Saturday, October 20, 2012

Emails to myself.

I email myself.  A lot.  (Not alot.  Alot isn't a word.  Did you know that?  If you didn't, this cartoon on The Oatmeal might help you.)  Random reminders, things to add to my many lists (I'm a whore of listing), blog topics.  Whatever.

I always think of blog topics when I have zero time to blog, so I whip out the iPhone and email myself.  The problem is that I only email myself a phrase, and then by the time I get around to actually writing about whatever it was?  I have no idea whatever it was.  None.  Take for example these two emails:


I have really no idea what either of these things mean but I can god damn guarantee that I found them to be mind blowingly hilarious at the time.  Like, PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT STRANGLING WIRE AND VASECTOMY SCREAMING!  Or something.  It is so urgent I don't even have time to create a subject line.  Wouldn't want to lose any of the brilliance in the body of the email by taking the time to create a subject line.

I'm not sure why I find it so terribly difficult to keep up with my life lately.  If I'm being honest, I've been busier.  But here I am, feeding Adelle a bottle with one hand and emailing myself with another and then forgetting to brush my teeth.  I just bought a notebook with tabs to try to keep track of my blog ideas and various other projects.  So maybe I will stop emailing myself random ridiculousness.

(I say "various other projects" like it is important.  Let me be clear: it is not important.  At all.  It is Pinterest, mostly.  And brushing my teeth.) 

(But hey if you want to hire me so that I have something important to keep track of in my notebook then by all means, email me.)

(Until then, I will write things down, like, "why does my right armpit sweat profusely and my left hardly at all?" and "sometimes I think my big toe resembles a penis.")

(I bet everyone thinks that Mark's penis looks like a toe now.  LOL FOREVER.)

(It doesn't though.)

(It is really hard to stop with the parentheses once I start.)

(The end.)

(There.)

11 comments:

Tasha said...

And now I can't stop laughing and picturing a penis/toe, or is it a toe/penis? I have a feeling this is the stuff randomly laughing at inappropriate times for the next 2 months is made of.

AngelaMaude said...

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

Stephanie said...

Aw, I miss Hyperbole and a Half. What happened to her?

If you ever remember what screaming vasectomy means, please blog it. thanks.

Mary said...

I wish you blogged everyday! You are hysterical! I do lots of "projects" too....lots of board to fill on pinterest. What did we do before we had pinterest? Who knows....who cares....we are busy now!

Mary said...

...and can I add that it took me three times to prove "i'm not a robot" who the hell can see the little bitty letters/numbers they put on there.....I need reading glasses to prove...I AM NOT A ROBOT. oh no I have to do it again.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that was going to link to Hyperbole and a Half.

I know what you mean about life getting crazy even though you're not necessarily any busier than you have been before. No fun.

Milla said...

I could think of lots of events in my life that could have preceded 'vasectomy!' but I have never had the words 'strangling wire' in mind at all, so now I'm intrigued, do you need special wire? Anyway, I also email myself 'useful' items that I never use. Good luck with your notebook. Also, I am slightly worried about your teeth, don't forget them, write them in your book. It's nice to hear your random thoughts.x

Deanna said...

My right arm pit sweats more than my left, too. But my left boob hurts more than my right when it's my time of the month. Bodies are weird.

Jessica said...

Lol at the random emails and the "various other projects". I do the same thing with the notes app in my iPhone. Have absolutely NO CLUE what half the shit I wrote in there means :)

Alisha said...

I swear to god I laugh out loud every single time I read your posts. Oh my god.

Greetings from Cleveland :)

Chris and Annalisa said...

Brilliance.