Wednesday, November 10, 2010

All the stuff that's been happening...

In between me being pissed off at...everyone, apparently.  Let me show you it.

Olivia went to Boo at the Zoo.  She loved it but refused to look at the camera so that I could record her happiness.  Way to ruin memories Olivia GOD!


Totally NOMable Cupcake.
 At the zoo, Olivia discovered an undying love and devotion to the Oatmeal Cream Pie. She shoved it into her face by the fistfull, and gave me her best "I Will Cut You" look when I tried to take her picture.

Fact: I love Oatmeal Cream PIes.
Fact: I will cut you.
She basically ignored all of the animals, and went bat shit crazy over the little village of Little Tykes plastic houses.  She also threatened emancipation filings when we wouldn't let her get into someone else's wagon.  Because OMG A WAGON!  WANT!  She felt better after a Moon Pie, though, so it was a real successful parenting moment for us.

Then, we got family pictures taken by Felicia at FML Photo Design.  Olivia was fun and adorable and I loved all of the pictures and then I wished I was a millionaire so that I could buy them all.  The problem is that Felicia does way too fantastic of a job.  Here are a few that we aren't going to use for the Christmas Card.

Olivia's mullet seems to be slowly giving up on life outside of the 80's.  It's now spreading to the top of her head and is getting to be pretty long.  So I thought maybe I'd try pigtails...which went over in what I'd call a supremely piss poor fashion.  It was like she went through the Five Stages of Goddamned Grief over her new hair-do reality:

Denial
La la la...I am doing whatever I want and nothing has happened to my head.

Anger

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
I was happy playing and then you made me pose for this dumbass picture
and you can't even get the focus right!
Parenting FAIL!

Bargaining
Please!  Just take this shit out of my hair and let me poke mah eye with these nail clippers!
I won't feed my fruit to the dogs again, I swearz!
Depression
OK, I'm seriously sad.
But that noise you made was kind of funny.
Well played, mom.  Well played.
Acceptance
Oh, FINE!  I'm cute, you are correct.  Let's go watch Yo Gabba Gabba.


There's a party in my tummy!  Party party!

When I was pregnant with Olivia, I wore heels until I gave birth.  No problem.  I also wore my normal jeans with a belly band the entire time  But I'm 25 weeks right now, and for the past three weeks I haven't been able to wear anything but my running shoes and stretchy maternity pants.  Because my thighs rub so much that there is a Smokey The Bear campaign to keep me away from forests because all of that friction is damned dangerous.  And if I don't wear running shoes, my feet fall off at the ankle and are replaced with elephant appendages.
I worked all day in running shoes.  Then wore cute flats out to dinner while I sat for about an hour.
They're both swollen, but Old Lefty is really going for gold.


I've been feeling less sick, but more physically uncomfortable.  I still don't think I'm that big but people seem to be shocked by my massive girth.  So...whatever.  I can't sleep and then I'm tired all day, and by the end of the day it hurts my entire body to walk.  I look like a senior citizen when I walk and I have dirty dreams about those electric cart thingies at Wal-Mart and also about sitting on a hemorrhoid donut at work.

I can't imagine how I'll be feeling at 35 weeks, because 25 weeks is pretty insane!

---
One Year Ago:  Full of The Giddy Over New Moon
Two Years Ago: 24 Weeks
Three Years Ago:  Clomid is Boring



22 comments:

Rebecca said...

She is the cutest little cupcake ever!

CurlyGirly said...

Great entry. You made me LOL. Olivia is so cute. And you look great. I can't believe you're already 25 weeks. How exciting. Feel good Mama!

Mrs. Higrens said...

The cupcake as a cupcake. Too sweet.

My sympathies on the swollen feet. At least you don't have the heat/humidity of the summer to make it worse? (that doesn't help at all, does it?)

Annie said...

I am kinda new to your blog and I cried from laughing about Olivia cutting you and now I'm crying harder from her stages of greif over her pig tails. So damn funny.

JoDee Hale said...

LMAO... the ponytails!!!! So CUTE! And so fun to annoy small children, isn't it?

areyoukiddingme said...

At least the cutest little cupcake ever got to the point of acceptance. My girl will not allow me to do anything other than brush/comb her hair. I miss the days when her daycare teacher used to style her hair. I didn't have to listen to the crying and she always looked cute!

Nice swollen ankles...I remember those days. All I can suggest is to cut as much salt as possible out of your diet - that always helps with swelling, even though it makes life very sad.

Amanda said...

I love Olivia's cupcake custom!

I had the cankles bad when I was pregnant. Support stockings saved me big time. Get some Jobst knee highs, they really help. They are really expensive ($30/pair) and you have to be measured to get the sizing (usually pharmacies sell them), and they are SO VERY SEXY! But for real, I don't know how I could have made it otherwise after the top of my feet started to jiggle. I had to wear them everyday until bedtime and you probably need at least 3 pairs to wash every couple days.

Alexis said...

Hilarious. And I can't believe how big Olivia looks. And adorable. And all that. You look awesome too. Is all this weird coming from someone who has never commented before? I've been reading your blog since before you got pregnant with Olivia when I was struggling with fertility. I have 16 month old twins now. Twins rock.

ErinEvelyn said...

I have ankle ENVY. Seriously. Just enjoy the fact that you can still FIT into your athletic shoes. And that you don't have an odd sensation like having sand constantly between your toes (yet). If the swelling gets utterly bonkers, you MAY be up in the middle of the night running ice cold water on your forearms and wrists to relieve the carpal tunnel. On the upside.... the more uncomfortable the pregnancy gets, the greater the sense of sweet relief will be.... that you'll OF COURSE associate with the birth of your twins. :)

Mandy said...

In the spirit of senior citizens, try compression socks when you get home at night. They only work if you elevate your feet, but they work wonders. Mine weren't even HALF as huge at 25 weeks as they got later on, so you're right, it will get worse :). My swelling even crept up into my neck & made it non-existent. It was just beautiful!

Laura said...

OMG! She is so cute! I love the cupcake costume and her pigtails are adorable! And I gotta tell ya, in those pictures you don't look big. You just look normal pregnant. Sorry about your feet.....more reason to sit on the couch and rest them, by eating ice cream...:)

Chris and Annalisa said...

Okay, I've only had a singleton but I had triplet-sized swelling issues with my feet, so I can relate!

I resorted to Crocs (I know!) towards the end, but I found that wearing a pair of wide shoes helped my comfort & swelling quite a bit. (I won't tell if you won't.) Aerosoles has seriously comfy flats that come in wide. And some of them are decently cute, too.

Chris and Annalisa said...

Oh, and P.S...I NEED that cupcake costume of Olivia's! Oh. My. HECK! Cutest costume ever! Where did you get it?

Amy said...

A cupcake costume?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Awesome.

As for the feet: Compression stockings, for real. They are supremely unsexy but SOSOSOSO helpful. I started wearing them around 25 weeks just to keep swelling at bay. They worked like a charm. Might I suggest Dansko clogs? Slip on, no laces, they deliberately run a bit large so are awesome for pregnancy, and they have so many super cute styles and colors. Zappos.com will get them to you overnight. LOVE. LOVE.

If it makes you feel any better, I felt shittay in the extreme up until about 30ish weeks with my twins. Tired, pulled muscles, nauseated. Then, suddenly, at 30 weeks I felt awesome. Less illness, less tired, less achy. I don't know why, but a lot of twin moms in my group experienced the same thing. There is hope!

I threw myself a little party every Saturday when I had made one more week. I wrote it on the calandar, high fived my husband, and congratulated the babies on cooking so nicely.

Oh, and the electric cart thingy? Use it. Shoot I'll Cut You looks at anyone who comments.

Also? See if your OB will give you a temporary handicapped parking pass for use during the winter. It will enable you to not take the chance on falling and breaking yourself when you are REALLY big and off balance. I had my boys in March and spent the winter terrified of falling on the ice.

Okay. Irritating advice filled response over.

You're daughter is adorable, the end.

PJ said...

Olivia is sooooooo amazingly cute!

Twin pregnancy = seriously hard!!! My feet have ALMOST recovered here now that the girls are 5 months.

But, it's so worth it.

Skywaitress said...

OH EM GEEE the pigtails! I can't handle how ridiculously cute she is. When there are three of your adorable little baby girls running around I may die of the cute. Just saying.

A New Beginning said...

I LOVE the fact that Olivia had an oatmeal cream pie and a moon pie in one outing. I thought we were the only parents that fed our child such good food!

Kiki said...

we have the exact same coffee table... but you being the superior parent actually covered the corners. I, being being far inferior, just randomly let my son crash into things. =)

Alyssa said...

She is darling!
Needz moar pregnancy photos plz. Kthxbai.

Parsing Nonsense said...

Olivia looks DELICIOUS!!!

Her new hair do is awesome, she just doesn't know it because she's small. And like the Ents from Lord of the Rings say, "That doesn't make much sense to me. Then again, you are very small."

heartincharge said...

Why are you so funny? You are very funny. whole post was funny.
And I can't believe you are 25 weeks already!

Gurlee said...

Seriously, you are THEE best blogger of all times, for realz. I can't get over how fucking funny you are.
Your daughter is adorable and I hope your little baybee catches up to your big baybee.
And the forest fires? You kill me.