Sunday, August 5, 2012

Lady of Leisure


Yes, that is correct.  I am done with work and now I shall relax all day every day.

(And then every stay at home mom everywhere banned together to set my house on fire and then we all died, the end.)

It seems that I was too vague the last time I posted about quitting work, with the whole Big Things Have Happened type wording.  The Big Things are all things you already know way too much about - I was pregnant with identical twins/one died/the other one lived for 17 months in intensive care at Akron Children's/I got pregnant by surprise/Ainsley died/I had another baby/oh, and also I have a three year old who thinks she is the boss OMG. 
So yeah.  Quitting my job seems pretty minor in the scheme of things.  The thing is this: I liked my job but was not necessarily happy there.  When it got to be the month of my scheduled return to work I started to rethink everything and I just...couldn't.  And we are fortunate enough to be able to live well on one income.  And while my butthole tightens every time I think of the money I'm giving up? It will be fine. 

And I'm already trying to line up some part time work that pays pretty well, so that would be nice.  If that doesn't work out, oh well.

I'm  not going to sit here and act like, "oh, I'm doing this for the kids because they need me at home."  They don't.  I think that they would be fine with or without me at home and actually I am kind of bitchy and stressed out when I am with kids all day and I'm sure a babysitter would be nicer to be around.  I do wish I could have done this while Ainsley was still here, because it would've been nice to soak up All of the Minutes with her. 

But then there were (literally) millions of dollars to be paid for all that wonderful care she received and would you believe me if I told you I don't make millions of dollars?  Shocking I know, because I have a Kardashian ass and a Jersey Shore vocabulary and someone should really be paying me for being so damned fabulous all the time.

Anyway.  That's it.  I'm off work.  For a little bit at least.  It will all be fine.  Nothing else crazy has happened just yet. 

However: fuck you, Pottery Barn Kids.  Fuck you, and all your adorable personalized shit that I can  no longer afford to buy because your sales suck and you never have coupons.  You are dead to me.

22 comments:

Jennifer said...

I am cracking up at the Pottery Barn comment! I stopped working after baby #2. It's like being on vacation all the time. Only with kid pulling on your arm every two seconds.

HereWeGoAJen said...

It sounds strange to say this, but I'm glad it was only those Big Things and not anything new. Because that would have been ridiculous.

Enjoy your new leisure time! I'm a big fan, personally.

JHoller said...

Glad you made a decision that is going to work better for you! And fuck you Pottery Barn hooded towels for $29.50 a pop plus $6 personalization!!!! Just wanted to add because I'm still mad that I have $10 towels and apparently my child needs $37 towels according to PBK.

PJ said...

Ah, soooo glad it wasn't any other big thing!

If I could work like three days a week, (and still make the same salary, hahahaha!) it would be ideal. But nine weeks out for the summer isn't too shabby. Enough for me to know that being a stay at home mom would be nice, but it isn't like rainbows and unicorns all of the time. :)

If I can't afford something (like Pottery Barn) I try not to even look! It's too painful!

Anon said...

Can you write a book? I love reading your blog, although no need for further BIG THINGS of the unpleasant sort to happen to your family!

Rebecca said...

Babysitting? You could probably have some pretty catchy slogan with your Kardashan bottom and Jersey Shore vocabulary.

You could charge $30 per day per kid you babysit. Turn on Bevis and Butthead for the kids and you'll be set for all day blogging.

Melissa said...

When I lost my daughter I was between jobs and I found the thought of returning to work unthinkable. Like you said, I just couldn't. It's been almost two years now since I've stayed home and I am definitely happier than I would be working. I'm no where near the perfect SAHM, but I enjoy my time with my daughters. And I think the time away from a job helped me mentally after my loss.

I hope you enjoy your time together with your girls.

areyoukiddingme said...

After working every day for a very long time, it is like a vacation. The kind where you stay at home and complete every project you've been putting off for ever and then you go back to work for the relaxation time. That kind of vacation. Enjoy it. :)

Anne said...

Hmm, you seem to have enough readers that you can just blog and supplement that way. :) Right? Right? Cuz blogging makes your riiiich. ;)

Pussy Parent said...

I was worried there was some new terrible thing that happened so I'm relieved that's not the case. You deserve nothing but good luck from now on. Screw PB Kids.

Wendy said...

SAHM is a HUGE adjustment and there are many days that I think my kids would be better off with another caretaker!
Oh, and this doesn't help too much, but if you sign up for PBKids emails they'll send a whopping 15% off coupon to use every month or so. :)

Meghan1009 said...

We were on "vacation" this weekend (aka 2 nights in a hotel a mere 3 hours from our house) and stopped in at a mall that had a PBK. My husband said "what's that?" and my response?
"That's the kind of shit we'd buy if I worked and we had a lake house. We don't need to go in there".
I'm glad you're joining our "ladies of leisure" club and staying home. It's like being at the spa, except my toes rarely get painted and I need a butt massage too, since my butthole has been permanently clinched since May (when I decided to stay home). :) Enjoy!

Steph said...

Proof that I am a hopeless optimist: when you said that something big had happened to your family, I thought maybe you won the lottery or something. Because, dammit, if anyone deserves it it's YOU.

Bree said...

Get a SITTER!! Seriously, (if you can) because you will/need those days where you need to be by yourself. And not the whole when my husband gets home I'll get a break, because that never happens. See if someone can take the kids during the day for a couple of hours or a full day. Don't even run errands when those gorgeous babies are away. Just sit on your ass and don't move! You deserve to relax and give your mind a break. A happy mom is a happy household. Now, go drink some coffee and put your earplugs in... it's time to wipe someone's ass. LOL

Linds102 said...

I've been home with my peeps for 5 years. And the idea of going back to work makes me ill. Not that I love every minute of every day, because frankly, I'm lucky if I get a whole minute in one day that I do love. Kids are crazy, and they make me crazy. But its the crazy that I look back on and am grateful for having been there for. Good luck-but I promise you'll look back and laugh at something adorable that you might have otherwise missed (like your kid yelling "it's pissing" at a baby doll who pees. I mean, if I worked, that might have happened at daycare and I would have missed it!)

And while you are on the subject...PBK-why do they feel it necessary to charge so much for shipping?! Just when I thought I had them where I wanted them for new bedding-they tried to charge me $25 for shipping! So much for that extra 10% off! Thanks, but no thanks!

hhandp said...

I love your blog and your honesty! Thank you for mentioning that you know your kids would be ok whether you were home or not. I think the whole working/sahm debate is the weirdest thing and I wish more people had your outlook because you are so right. I hope you enjoy your time at home with your beautiful girls!

KathyP said...

Good decision ! You should seriously consider writing for a living. You are hilarious !

EB said...

Dude, I would totally watch a reality show with you in it. I also have love/hate for The Pottery Barn. Swindlers...

Bobbi said...

The last paragraph is the real reason I read your blog..it rocked:) Oh and the gratuitous pics of cute kids:)

Courtney said...

Glad you're able to be home and spend time with little ones. Being a SAHM has one perk that a working mom doesn't get...NO BRA! Welcome home.

Lorrie said...

I don't know... don't hate me for saying this, but I think Land of Nod is even cuter than PBK. I think they're pretty comparable on the crazy-expensiveness scale, though.

Milla said...

I hope that things are going ok at your house and am also glad that it was not a new, bad Big Thing. I would also like to read more you so if you do ever think about a book that would be genuinely fabulous.x