I email myself. A lot. (Not alot. Alot isn't a word. Did you know that? If you didn't, this cartoon on The Oatmeal might help you.) Random reminders, things to add to my many lists (I'm a whore of listing), blog topics. Whatever.
I always think of blog topics when I have zero time to blog, so I whip out the iPhone and email myself. The problem is that I only email myself a phrase, and then by the time I get around to actually writing about whatever it was? I have no idea whatever it was. None. Take for example these two emails:
I have really no idea what either of these things mean but I can god damn guarantee that I found them to be mind blowingly hilarious at the time. Like, PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT STRANGLING WIRE AND VASECTOMY SCREAMING! Or something. It is so urgent I don't even have time to create a subject line. Wouldn't want to lose any of the brilliance in the body of the email by taking the time to create a subject line.
I'm not sure why I find it so terribly difficult to keep up with my life lately. If I'm being honest, I've been busier. But here I am, feeding Adelle a bottle with one hand and emailing myself with another and then forgetting to brush my teeth. I just bought a notebook with tabs to try to keep track of my blog ideas and various other projects. So maybe I will stop emailing myself random ridiculousness.
(I say "various other projects" like it is important. Let me be clear: it is not important. At all. It is Pinterest, mostly. And brushing my teeth.)
(But hey if you want to hire me so that I have something important to keep track of in my notebook then by all means, email me.)
(Until then, I will write things down, like, "why does my right armpit sweat profusely and my left hardly at all?" and "sometimes I think my big toe resembles a penis.")
(I bet everyone thinks that Mark's penis looks like a toe now. LOL FOREVER.)
(It doesn't though.)
(It is really hard to stop with the parentheses once I start.)