Tuesday, December 28, 2010

But a beard would go well with my lamb chops!

7 hours since my first steroid shot. I am disappointed to report that my biceps are no larger (but they do have an amazing amount of cellulite, which I officially declare to be the new black!) and I have not grown a full beard.

I am speaking in a man voice, but only because I've been awake since 3 a.m. And am running out of ways to amuse myself while sitting in bed tied to a bunch of monitors and sporting the Outkast Rib From Smoky Hot Hell (where everyone has onion BO and is a close talking overly affectionate hug giver but I can't move because OW! MY WHORE RIB!).

Blood pressures are down to normalish (128/92...better!) platelets and liver enzymes look good, babies are kicking me in my unmentionables. And by unmentionables, I mean my bladder, vagina, and butthole.

Peeing in a jug is awesome!!!! I'm sure the nurses love handling my urine. My nurse is nice and has a really cute haircut. This is the best blog ever. I love cheese.

17 comments:

Crazy Sister said...

I love that you mentioned the unmentionables!

You sound like you're doing ok, in spite of your craptastic pregnancy. These little girls sure will know how much you love them!

Jodie said...

Fingers are crossed that you get your next steriod dose in too.

krlr said...

I don't know what to say...
Yikes!
Wheee!
Good luck!
Best wishes!
...some combination thereof?

Sounds like a Merry Christmas.

Laura said...

I hope they put the steroid shot in sloooooowwwww. It frickin' kills when it goes in fast.
Here's hoping the girls scream like hell when they hit the air.

rebecca said...

You are so freaking hilarious, thanks for making me smile on a day I really needed it:) Hope things continue smoothly for you and the babes!

Jennifer said...

Hugs and prayers to you and the little girls. All of them. I hope you can bake them a little longer but if you can't, the most important thing for you to know, is that it certainly wasn't for lack of trying. You are doing great! You are doing better than you think you are, don't forget it. Of course, I could be projecting a wee bit and you don't need to hear any of this... In which case... umm.... Good to hear from you!

JP said...

Holy moly. I skip checking the funniest blog evah for ONE day and this is what happens. Seriously, all the best for you and those little kickers. Come on teeny lungs, do your jobs!!!
Oh Ha! My verification word? HUMPLE.

heartincharge said...

Amazing how you are maintaining your sense of humor in all this.

Good nurses make the world go round.

christine said...

YUM! Cheese :).

Pyjammy Pam said...

keep on keepin' on! you're doing great!

Krista said...

You are too funny! I'm glad you are keeping a sense of humor, I don't know if I'd feel the same way in your shoes, so kudos to you! Keep that sense of humor! Keep us updated!

-K said...

I love babies. I once had a nurse named December. Milkshakes are better. I'm going to go poke the cat now. Hope this helped. I posses an abundance of entertainment value, though not the fun risque sort.

-K

PJ said...

So good that your blood pressure is better!

Ah, babies kicking unmentionables. Such memories.

Hugs

Tasha said...

I had the steroid shots 2 times, once at 32 weeks and again the day before I delivered and didn't thing they were as bad as PIO at least. Hope you hang in a while longer. If they are actually making you pee in a jug, ask for a "hat" that fits onto the toilet to collect it instead.

Ms. J said...

Here's hoping Wilford Brimley pops in as an orderly to take your vitals ;l)

Leah said...

Praying for you and the girls!!

sheilah said...

Yay for the bp getting better! Hope those little twinks hang in there a bit longer but am glad you are in hospital and being carefully monitored.