a dog, but I wouldn't wish chunks on anyone!

Well, except maybe my boss...and the muppet who kicked the wing mirror off my car..

Courtney said...

I love it! Keep those twin pictures coming. Sorry about the barf.

hillary said...

You don't look huge at all!

Also, my husband and I are completely addicted to crash hot potatoes. Glad to see we're not the only ones.

Jaci said...

It's probably because you're so teeny tiny to begin with that people notice the changes.

Or, you are surrounded by assholes.

People should only say, "Aww! You look great!" to pregnant women. No size comments. No due date questions. Just acknowledge the belly briefly, smile, and move on.

Social skillz. They are helpful. :)

elizabeth said...

People are assholz for sure. I saw a client at my favorite breakfast place on Sat. am and she said "Wow, you look different". I'm 39 weeks pregnant, of course I look different.

Parsing Nonsense said...

Well hello there, babies! Your mommy looks pretty and skinny and delightfully glowy. Enjoy the chips.

Christina said...

You are so not huge. I was bigger than you at 15 weeks with one. I also ate about twice as much as you and probably only puked about half as much. I also had selective puking and only puked healthy stuff...

Anonymous said...

I never "hated" you, was just disgusted by you. Your attitude, not the puking.

But I do feel good knowing that it bugged you enough to mention my previous comment in your post.

Rachel said...

Dear Anonymous,

Please go blow chunks on someone else's message board.

Love,
Those of us who read Jen's blog because we like reading it (not because we hate ourselves so much we feel the need to continue reading things that disgust us and then make rude comments to the people who wrote them)

Steph said...

You look great!! My belly was bigger than yours when I was pregnant with one. I think people forget what a pregnant woman is suppose to look like so they make stupid comments about how big you look. Same goes for babies. Oh, your baby is huge. Um, no, he's in the 15% for weight and 5% for height but thanks for noticing. *eye roll*

Anonymous said...

Nice old school rap/Ice Cube reference in the blog. That humor exemplifies why I am a reader.