At times I enjoy wildly inappropriate music. I've been listening to two wildly inappropriate stations on Pandora: Mystikal and Nelly.
I like those stations because they play 10 year old hip hop songs that remind me of my bar hopping/being ass wrangled college days.
(I mean, you simply have not lived until you have been dry humped from behind in a bar so crowded you were unable to move.)
The lyrics are so stupid and don't apply to my life but I don't care. I love it anyway. Courtesy of Mystikal:
"shake your ass, but watch yourself!"
I am tempted on occasion to create my own rap-adaptation of a song and post it on my blog but I do not because I'm lazy and I also forget my brilliant lyrics as soon as I get out of the car.
My most recent potential rap-adaptation was to Nelly's Country Grammar, and was about driving in my company car which is rear wheel drive.
(Rear wheel drive is just a nicer way to say Winter Death Machine.)
"Oh I'm sliding down down baby, your street in a Dodge Charger."
I should be paid several million dollars for these rhymes. I could be the new Weird Al. Annoying Jen, perhaps? Record labels: CALL ME. Or anywone who wants to pay me money to be annoying: CALL ME.
Olivia likes to listen to music (mookzick) and jump on our bed while looking in the mirror. It is as funny as it sounds. She is very serious about Breaking It Down. Sometimes we are allowed to join her in dance, and sometimes she tells us to go to sleep.
We were listening to the Nelly station because most of the songs have the clean lyrics but also allow her to properly shake her ass but watch herself (maybe Mystikal had a 3 year old?).
The song Air Force Ones came on...a song about the sheer awesomeness of basketball shoes...and Olivia was killing it. Until I interrupted her groove:
Jennepper: Do you get to stompin in your air force ones?
Olivia: (stops, turns, looks at me dead serious) YES.
Not yeah or uh huh, but YES. Like, YES MORON I DO IN FACT GET TO STOMPING IN MY AIR FORCE ONES, B-BALL SHOES 4-EVER.
There are probably several people simultaneously clinching their butt cheeks at the thought of me raising three kids to act just like me. But it's not just me, Mark is weird too. Last night:
"I have that T-Pain song with that stupid British lady saying it is 5 o'clock in the morning stuck in my head!"
And he has been known to sing Gloria Estefan songs. Namely, The Rhythm is Gonna Get You. Complete with imitation of the music.
So I guess what I'm saying is that we are equally to blame.