Apparently? When a woman is pregnant with twins? Her abdomen? It gets really fucking big.
Like, really big.
I know from experience that this is a very shocking concept for people to handle.
Yes, it is a matter of fact. Women who are pregnant with twins are freaks and you should treat them as such. It is your duty as a good citizen to be as obnoxious as possible when dealing with one of these weirdos.
Because some of these beasts? Actually think they look good! Cute, even! I mean, don't let them walk around with this delusion. First, you need to act really shocked at their massive girth each time you see them. You need to tell them exactly how fat they look. I know, I know, they are big and look scary, but they're fat and slow so just do it and RUN! If you have any snacks, throw them in the opposite of the direction you plan to run. Because they're hungry and their hate-rage blood lust can only be broken with snacks.
Sometimes? They are even excited! They think having two babies might be kind of adorable and there is no way you should let them have this excitement because it may possibly make the important things in your life seem less exciting. I mean, if people are really busy listening to some fat heifer talk about her incubation of two humans, they might not have time to listen to you talk about what you're having for dinner or which shows you plan to watch on your DVR first.
You should make sure to tell them how awful it's going to be. Say something like "GOOD LORD you are going to be BIZZAY! UR NVR GNA SLEEEP! EVAH!" Or, "your stomach is going to be so messed up." Or! OR!!!!! "Your vagina is going to explode, probably."
(I don't know if that vagina part is true, but making shit up is totally acceptable in this situation.)
And of course, they have names picked out - which, by the way, you should ask about and then act awkward and pretend you like them while making some sort of passive aggressive gesture to let them know you don't.
Because YOUR opinion is what matters. Always remember that.
One Year Ago: Jennepper's Must Have Baybee Gifts for 2009
Two Years Ago: 23 Weeks: Am Hardly Showing At All, Apparently
Three Years Ago: Did You Seriously Just Say That?