So. Wednesday. The day before my beta. I go pee and guess what? Spotting!
Now, I've spent a ridiculous amount of time over the past four years checking the toilet paper. Trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, trying to recover from being pregnant, trying to get pregnant again. It's just reflex at this point to wipe and look.
Luckily nobody was in the work bathroom after I pulled yet another wipe and look and was all, "UGH of fucking course."
Pink and brown and disgusting and just offuckingcourse, you know? So I go back to work. And a few hours later when I leave, I call the doctor and they're all, "hey, it's probably fine! See you tomorrow, drama queen!" They said it's really common, and brown and pink is a good sign because it's probably old blood and blah blah blah.
The spotting stopped that evening, and since there may or may not have been (ahem) some loving going on at our house the night before, I chalked it up to mah sensitive cervix is a whore, the end. Mark chalked it up to something else and if you don't know what then I'm not telling you.
Now it's Thursday and I have my beta. I'm totally calm all day. My beta is good: 5119 - doubling every 1.7 days and things are looking up! I'm genuinely excited. I download a pregnancy app on my iPhone, which was probably my big mistake because 5 minutes later I go to the bathroom and guess what?
Red blood! Yippee! And, the entire night was full of a fun array of colors seeping from my Lady Business. Brown! Pink! REDRUM! Hell, I even ruined a pair of Victoria's Secret underwear. I mean, my life is virtually complete at this point.
I didn't even call the doctor yesterday, because what are they going to do? Nothing. At all. I will either stay pregnant or not. I'm strangely detached from the whole thing and am now twisting it to get my way. For example:
Mark: Are you going to take the dogs out?
Me: I can't, I might be having a miscarriage.
Who can argue with THAT logic?
I hoped for a little reprieve from the action in my underwear, but this morning was kind of like the first day of my period when I woke up, except it was dark and sludgey.. So...yeah. It's kind of hard to throw up jazz hands over a nice rising beta while wearing a panty liner.
I hate the word panties. (Making the gag gesture right now.)
I'll probably call the doctor today, but I'm sure they'll be all It Might Be OK So Suck It Up. My ultrasound is in a week. Hold on to your
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